Fibromyalgia Action UK

Are we our own worst enemies?

I've been pondering this a lot lately. I keep wanting to try new things but then I lose my confidence,it's driving me mad and also my daughter has mentioned it. She said to me the other day " if you don't try doing things how will you ever know?" I mean I thought I couldn't loose weight with fibro and I've lost not far off 4 stone. I didn't think I could go to the gym and now I'm doing 40 mins twice a week. Now I'm pondering getting back to work but I am so damn scared. Last weekend I drove too far with no breaks and ended up with the most horrendous migraine and then a panic attack. I'm not in a hurry to repeat that. Tomorrow I've booked in for a taster session at a dog grooming training school but now I'm thinking how the hell am I going to sit there for four hours let alone do all the training. Am I in cloud cuckoo land? I do really need to start working again,I used to have my own florist shop but that's when I got unwell with fibro and I'm so scared of going backwards. I adore dogs,I have 4 and I would love to work with them. I've just volunteered as a dog walker at my local rescue centre just once a week just to build up my confidence again in working for people without any major commitment. I walk my dogs fine now,this time last year I needed a walking stick or a mobility scooter but now I don't need either because of my weight loss. I still am in a lot of pain but I try to carry on until it floors me as happened at the weekend. I am guilty of trying to push myself too hard and then my body shuts down. Should I just cancel the dog grooming thing,let's face it would I realistically be able to do it? Is it fear that makes the pain worse or am I pushing myself too much? It's a 35 minute drive to the training school,I have to walk my dogs first,then drive there,it starts at ten goes on until mid afternoon then I've got to drive home again. I suppose I could try and go and if I feel too unwell I will have to come home but at least I will have tried. Have lost my confidence so much but hardly surprising really,guess a lot of us feel like that?

8 Replies

hun you wont know until you try im now starting off with a few hours on a sat at saturday school for dyslexic children but im hoping to get back into becoming a teaching assistant again as long as you are honest with them and they know that you have good and bad days they will understand and help you all they can just do what you can also make it clear to them how you feel thats what i do as i stress myself out about everything but as long as i say how i feel it makes it easier some are more understanding than others but your starting from scratch and need to know what you can do try and stay positive hun its great that you are doing things to help yourself keep doing it its hard i know i have very little confidence and worry and stress over everything but i know its me not anyone else its my thoughts just go into it with an open mind and be realistic with yourself if its too much see if you can do the training in smaller sections or just learn as you go i wish you all the best hun xx


Hi Tedysmum congratulations on all that you have achieved your weight loss is fantastic-I need to loose weight so badly but my appetite is enourmous and I lack will power. If I where you I would give tomorrow a go if you dont you will always wonder if you could have done it. If its too much then you will have to rest up but at least you will have tried. Anyway whatever you decide I hope you have a good day. Sue xx


Hello teddysmum I admire tour courage, you will have been listening to your body and pacing yourself and you have come so far, I think you owe it to yourself to go along to the taster session tomorrow, otherwise you will never know.

Try it and let us know.


Sue x x x


Hi Teddysmum, welldone at losing all that weight that's an amazing achievement and you deserve to give yourself a chance at a wonderful career opportunity in Dog Grooming, i live and breathe dogs i used to be a veterinary nurse and have considered Dog Grooming as a possible Career path in the future. Go for it!!!! Love and Hugs Della xxxx


Hello Teddysmum :-)

Massive congrats on your achievements thus far. I think you should give it a go, explain to the lecturer that sometimes you may have to stand up as you cannot sit for long periods of time and sit to the side or near the back so you don't distract the others. The lecturer will be fine with it. Pacing. Hmmm pushing yourself until you flake out is not good pacing, you need to know to stop before you get to that point.

I am sure that after what you have managed to achieve already you will manage this taster course as well and as the others have said you will then have an idea of what you would be.dealing with as a job/career option. If it is something you really enjoy and want to do perhaps a local grooming parlour would take you in on a part-time basis? Where there's a will there's a way :-)

Wishing you the very best

Mel xxx


You have done so well congrats, if you feel tired or in pain go home ! Then you The know you tried but by the look of things you are a achiever.

I am going to diet and then exercise and you have proved to me it can be done with health improvements...

hug soft hugs well done girl xxx



I think it's totally normal to lose your confidence when you have to stop working, particularly when it's because of Fibro which affects so many aspects of your life.

I have also heard it theorised that the low dopamine associated with Fibro contributes towards low motivation. This is proven in research, but totally makes sense from the scientific point of view as it is dopamine that helps provide the feeling of satisfaction.

Have fun tomorrow!


Thank you for all your lovely replies! Lindsey what you said about the lack of dopemine,that totally makes sense as motivation and satisfaction are so hard to come by although since starting at the gym it's started to come back,maybe exercise boosts that particular chemical? I know it boosts serotonin.

I've been reading a forum on dog grooming I honestly think it's non realistic for me to do,it's incredibly expensive,the course and the start up costs,how could I risk all that money? I would only be able to do little dogs lol wouldn't be able to fight with the big ones. I'm so full of big ideas at the mo,one minute I want to do hypnotherapy,then decide I can't,then I want to do stress management and I start the courses and decide I don't like it after all. I've thought of becoming a proper counsellor but then got scared I couldn't cope even though my own counsellor says I would be great at it(I'm not convinced). I'm certainly not ready to do it yet and time is running out for me(I'm 44 no spring chicken anymore). Infact I think I may be having a mid life crisis on top of the fibro. If I can't do my floristry anymore how could I be a dog groomer???? So I'm back to setting up as a dog walker,as walking I can do as long as they aren't dogs that pull your arms off. I need to settle to something as I'm driving my kids crazy!!!! I guess I've lost all sense of direction but one thing I do know and that is I do want to work with dogs!! Della we are kindred spirits :)


You may also like...