Billy no mates

So...anyone else fed up with being home alone while others are all out enjoying themselves? I wouldn't mind if my arms were working, at least then I could do some reading or sewing or something.

I don't mind admitting this illness makes you damn lonely - it's great to have Cyber friends but I'm severley lacking in the 'real' girly mates department! I moved from the cold North to the (sunny?) South last year and have found it really hard to make friends. I have lots of work colleagues but am too exhausted to go out and socialise with them in the evenings, and the fibro support group near me meet on a weekday morning when I'm at work! I have no young children so don't get to meet other mums, and my partner's friends are all great, but he lives 25 miles away so I don't get to see them, other than when I'm with him.

Some days it just feels like I'm in solitary confinement, and it's just not nice :(

11 Replies

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  • Oh, Jezobelle

    That's so hard. It can be really difficult to make new friends when you move to a new area, even without the dreaded fibro sucking the energy out of you.

    Although I'm sure it will improve in time, you sound like you really need that to start happening ASAP. Is there maybe one work colleague you could just get a coffee with, rather than go for whole crowd scene? Do you talk to your neighbours at all? Are there any other local groups other than fibro support which you could join?

    You don't say whereabouts in the South you are, but it may be that there are other fibro sufferers who live fairly close who also can't get to the support group, or who would be happy to meet up with you at a different time anyway.

    I do hope you soon start to make some new friends, and feel more settled in your new home.

    Kaz

    xx

  • Hello there Jezobelle, I think many of us can relate to all you say. It's very easy to feel isolated from civilisation as we know it and to feel cut off from friends and the life we lead before Fibromyalgia.

    I notice you say you have looked into finding a local support group, this is always a good idea if you can manage it and could be a good social move in the right direction to help you get away from the four walls and to start socialising with people who suffer from the same condition and all related problems. Chatting over a coffee is good therapy in itself. Take a look in our Support Group Directory, it may provide different information to the support group info you have found locally. Please click on the link below for more info -

    fibroaction.org/Pages/Suppo...

    Have you considered perhaps starting a group yourself, this of course is another option to meet people locally?

    I do understand how you feel, I hope others perhaps who live in the same area as you reply and perhaps let you know about groups they attend. Please let us know the general area you live in, you don't have to be specific just the locality and hopefully we have members there too.

    (((hug))) xxx

    Libs

  • For instance I live on the South Coast as I am sure many of our other members do. :D

  • Hi Jezobelle,

    I live on the S.E coast. Where in the South are you?

    Yes this illness is very isolating. It sure is a bummer! Hang on in. I am trying very hard to but am feeling particularly low today.

    Love and hugs Saskia XX

  • Hi Saskia,

    I live in whitstable area and only know one other person with FMS and don't see her very often. Are you anywhere near me.

    I get very low and it is good to speak with people that understand what you are going through.

    I would just like to be the person I was a couple of years ago I have aged 5 yrs +!

    People try to understand what you are going through but don't & need to tell you you are going through the ageing process of aching etc. when you know it is more than that. I am 56yrs & young in mind and want to decorate, do gardening walking etc but find it difficult & hate it when you are asked what's up with you? when you say you have FMS, either they say 'oh' disinterested or 'What's that? & you can see they feel you are faking it!

    Sorry to ramble on but I wish it was brought to the fore & most people find out what this debilitating illness is like. they don't realize what it like to suffer lack of sleep for years and the simplest of things are a struggle.

    We have to spread the word. I have a bracelet that says Fibromyalgia on it, which makes some people ask. So many people of never heard of it.

    Hang in there, we are out here to support you.

    Big hug.

    Kate

  • I live near Woking, Surrey, work in Chertsey (12 miles away) and have a partner in Reading! All support groups in all areas are held during the week when I'm work which isn't really much help. I keep thinking about going to college to do an evening course - but I can't decide what to do, and not sure if I really have the energy for this. At the moment I am giving my all to just get to work and back, there doesn't seem to be anything left for anything else. And I used to be so active...oh the joys of fibro!

  • Woking's a little too far for me unfortunately, I am in the Hampshire area. Hopefully we have some members in your area Jezobelle. :) xxx

  • I live in west yorkshire but im stuck at homeallday myself , iv come to a concultion im going to see about helping riding for disabled to get my self assteam back and some sanutey . .ass well meeting people ,more u at home ,more u suffer with achs and paINS ,Fatuge , and stiffness ,aswell as depression which i suffer badley at the moment aswell as fibro .

    so if you like horses do some research ether go and try help a little even if 1 day a week .thats what im going to ,

    taken first step downloaded form ,next see doc if possible to do it

    2nd step try to have engery to go

    if not laid up ,

    just a thought

    tinkerbell xx

  • Hi, robcathy,

    I live in East Sussex. Whitstable is in Kent isn't it? I am 58 nearly 59 ( in March)

    I am just on my way up to bed but will write more to you tomorrow or in next couple of days. Not having a very good time at the moment so don't want to make any promises.

    Night night, Love and hugs Saskia. XX

  • Having moved house 3 time in just over 3 years ( twice in 6 months) I know how difficult it can be to force yourself to socialise. In both of my previous moves I jumped in with both feet & joined lots of clubs & groups, regardless of how bad I felt. This time I'm taking things a bit slower, I moved here in mid December which doesn't make me want to go out & explore/ meet people. However I've got some info on local groups from the library & hope to begin by joining a singing group. I make friends fairly easily nowadays & my secret is to talk/ smile to almost everyone, even a trip for a bottle of milk is a prospective friend making experience. However you need to strike a balance because you don't want to look desperate nor a grinning loon! It's hard to accept that you cannot do x,y or z but once you accept that, it frees you up to try lots of new things.Only you can do it, try & take those first steps - 2013 could turn into a brilliant year for you. Hope so x

  • You say you have work colleagues but you are too tired to go out with them. Why not arrange a gilry night in every couple of weeks or so. Just an idea hun xxxx

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