Depressed and no luck at the docs. :( - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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Depressed and no luck at the docs. :(

jazher profile image
41 Replies

Hi everyone,

I have been to the docs today as i have been depressed. I am a nightmare to live with and i just find it so hard to laugh and smile. I have been through so much and i have never felt like this before. Well it took so much to tell my gp and she has said that i am taking amitriplyn at night and that was a antidepressant and she is not giving me anything else. I cant believe it. She has put my amis up to 100mg a night but i dont think thats going to work. She has recommended cbt which it helped with my anxiety, but i really dont want to have to tell people evn my partner as i am just not strong enough to deal with their comments right now.

Does anybody else take amitriplyn and any other anti depressant for depression?

Sorry about the longone, i really feel low at the minute.

hugs, kel xxx

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41 Replies
squires profile image
squires

Hi Kel can't be very good for you at the moment. I am lucky i havent suffered from depression. My daughter has and I could see how badly it was effecting her life and her job. Luckily she did go and talk to the doctor about it and he gave her some antidepressants to try. She has felt a lot better and I now see a much happier person. How long have you got to take the 100 mg for. Could you possibly try it for a while and then go back and see you dr and ask her for a different one. Or if you are really sure it isn't going to work go see a different doctor at your practice. I hope things will get better for you soon and you get the help you need. Best wishes to you. Theresa x x

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to squires

Thankyou theresa, especially on how quick. :)

I just feel that i am sleep too much as it is so i think the amis just will make me into a zombie. I am hoping they work but its through the day i need something not at night.

I have been struggling for months and finally took the plunge today and i just find it so hard to get through the day as it is never mind in a couple of months. I hate being so angry with the people i love.

Thankyou again. hugs, kel xxx

fairylady profile image
fairylady

Hi Kel,

I am so sorry you are feeling like this and I do understand everything you have said I suffer with depression which can get really bad,

I am sorry your gp has not been very helpful

is it possible to see a different dr?

I am on anti depressants I am on deloxotine and mitazapine it took some sorting but I am stable ish

I do think you should see another dr if at all possible

If you need to chat then please get intouch

thiking of you hun

big gentle hugs xxxxxx

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to fairylady

Thankyou penny,

I am so pleased you are stablish. :)

It took that much to walk in and sit down and tell all and she hasnt done anything, that it has put me off going to anybody else. I am trying my best to hide it but i am doing a good job right now. I hate being this way.

Thankyou for the invite to talk hun. I am hoping a good few days back on here will do the trick lol. (i havent been on for awhile).

Thanks for the hugs. :)

hug back, kel xxxx

fairylady profile image
fairylady in reply to jazher

Well please dont bottle it up to much as that wont be good for you.and I hope being on here will help

and the offer stands anytime Kel

hugs

Penny xxx

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to fairylady

:) thankyou :) xxxxx

jazher profile image
jazher

Thankyou lynn. :)

I usually do surround myself with people who make me laugh, but its just not enough now. I have had a laugh with my sister in law this morning but still something inside was stopping me fully enjoying it. Its just so not like me. T he only thing different i have done lately is not being on here as much, and not being able to email my other friends. so hopefully talking to all you lovely people will help me. fingers crossed.

hugs, kel xxx

Oh Kel, Sorry to here you are feeling this way hun. I have in the past felt like this, and know how isolated it can feel, even with lots of people around.

If CBT helped with anxiety, maybe this is a route. Have a think about it hun, best to explore all routes

I would say, that if you can confide in someone,maybe someone out of the family, maybe a friend or have you any support groups in your areas. It may help, did for me.

I saw a counsellor, through my doctors, sometimes talking things through makes a difference.

I have only every taken amitriptylne, for pain.I am up to 75mg, Not sure if this helps with mood, guess only would know if I stopped.

Also if your unhappy with your GP or treatment, you could also speak to someone else in the practice.

Just take good care of your self, big gentle hugs, chat over the weekend hun

Lou x

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to

Thank you lou,

I just dont know exactly why i am feeling like this but i know its been comming for a long time. Ther are no support groups in my area, i have one good friend who inderstands but she is going through too much to bother her at the minute. I am hoping i will feel better soon as the only way is up right lol.

