Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Petulant ?????

Ok so short of it is i had to drive a 2 hours up to Cardiff to drop Phoebe of with her father last night and 2 hours back but because my Paul thinks it's too much he asked his dad to come with so if and i stress if i need him to he can take over but the catch he can't see in the dark very well so he is fond of telling us. He arrives and whisks us off without a chance to say bye to Paul and Phoebe was so nervous about being away in a new place for Christmas anyway he drove up which i was fine with as it was light to start but he scares me he gets up really close to the car in front before over taking and he drove fast now we are on a budget so need the £50 to last till next friday to go get her, anyway i divert from my point. We got their and did to hand over and it hit me i wasn't going to have her for Christmas but i looked to the silver lining and that was that i had rested and saved my spoons so i could enjoy the drive back and i know it sounds stupid but i was really looking forward to it as i only drive locally. Well what happened next made my blood boil i asked for the keys and he said no he was driving so i stood my ground and so no i am at which point he said in a not to nice tone that he was fine and he would drive and got into the drivers side. I was gobsmaked he then told me he wasn't a good passenger which on reflection is total b******s because for nearly 2 years he hasn't driven due to problems with his eyes which are better but not fully so in that 2 years he was ferried around by friends and family sometimes going on long haul journeys with mates in their trucks. So i sat thier fuming and text Paul to say what had happened and he says oh well sit back and relax. RELAX, relax how i was seething with anger so then a very long text argument ensued and i was told i was selfish and acting like a petulant child. I was hurt to the core and even now i have tears thinking about it.

I know it's just a drive and i should be grateful to have people their to help but why is it always on their terms, i have little independance as it is and feel like i'm treated like a child or handicapped. Dont get me wrong i am grateful but i feel i should have the right to make my own decisions not have them taken away from me if people want to help then wait till i ask! surely. To be told i am not normal and will never work or do the drive on my own and that's just tough i feel so oh i don't know i just know i am fed up with not being equal. I am extremly grateful about the support i get but why should i have to pay a price. I'm not a child i'm 34 and equal!!!!!

EDITED BY ADMIN - We have edited a swear word using asterisks because swearing is not permitted in accordance with our Guidelines and also could cause offence to some members.

3 Replies

Hi Rachie

How sad that you were looking forward to something and lost out through someone else's 'kindness'. It is difficult sometimes to be able to feel and show appreciation for the thought, while still feeling miffed by the action. I would have felt the same, especially as he does so little driving, and his driving style doesn't sound relaxing at all. And at a time when you could have done with more emotional support, rather than less, I really feel for you. I hope you can put it behind you, for your own sake, and still enjoy your Christmas.



Next time I think I would make the point that you don't make a very good 'back seat driver' either and that driving home would help take your mind off how you're feeling about leaving your daughter behind in Cardiff.


Thank you ladies. I'm going to pick her up on my own. I explained to Paul again when i wasn't emotional and he understands so now i'm really looking forward to picking her up and having her sat next to me and we can have our music on and sing away ( terribly hehe ), and her chatting away about her Christmas. Plus he has agreed it would do me good to have a part time job mainly for my mental needs. They are the best Christmas presents :) xxx


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