Do you feel like a side show at times ? , when i need to use my stick people are nice and open doors etc but i can see it in their faces ....Pity. But i don't want pity i want understanding and to be treated the same as everyone else. People often think i'm rude as when they talk to me i can't always retain what they are saying even tho they have just said it, and i'm always asking them to repeat it so i'm a quieter person these days and hide from social things unless it's family, I put on an act but inside i'm scared and worry i will look stupid- i don't mind infront of family as they understand and we often joke about it. I can't work and haven't for 2 years and i miss the interaction yet know i wouldn't cope with it now.
I get no help from financialy and rely on my partner but we manage. I get soooo frustrated as i know some people think i'm lazy but rather than ask why i don't work grrrr.
I do have friends but i keep them at a distance so i don't let them down all the time and thankfuly they understand.
I'm on diazapham and trammadol as i have put my back out and i hate being spaced out although it does amuse Phoebe and Paul,
I live with pain and fatigue every day and i'm sick of it yet i manage to just get on with it i guess it's due to having been in pain since i was 11 from one thing or another.
Sorry i'm just moaning but feel i need to unload.
I do not believe in God but i do believe fate as given me these problems as it believes i'm strong enough and if i don't believe that i would wither away. I have many coping strategies , please share me with yours ?? xxx