I will be chatting on here more as thats one thing i havent been doing this week and i think i am missing it.

thanks again, hug, kel xxx

in reply to jazher

Bless ya, so hard when other have things going on too. Well glad you are on here and I always happy to chat hun Lou x

jazher profile image
jazher

Haha, i hope thats what it is. :) xx

Cleaner profile image
Cleaner

Hi jazher , I'm so sorry your feeling like this I to suffer with depression and I no exactly how you are feeling. It's hard to do anything when things get bad you can't focus on having a laugh or being with any body. I am having cbt at the moment for anxiety and finding it very hard to concentrate becauce my anxiety and depression are taking hold. Sorry to go on I really hope it helps you and the amatriplyn will start to work. Thinking of you Margaret xx

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to Cleaner

Thankyou margaret. :)

Cbt helped my anxiety but i find it all stressful filling all the daily things in and them sheets everyweek plus the weekly appointments are just a right pain to get too as i cant go off my estate myself.

I have lots of concerntration issues, i cant even read a book to relax and i cant remember the last time i read a paper. When my partner talks about his day, i find i just dont listen.

You didnt go on, thankyou again margaret.

hugs, kel xxxx

Cleaner profile image
Cleaner in reply to jazher

I totally understand ware your comming from it is hard to go every week and like you said the paper work is just hard to concentrate on when you can't relax. Hugs to you to Kelly. Xxxxxxx

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to Cleaner

Margaret do you take any meds for it? xx

Cleaner profile image
Cleaner in reply to jazher

Yes I'm on 130mg doluxatine, 200mg pregabablin 200mg Trazadone

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to Cleaner

Thankyou margaret xxx

roxyroo profile image
roxyroo

Hi Jazher, sorry to here your having a rough time. I am on Amtriptyline 100mg at night for cronic migrains. 40mg citalapram for depression. 1200 Gabapentin for fibro. So yes she could have give you a antidepressant for during the day. Drs piss me off big time. Ive had depression for 16 yrs, so i know some of how your feeling. I still have down days. Remember hunni, we are all here for you. Big hug & loadsa love to you. Helen xx

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to roxyroo

Thankyou helen,

I knew i had seen on here that people take other meds aswell as amitriplyn. I am also on gabapentin 1800. I just wish i had spoken up to her but i will do as i am told and go back in 4 weeks. Maybe andrew might frog march me down demanding they do something as i am impossible to live with. I honestly just feel like crying, i am never like this. Suppose i just wanted a pill to take it away now, but nothing will do that, will it.

Thankyou again, big hugs back, kel xxxx

roxyroo profile image
roxyroo in reply to jazher

Your welcome hunni. My mood is up and down. Since ive been on the gabapentin its made my moods worse. Big hugs & loadsa love to you xx

SuzySparkle profile image
SuzySparkle

Hi jazher, I just wanted to add my support to you as I felt the things you describe as being so familiar to me. There are 2 things I have learnt that don't help - one is trying to hold it all in - and two is feelings of guilt. Depression is like a virus - and unless it is given an outlet it behaves like a poison affecting every part of your life. So cry, and cry lots - it is an emotional outlet. When I eventually told my GP I sat there and cried so hard it was hard to control it. Did the Dr go through the depression score with you? They should do that under NICE guidance. I think you can find a questionnaire on-line. I'll message you if I find a link. Go through it honestly yourself and take it to your GP. It could be a starting point. The Ami may work, but I understand that fibro means we don't produce enough serotonin and not sure that Ami works in the same way as some of the other antidepressants like citalopram do to block the reabsorption of serotonin..... heartfelt hugs and offering you a box (big one) of very soft tissues to cry your heart out - don't hold it in xx SuzySparkle *{}*

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to SuzySparkle

Hi suzysparkle,

Thankyou for you support, i really appreciate it. :)

I have sat down and thought about it today and she maybe is right and she justs wants to see how i go before putting me on more pills.

I will try the amis and see how i go and i will be on here everyday as i do think it helps so much.

I am a bugger for holding everything in though.

hugs, kel xxx

rosehip profile image
rosehip

HI , I SUFFERED SEVERE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY ON AND OFF FOR YEARS . MY WORSE TIME WAS LAST YEAR WHEN MY HUSBAND HAD 6 MONTHS OFF WORK WITH ME . I HAD THE CRISIS TEAM VISIT TWICE LAST JUNE . IF YOU WANT A CHAT I AM HERE FOR YOU . I LOST 2 STONE I WAS THAT BAD . HUGS XX

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to rosehip

Thankyou rosehip, you must of went through hell. Its so not fair is it.

