HOW TO BE HAPPY!

[phlebo123]

Just read an article called "How to be happy" - it related so much to me and my FM - and how I deal with it - Thought I would share it with you in an abbreviated form ---

1) BE REALISTIC - Being happy is an emotion. We can't will it into existence just by wanting to feel it. Happiness is a by-product of what we do.

2) SIMPLE PLEASURES - Recognise what gives you pleasure and make time for it - go for a walk, spend an evening with friends or simply stop and stand in your garden. And if going to the gym makes you miserable, then don't go!

3) FINDING A BALANCE - Recognise that we all need to achieve a work/family/leisure time balance.

4) KNOW THE ENEMY - If you want to be happy, try to identify the conditions that make you feel the opposite and try to avoid them. When we feel happy, we're saying to ourselves that we feel safe and comfortable in our surroundings - the opposite of feeling frightened.

5) ACCEPT YOURSELF - If we are to be happy, we must first learn to like, value and care for ourselves. This is easy to say and HARD to do - but learn to accept yourself and the rest will follow.

6) JUDGE YOURSELF FAIRLY - Don't judge yourself more harshly than you would anyone else and stop listening to the inner critic that says you are unworthy. If someone compliments you then accept it gratefully.

7) LET GO OF GUILT - Society encourages us to think that we are not good enough. There always has to be someone to blame if things go wrong. Accept it didn't work out, don't dwell on it and move on!

8) RELAX AROUND OTHERS - If all you are thinking about is whether someone likes you or not, it's impossible to pay full attention to them. Stop worrying and start listening - chances are they feel the same as you!

Although this list may sound quite simple -- life is never SIMPLE and it helps me to cope with my FM by trying to apply the above list to the way I approach life every day.

[Hidden]

Great list makes a lot of sense to me as well xxx

[beth2]

makes sense to me aswell love bethx

[soulsusie]

Love it!!!! x x

[pottydog]

Nice to be reminded, things can get so lost in the fog!

[scrumie]

Hi I to can relate to the list its quite true but sometimes easier said than done. Going to print it out and put on fridge door. Thanks soft hugs Marg xx

[Ginsing]

I have read the list with interest some of the items are quite difficult : acceptance I find it terribly hard to accept that I cannot do things that I used to do easily and now have to consider if I can - can I stand - can I hold - can I jump ; etc

Being Happy to me is about making others Happy not necessarily by amusing them but doing thing for them- offering to help and constantly being rejected I can still help ! I have a lot of love to give to others and I listen well - that makes me Happy .

So where am I - burbling _ - _ I shall stop now Laughing my way I wish I had never started this one hehe ta x gins

[Boronia]

Nice list and a good reminder. I agree with you Gins...acceptance of the loss of a previous life and the person you were is very very challenging. Sometimes I have lots of hope that I can feel better but some days I lose that too! I think that we are all grieving for our losses and for what we once had. Grief is a very difficult process and for us it is not clear cut as sometimes we are better then-here we go again-worse. No wonder many of us are told we are depressed! Having said that, I do think that sometimes happiness can be a choice....deciding if something is really important or not, deliberately practising gratitude, giving as much as you can even if that's just a phone call. Would love to hear if anyone else could add to that list cos I'd love more ideas to try. I saw an interesting book "How to be Sick" which according to the author Toni Bernhard " is a uniquely practical guide for learning how to treat yourself with compassion and how to live with grace and purpose despite chronic pain or illness. " Sounds interesting....think I might buy it. ( Toniburnhard. com