not coping anymore....: I am really... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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not coping anymore....

molkosmissus profile image
16 Replies

I am really strugling...have absoloutly no money to live on...cnt work anymore (can barley deal with small ammount i have) to EARN money....i am self employed...applied for dla...they said no...now have to find strenght from somewhere to appeal...kp gettin v emotional...crying easily..then i am ok again...always sore...always multiple places...manageable pain i guess...painkillers dnt really work but do take em sometimes....pain gel too...just fl like.everything is a total.fight/struggle.cos...well....it.is! tryin to be a mum..a girlfriend..a friend...run a business...wow...just so hard xx

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molkosmissus profile image
molkosmissus
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16 Replies
fairytails profile image
fairytails

i know everything is a struggle but you have to fight on and appeal appeal appeal! i have been turned down and the man from the dla said to write a letter to them with exactly everything i was feeling and i did not like and official letter just a crying begging letter for help ( dont be proud either ) they will reopen your case believe me ! you are stronger than you think hunnie you have coped so far and as a woman which i believe we have more strength than men yourl do it ! write the letter what have you got to lose ? and if anything you have let off steam in a letter ? lots of hugs xxxalexandra

molkosmissus profile image
molkosmissus

thanks...im defo gonna appeal...x

ladymoth profile image
ladymoth

So sorry that you are feeling so bad.

If you have no money, then even if you're not eligible for DLA, you will definitely be entitled to benefits of some kind.

The best thing to do is to go to Citizens Advice Bureau, as they are experts on benefits. Let them take the weight off your shoulders, and do it NOW so that you won't have so many worries. Your pain will be much easier to cope with once you have sorted yourself financially.

I really do know how you feel, having been in exactly the same position, but you WILL survive.

Take this one step at a time, and don't try to be all things to all people. You need to put yourself and your children first at all times, and if your boyfriend is worth having he will understand and try to help you.

Now - go and make a cup of tea, and dry your eyes ... you will be OK, 'cos Auntie Moffy says so!

Seriously, I hope this is useful. You need help so don't be afraid to ask the experts.

Very Best Wishes ... Moffy x

goldwing profile image
goldwing

We all know how hard it is, I get low rate dla and have had for a few years but I get angry when I hear people getting Middle and high rate and you see them doing lots of things you can't do. I decided I will not give in this time as I have in past because I didn't have the strength to fight for dla.

Reading blogs on here and knowing I am not alone, has really helped, Having to struggle like you are, makes you more depressed, then that makes fibro worse, but don't give up . Talk to your friends and your boyfriend and tell them how you feel, maybe they can help you fill in your forms and help get advice for you.

Some say to go to Welfare rights or Citizens advise, for help to complete the forms because it matters how things are worded. I have asked for a reconsideration so I'm on another 11 week wait but I'm going to go to CAB if I need to appeal.

You may be entitled to ESA or Tax credits, see if you can get appointment with WR or CAB and ask your friend to go with you, as all the info can be confusing and with the fibro fog its easy to forget something they say.

Keep your spirits up, you are not alone, good luck xxxx

NordicNavajo profile image
NordicNavajo in reply to goldwing

Hi Goldwing, me too on low level DLA after being refused by appeal and went to tribunal. I had no representation as told CAB too buzy but they helped look at my statements for tribunal. I now have a welfare rights CAB worker, and their knowledge is far higher than ordinary caseworkers. Im still waiting for DLA tribunal notes but am prepared to challenge them on a point of law, as thats the only avenue open after tribunal. Good luck to you in your quest for justice, and yes keep up that fight and dont let them win.

Warm thoughts NN :)

Sorry to hear about problems, I agree with goldwing that you need professional support from CAB and/or welfare counsellor. Search out for one locally via CAB if you don't already have one. Also can you get referrred by GP for any counselling? It won't solve the money issue but will be somewhere that you can share the feelings, have space and maybe come up with some solutions. Good luck.

I am sending you a HUGE GENTLE HUG...

Can you talk to your GP and get some support there... And yes Appeal.. oh it so upsets me when its a fight to get whats right. I hope you have a better tomorrow.

xxx

i worry that your gonna end up even worse with the added stress.dont try and take on too much at once.the worry will still be there,spend some quality time just in bath maybe light some candles..

can you not seek legal help either free?you must be able to get some help somewhere.also might be of some help by contacting your local m.p

we have and hes backing us all the way?gentle hugs coming yre way..x

louiseelcross profile image
louiseelcross

seek legal help to help with your appeal. They will do everything for you and will do it over the phone. Also welfare rights are very good at helping with appeals. Good luck. x

NordicNavajo profile image
NordicNavajo

Hi

I am self employed after losing my job to fibro. I started my business early 2011 before i got really sick. I am a single mum of a disabled boy (autistic) and I at present fall into the working tax credit bracket. Have you tried to get that? It will depend on household income, so if partner earns a real good wage then it may not be right for you, but you will be surprised how many folk dont know they can get it.

Re: DLA, keep fighting. Have you been to appeal or tribunal yet? I have been through both and still only get low level care and 0 mobility. I am about to take legal action re GP statement and apply on a point of law to get the tribunal decision looked at again. The tribunal took 10 months and ive waited a further 3 for the notes before I can take legal action. I have a welfare worker from the CAB and will see them next week. They are more experienced in benefit issues that ordinary CAB workers. I would suggest you try and see one. Phone your local CAB and ask for a welfare worker appointment.

Just a few ideas.

Lots of warm thoughts ;) NN

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b in reply to NordicNavajo

hi nn does your son get dla?

my friend's daughter gets care but no car, yet my neighbours' son gets both.

regards,

sandra.

NordicNavajo profile image
NordicNavajo in reply to hamble99b

Hi

He gets care and no level mobility, so no car. If a child is autistic it is almost impossible to get a higher mobility rate as DWP have changed goal posts recently!

cheers NN :)

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b in reply to NordicNavajo

they fought for nearly two years and got it in late february.

sandra

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b in reply to hamble99b

he's 6

NordicNavajo profile image
NordicNavajo in reply to hamble99b

Thats brill, it took me until 13 to get anything for my son including a school! good to hear a success story!

:) NN

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b

hi molkosmissus, appeal the dla, ask admin for the benefits and work info.

ask away and if anyone can help they will.

regards,

sandra.

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