I swear i'm going mad i get these real highs and feel on top of the world and then the next day i'm so low it's unbearable, it is becoming more frequent, my Paul is struggling to deal with it and i fear it could tear us apart. I think i would rather just have pain, i find it so difficult to keep my track of thought in busy areas and found yesterday so hard when trying to talk to Paul while we were in a shop because he kept moving round and i would lose my train of thought and therfore frustrated Him as well as me and it caused such tension between us. I find it difficult to hear if there is a lot of background noise or if too many people are talking at the same times that i end up Phasing out ,thankfully Paul can see what's happening and understands but i know i must seem so rude to people.
This bull about it not being a progressive syndrome because i have definatly become worse mentally and pain was as the years pass. Sometimes i feel like i just want to walk away somewhere with no noise and somewhere i can float and not be a burden to any one.
A severly overwhelmed Rachel xxxx