Frustration overload

Do you feel like a side show at times ? , when i need to use my stick people are nice and open doors etc but i can see it in their faces ....Pity. But i don't want pity i want understanding and to be treated the same as everyone else. People often think i'm rude as when they talk to me i can't always retain what they are saying even tho they have just said it, and i'm always asking them to repeat it so i'm a quieter person these days and hide from social things unless it's family, I put on an act but inside i'm scared and worry i will look stupid- i don't mind infront of family as they understand and we often joke about it. I can't work and haven't for 2 years and i miss the interaction yet know i wouldn't cope with it now.

I get no help from financialy and rely on my partner but we manage. I get soooo frustrated as i know some people think i'm lazy but rather than ask why i don't work grrrr.

I do have friends but i keep them at a distance so i don't let them down all the time and thankfuly they understand.

I'm on diazapham and trammadol as i have put my back out and i hate being spaced out although it does amuse Phoebe and Paul,

I live with pain and fatigue every day and i'm sick of it yet i manage to just get on with it i guess it's due to having been in pain since i was 11 from one thing or another.

Sorry i'm just moaning but feel i need to unload.

I do not believe in God but i do believe fate as given me these problems as it believes i'm strong enough and if i don't believe that i would wither away. I have many coping strategies , please share me with yours ?? xxx

14 Replies

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  • i use laughter and helping anyone that needs any form of help to distract me from me.

    itsnot working too we;; at the mo am drowning in pain stress and depression. petal

  • Hi honey i too use laughter and as at the moment it isn't helping as i have put my back out. But I'm lucky as i'm not bed ridden or in a wheelchair,and for the most part i look like any normal person ( ok not when using walking stick). I stay as active as possible by pottering in the house i walk my dog sometimes as far as 6 miles (granted i work up to it) Wednesdays kill me with pain and fatigue as it's shopping day. Having my routine has helped so much. Last year i took a large overdose as i felt i was of no use to anyone and felt my loved ones would be better if they didn't have to care for me, thankfully my partner Paul found me and got me to hospital and resulted in therapy for both of us which did us the world of good.

    Please don't weaken like me, life is still worth living even if it's with pain and stress, their are ways to get through it but every body's id different , don't lose faith honey xxx

  • Rachie - I do know what you mean. we were thinking of going to Alton Towers tomorrow ... but they don't hire out mobility scooters and I just couldn't stand the thought of being pushed around in a wheel chair. So I'm staying at home looking after the baby!

    I try to remember things to be glad about but I really need a good cry - but that is something I've not been able to do since my 2nd husband walked out on me.

    Fibro, the tiredness, the pain, the poor stamina all make life incredibly arduous don't they?

    Tomorrows another day :-) , I haven't given up the hope and expectation of having good days ... well not yet anyway.

    Julie xx

  • I think you should say 'this is my life.....this is me' sit in the damn wheelchair and have a great time. I'm fat....but you know what.....i've only got this one life. This is it! Most people are too busy living their lives to think about yours. Fibro takes a lot away from you....DONT LET IT TAKE AWAY YOUR PLEASURE IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD. Go enjoy.

  • I think you should say 'this is my life.....this is me' sit in the damn wheelchair and have a great time. I'm fat....but you know what.....i've only got this one life. This is it! Most people are too busy living their lives to think about yours. Fibro takes a lot away from you....DONT LET IT TAKE AWAY YOUR PLEASURE IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD. Go enjoy.

  • I think you should say 'this is my life.....this is me' sit in the damn wheelchair and have a great time. I'm fat....but you know what.....i've only got this one life. This is it! Most people are too busy living their lives to think about yours. Fibro takes a lot away from you....DONT LET IT TAKE AWAY YOUR PLEASURE IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD. Go enjoy.

  • Whoops! Sorry. Button overload! Hahahaha!

  • Oh and thier was me thinking that you thought i was just stupid hehehe xx

  • Thanks guys and for the best part i do accept it's my life but just every now and then it gets me down.xxx

  • CAT53 and they say the rish repeat things twice roflmao petal

  • Personally, I don't give two tinker's curses or a monkey's whistle what people think of me!

    I know I'm not lazy, so I don't care if they think I am.

    I don't care if they think I'm a crazy old bat - I know I am, and I'm proud of it.

    We are not alone in our pain,and must get out there and do the best we can, and be as happy as we can. Everyone has crosses to bear in life, and to be honest, most folks are too busy worrying about their own stuff to give a dam' about yours and mine.

    Some people are just plain nasty, but they're in the minority and you should just give them the most superior, most snooty look you can manage.

    This requires a lot of practice so start TODAY!

    When life really gets you down, kick the cat ........ NOOO! Don't do that, it's cruel. Find a politician or a benefits official and kick them instead, then everyone's a winner xxx

  • I love the opening paraghraph made me smile, those few friends i have do have are understanding which i love them for it those that don't i keep my distance and put my energies to those that bother to understand.

  • Just read these posts, I've posted blog about my time recently using a wheelchair, maybe you might like my universal idea, hope so. Don't let anyone stop you going out, enjoy life, ignore the ignorant.

    regards, sandra.

  • HI honey, i have to say i fear the wheelchair which is daft i know but i hate using my stick but if it came to i would suck it up and deal with it i will find your post and have a read, I have hurt my back at the mo and the pain is so bad but back at docs today so see what he says as the trammadol aint working i fear it's my discs again. Having had a partial discectomy already i do not want another one. Sorrry gone of track but i tend to do that a lot hehe. Take care xx

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