Ups and Downs

[SootyB]

What a funny week this is turning out to be! Following my 'Is it Friday yet?' blog yesterday, I had a nice email from my boss' boss, thanking and congratulating on a minor piece of work, which was very nice! Today, I get an email from my boss about something unpleasant that I thought was dead and buried.

Basically, in June 2011, I was told that someone (likely a colleague, under the circumstances) had made an anonymous complaint to our regulatory body about 'odd goings on' involving me. They've spent all this time investigating what the hell this complaint could relate to, roping my boss (and many bosses upwards in the chain) in to the investigation process, and forcing my boss to put me through 'capability counselling' - basically to see if I am incompetent.

Last month, I finally went through the last stage of this, with an external professional coming in and watching me do a specialist clinic, and saying that there was no issue with either my clinical skills, or professional knowledge. I had the letter from my boss saying that all hoops had been jumped through, and I was now officially competent, as even she had known in the first place.

Today, I get an email from her saying that the professional body have contacted her AGAIN with queries! I don't know if it's just tying up loose ends, but frankly, I pay these people over £70 a year, and have been pretty good at my job for 11 years now, without a blemish. I'm not saying I'm perfect - I'm human, for heaven's sake - but I don't expect to be investigated for over 12 months on the basis of an extremely vague, anonymous complaint, which I suspect was made by a member of the team who has been attempting to get me on a disciplinary since she started working here 8 years ago (and has nearly succeeded several times, just not to this extent). By this example, I could complain about anyone I took a dislike to, and ruin their career!

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I'm looking for other jobs, outside of my current profession - I may decide ultimately not to move (I may not have the skills to, either), but I feel disillusioned by everything that I used to believe in, and I think that the patients deserve more than I may have to offer them, once this place has finished trampling over my self-esteem.

Sorry to be such a moaner, folks - I'm not normally like this, and I'm sure it will pass. Gentle hugs to all. xx

[Keeleysnana]

So sorry to hear the hell you have been going through for so long, i can only imagine what this stress has been doing to your fibro, it really still shocks you just how vicious and vindictive some people can be- it really makes you wonder how they managed to get their jobs. All i can say is good for you on staying strong through all of this, it would be a shame for you to leave after all you have gone through but i wish you luck in whatever you do- there should be more people like you around, sending you hugs from tracey x

[SootyB in reply to Keeleysnana]

Thanks, Tracey - gentle hugs to you! I'm afraid that morale is so low where I work that the spirit of 'team' is pretty much non-existent. The person in question is worse than most, but she's far from the only one making trouble out of nothing. It's sad to think that, when I first started here - 10 years ago - everyone was so supportive of each other. Now, everywhere I go, I find myself listening to someone b*tching about someone else!

Sara xx

[Keeleysnana]

Its like that where i work, think they should make stab-proof vests part of the uniform! I work 9hr shifts in a residential care home but crawl home in pain every day- not sure how long i can carry on to be fair xx

[hamble99b]

It's awful when things like this happen, but there will be a moment soon when it dawns on you how much good has come from what this person has failed to do - I am not belittling how you feel, you have been proven to be doing a good job, what have they got besides bitterness and probably jealousy? I know that if I needed to see someone, them or you, there would only be one choice every time. You are a winner and your employers would be fools to let you go. keep that letter and keep believing in yourself, you do not know me, but I am proud of you.

respect, sandra.

[Sthandra]

I agree with Sandra your worth ten off whoever thi small minded petty person is hold your head up high gentle hugs. Sithy