Thankyou for your support and i love the fact that on here nobody judges anybody. :)

hugs, kel xxx

trisha64 profile image
trisha64

hi kell ,, im on amitryptiline and mirtazepine ,, as i am on highest dose of mirtazepine im not on increased amitryptiline ,, as you prob know i had a major meltdown the other week ,, now im not sure if amis ,,, affect me too much but they did leave my daughter in a right mess ,, they took her off them and she ended up throwing a hospital bed accross the ward then blacking out ,,,

in saying that since the increase my moods have lifted a little ,,, but ,,, not the anxiety ,, i very rarely leave the house ,, and get so angry at stupid things ,,,

cbt can be really good ,, its more a case of putting things in place to deal with stress but it depends how receptive you are to it

anyway hunny sending a useless cyber hug but the thoughts there xx get well soon chick xxx

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to trisha64

Thankyou trisha for your support. :)

I had anxiety and cbt helped me with that but i just cant be botherd going to the weekly appointments and doing all that paperwork. I am going to give the amis a good try and hopefully that will help and my gp is maybe holding back abit to see if i can sort myself out without taking more pills.

i feel better for being back on here though, so thats a start. :)

hugs, kel xxx

Gracie59 profile image
Gracie59

Hey - I'm in amitriptyline 100mg at night - just like you.

It has done more for more for my depression than some meds have.

And it has helped me to get off Zopiclone - a sleeping pill that I detested.

I think you need to wait about 2-3 weeks before you find yourself feeling better.

The pain consultant put me on 75mg for fibro and my GP upped it to 100mg for depression. So it does several jobs for me.

I still have days when I feel extra-grim.

I don't know if it may be a placebo, but I inherited a light box from my late aunt and I use that twice a day. I think that helps to lift my mood too, as I don't spend much time outdoors.

But they are expensive. I could not afford to pay for one myself.

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to Gracie59

Thankyou gracie,

You have made my mind at peace now. :)

I will give the amis a try and see if i can pick myself up. I have had plenty days of feeling grim before but i am now taking it out on love ones that dont need it.

I have heard about them lights before. They help with that SAD disorder dont they?

You have really helped me thankyou, hugs, kel xxx

Gracie59 profile image
Gracie59 in reply to jazher

Yep - they're SAD lamps :)

Best of luck with the increase in ami - I hope you will feel better soon. xx

jayjay profile image
jayjay

Hi kel, so sorry to hear your suffering so bad with depression, i too have suffered real bad in the past, so i have a rough idea how your feeling hunni, i do take antidepreasents 150mg venlafaxine, but i dont take amitryptiline, i take tramadol, they really help me, I hope your soon feeling much better hun, thinking of you and sending you Big Gentle Hugs with loadsa love xxxxxxxxxxxxx

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to jayjay

Thankyou jayjay,

I am feeling better today and i think its with all you lovely peoples support and i cant thankyou all eneough.

I am still low but i am hoping yesterday was my lowest.

It so amazing how many people on here suffer with depression.

Sending you hugs and love back, kel xxxx

fairylady profile image
fairylady

Hi Kel I thought I would just see how you are today

big soft hugs xxxx

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to fairylady

Aww thankyou penny,

Thats is lovely of you. I feel loads better today hun, its still there but i am hoping yesterday was my lowest, fingers crossed. It has made me feel better with comming back on here and i am here to stay. :)

Thankyou so much for your support.

hugs back, kel xxxx

annemcc profile image
annemcc

Hi Kel, i was on fluxotin for 6 months there came off them last week, was put on them when me and my hubbie had a 6 month break!

I had to get away, i felt i was going of my heed as we say here lol.

Anyway back to the anti-depressants, yes they helped, but i am also on amatriptaline 50mg at night but was given them for the pain managment at night along with my pregabalin tramadol SR.

I was also on gapapentan max dose but they never helped, they're not the smallest tablet to take and you must be taken loads of pills throughout the day, have you not thought about taken pregabalin.

Personnaly i think they work better for me than gapapentin, i know everyone reacts different on all the different pills but there is no harm in trying. :) anne. xx

PS i feel ok so far off my AD.

jazher profile image
jazher

Thankyou anne,

The gabapentin have been working well for me so far, i am quite lucky with tablets i seem to be able to take them without side effects. I have put loads of weight on with them which is another thing that gets me down.

I am sorry you are depressed too its awful. I hope you and your hubby have worked things out.

I feel like my heed is going to explode, i get so worked up that i really do think i would be capeable of harming someone, my anger is that bad. Thats not normal is it.

I am so pleased you feel ok so far off your AD, I hope you carry on feeling ok.

