Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Being POSITIVE [still] family get together today

Being POSITIVE [still] family get together today

I am off to a family get together today - 3 of my brothers and 1 of my sisters at my Mum's. It is nearly the anniversary of my Dad's death,(2007) and we are going to honour my Dad at his grave. It is a cultural tradition [my Dad was from Hong Kong].

The picture I attach today - is one that I took of my Dad in 1990 when I went to the family home in Hong Kong for the first and only time. He is in the courtyard of the house and I am outside. I imagine that he is in the next room wherever I am, and that he is always with me.

I can still talk to him whenever I like - and he was always a very quiet man, so sometimes he just doesn't speak back, but he shows his love in so many other ways. I know he is at peace, and was ready to go when the cancer stopped him being able to live his normal life.

I know my Dad's death could have been one of the main triggers of my fibromyalgia, and now I accept that his loss was so devastating for me and my Mum and the rest of the family, but it was right for him. I take solace in knowing he is always with me ..... he's in the courtyard, quiet and dignified forever. xx

2 Replies

Hi suzy sparkle,

I wrote a lovely long reply this morning whilst at football with my daughter i was sat in the car, then it kept saying ohps and i had to do on my I phone too so took me longer :-/

Anyways.... I think it is lovely to have get togethers as some do not get together as much when loved ones go (my family is an example of this now unfortunaltely) I still have a lot of thoughts for my family but since we lost our loved ones in 2008 which there wwere 5 losses in space of 6 weeks one after another like Dominos it was unbelievable.

well i believe that making an album and putting on view in the house somewhere and a candle and a flower for anyone too look at and ask questions as after all any photos and memorys we have in our hearts is what we keep and what we share after wards and still continue years on.

i personaly light candles on each ones special Anniversary and bdays etc, i will openly talk about things and in any general conversation to family members and outsiders that knew them i talk too.

everyone deals with losses in different ways, i was just on a role and doing well with my little solo business i set up and had no time for anything else, was eat sleep breath work and always got told off at home, then all of a sudden this happens, 2009 i went away a few times on short breaks and often had the odd grump off customers but it was my way of dealing with it and the family did drift because the ones lost were the main trunk that connected us all and whats left over is now all over the place, it is such a shame. we all still chat and remember things but as for the get to gethers we used to have this does not happen now. all moved on.

Then 2010 i had an operation and since that operation everything went down hill for me one thing after another with my health its been fire and now the after math as this will never go away and i have to learn to live and cope along with the family which they do great helping out,

Who knows what sets off our problems with our health but we get asked if we had accidents and traumas (personaly mine was a very traumatic experience with the operation)

Got to live for today and not think about whats ahead or we could explode even more as much as we may want to know what to expect to know how to deal with it, so this site is brilliant for help off others who are experienceing what we have so those that have had for many many years can help by giving their advice on how they coped.

and what i am doing as much as quite a bit about me is sharing with your how i dealt with losses and how i coped by keeping busy busy and it really really helped or i think i would of gone into deep depression and probably drank too! but i had customers and i picked my self up and carried on and like wise with the family they kept busy because i said keep going keep going you can grieve at home and it is when your alone you think,mine was when i finished work and got home in the car i would just crack up, then wipe up and go inside and see my family, trying to be so strong.

the pic is lovely and a very treasurable memory you hold there , hope your get together shares lots of laughters of your Dad and things he used to do and talk about your own things as he be watching over , you always know as you get little signs in one way or another :-)

have you ever done a 'talk board' with a proper Medium?? its out of this world (not weeji) dunno how to spell eek.. i very skeptical and hmmmmm nahhh not do it for me but this was different as you asked your quesions within your self and not out loud thats the secret and everyones hands on the glass and you can ask things to be spelt out they have no idea what your asking it took my breath away. but who knows.. i got answers and feel more settled .

lots of love and huggles xx cazzie xx


Thank you so much for sharing your experiences :-) xx

I am so pleased that we still get together now - when my Dad was alive it was because we were all Dad's children. Half from his first marriage - but it is lovely that we still celebrate my Dad even though he isn't with us and we keep the relationships alive even though he isn't there. It was difficult at first, thinking there was someone missing - but now he is always there in my heart and in our memories and thoughts. We talk about lots of things about then and now ... we sorted out Christmas today. I am having Mum [we have to share it out 1:3] and the family get together at my brothers house - much to his fiancee's surprise!!!


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