really horrendous day

had no sleep and just in major pain and wondering where i went wrong.......

started yesterday in pain so decided to have a pj day watching disney films so far so good, sons were going out to aunties for tea so nice and peaceful afternoon or so i thought except oldest kicked off again so i went to cinema with my niece and sister in law, this was fun but uncomfortable as im sure most of u will know sitting squished in those seats for 2 hours so nice and chilled i went home to find oldest had locked his dad out when he had gone to shop and was claiming that he had squatters rights so very stressful especially as his dad still on crutches from hip op, so police called and finally got in to find he had took overdose of my tablets as he had broken into my locked medicine cabinet, then he somehow managed to slip past police and disappeared so even more stressful trying to find him. eventually he was found and taken to hospital where now he is 16 he has refused to have me or his dad there or contacted as next of kin so needless to say no sleep so in intense pain today and wondering what i did so wrong in the 16 years ive tried my hardest to bring him up

sorry i know this isnt really wot this forum is for i just feel like i can vent on here please delete post if u think its inappropriate i will understand

anita x

5 Replies

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  • hi anita, you havn't gone wrong huni honestly!

    I have 3 sons 2624& 11 all 3 have 'issues' I had to put my then 16yr old now 24 into a supported hostel as i could take any more of his bad behaviour/cry for attention/help! my eldest has bi-polar1, the middle one has mental health/ behavioral issues - these 2 were diagnosed as haveing tourettes in their earlier yrs. then having been on the change at 24 & thinking 10 yrs on it was impossible to have another found i was pregnant with my now 11 yr old which nearly killed me and him off, causing brain damage and autism.....i struggled for yrs holding down jobs and the home my health has suffered beyond my wildest dreams.

    but I have learnt that through all this and a lot of input from variuos agencies that there are some children who despite what you do for them, will always be in the middle of something. all you can do is listen to them offer help where appropriate if they choose to listen or take the help that is their choice ultimately sometimes as a parent all we can do is wait in the 'wings' untill they are ready to except our help, home rules and respect us as parents and the more they are able to pull our chains the more they will take from us and ause worry. s0metimes the tuff love is the best love - for me it worked this last 6mths i didnot phone him or bail him out or chase after him at every turn. obviously i cant say this is the right way or that it will work for everyone but after my own chidren ,working with barnardos and social services as a carer and giving respite for families you never stop worrying but sometimes taking time out from them is sometimes the best. my youndest lives with his dad because of my health which makes my heart ache for him to be with me but i know its the best place for him

    I hope my story helps you to realise its nothing your doing and you will be able to find some comfort that there are ways and help out there that will suit your family

    hugs and love poppy xx

  • oh my goodness both of you have had such a lot to deal with ,

    but to you wanita ,what a stressful day no one wonder you are in pain ,and you vent all you like ,my heart goes out to you ,lots of gentle hugs to you xxxx

  • Have had the same kind of problems with my youngest daughter in the past, but thankfully she is now settled down (at 17 yrs) I feel for you and hope everything goes well for you in the future

  • omg how do you cope , i feel for you sending hugs xxxxxxx

  • My heart goes out to you both Wanita and Poppy xx love and hugs x

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