Today i am feeling so much better and i actually understand why she hasnt sent me away with another prescription, as like you say i take enough pills. I just hope upping my amitriplyn will help. I know that being back on here has. :)

thankyou again, hugs, kel xxxx

omegaman profile image
omegaman

Hello, I relate to much that has been said and thank you for posting your initial concern. You said that " I just dont know exactly why i am feeling like this but i know its been comming for a long time. " - you can't explain why you have depression, just like people can't explain why they were the one that got asthma or diabetes - it is an illness. Sure some things can exacerbate it as you find but some of us, sadly just get it! and yes it is tough but the thing I really try and hold onto when I am very ill again with it, is that (a) I didn't always feel like this and (b) so that means I wont always feel like this in future.

I also found it helpful not to make rash decisions and to accept that the right help and treatments take time to find and certainly take time to take effect. It is not going to go away over night but remember it wont last for ever. Certainly talking to the people who love you is a very first and big step - one I found to be the scariest but the one that helped me the most. A year and a half ago I went through about 6 months of the worst I have felt for about 20 years and wanted/tried to end my life. I don't feel that bad today. One of the things that helped me the most, alongside changing my medication, and seeing a psychologist (I've had very good counselling in the past, but this was then now related to my work) was getting a dog. Something I've always wanted, and it just seemed totally the wrong but right thing to do. I even went all out and got a puppy. It was bloody hard work to start with and I didn't think I would hack it - but together we helped each other along. Today, I found out that I had actually done a 3.5 mile walk with Willum, my dog and a friend, as part of a trip out to the beach. I can't believe I was able to walk that far and doubt I could walk it again in a rush tomorrow - but over time having a dog has without doubt improved my physical ability and at the same time does give me someone to focus on to help with my depression.

Please try and find the confidence and love in yourself to open up to your loved ones - depression is like a locked in syndrome - but it needs to be let out. Go gently and lovingly with yourself where you can and thank you again for your courage in sending your posting.

Roger

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to omegaman

Thankyou so much for your reply and support roger. :)

I found it hard to own up and i have said little things to some people but just not taking the big step. Yesterday felt like a big step getting it out on here and it has helped me so much.

I have kids so i focus on them usually and if i go to bed with them and get up with them, then thats a good day for me as they are what i am fighting this fibro for. This is why i went for help yesterday as i am so short tempered with them that i hate myself for how shouty i have become with them. My partner took me to my appointment and asked why i was going but i told him it was a review of my meds. I just cant tell him. He is not the easiest person to sit down and tell all. But i think its because i have always been the strong one so i feel i am letting evryone down say ing i cant cope.

I am so pleased you have found your dog helps you, its a lovely relationship isnt it.

Go you with the 3.5 mile walk, i never liked walking before i had fibro lol.

Thankyou again for your support and i will think about telling people but i am just taking each day as it comes and you lovely people have helped me so much, so far.

hugs, kel xxxx

Dragon1964 profile image
Dragon1964

Hi Kel

I suffer from depression and have done for years im 48 with the attitude of someone much younger, I find dealing with everday life a huge struggle alot of the time and feel like a failure! I have recently been prescibed CYBALTA that treats FM and depression.

please feel free to reply anytime as I know how desperate these feelings are and dont give up hope xx

Ell

jazher profile image
jazher in reply to Dragon1964

Thankyou Ell,

I felt abit better yesterday but feel low again today, i am hoping its just a phase and it will sort it self out. My gp is usually quite good so i supose should trust her on this, if i dont find myself any better after 4 weeks i will go back.

I wont give up hope. :)

hugs, kel xxx

FionaP profile image
FionaP

Hi Kel.

Thanks so much for your posts. I am fighting real hard to not fall into a deep one myself this year. Your attitude and posts have really helped me to think through my own situation. I feel that if I fall this time (I lost a few months some 15 years back and it took a long time to get back to feeling myself again) as I am alone now there will be no one to help me through. Having to fight and argue for our support, meds and just daily life is finally getting the better of me after more than 10 years. Maybe it is now time to address my feelings too.

Love to you and all best wishes for positive treatment and a happy future. Fi xx

jazher profile image
jazher

Thankyou fiona,

It has helped me so much putting the question up and seeing all the lovely responses and support i have had. I havent been able to get on here last week and i have really missed it and i think thats why i hit an all time low. I had picked up yesterday but have done nothing today and i just dont feel myself.

Living with this is just so hard and i know i walk around with a smile on my face to everyone else but i am killing inside, and i am sure evrything has just got on top of me.

I still havent told anybody but on here and and a coulpe of fibro friends , but at least a problem shared is a problem halved is what i say.

I hope you can address your feeling s hun and we are all here for you, just look at all my responses its unbeleivable. :)

hugs, kel xxxx

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