How long do i leave things?

As some of you know i was signed off work for a month as things became intolerable for me and i became utterly exhausted, my employer wasn't too happy about my sicknote at first,i went into work to collect what was owed to me wages wise and my employer wished me well in getting better,that was 3 x weeks ago i haven't heard from him since! I saw my G/P yesterday and he filled out a returning to work form with a brief strategy of what would help me achieve this(i am due to return to work on the 14th of May) and mentioned Fibromyalgia as i haven't told my boss i have it and my G/P feels it's important that my employer knows and understands it. I handed the form in yesterday and i still haven't heard from my employer! How long should i leave it before i make contact??? I can't help but think that perhaps i am not wanted back,i haven't even received any sick pay yet! Surely courtesy should command my boss to make contact with me?? Della xxx

13 Replies

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  • Your Boss CANNOT get rid of you on the grounds of your condition. It may be that your boss is waiting for your return to work to discuss the situation with you. If you are concerned and wish to speak to your boss prior to returning to work I would give him/her a week to look into Fibro and then get in touch. I would also suggest you finding some literature for your boss.

    Try

    facebook.com/pages/FMCFSME-...

    or

    fmcfsme.com/

    or

    fmauk.org/information-packs...

    good luck Della. I have been where you are. it is not fun. My GP ended up signing me off permanently as a result of the stress and its impact on the Fibro.

    If you are concerned that your boss wants you out speak to the EHRC via

    fmauk.org/information-packs...

  • Thankyou! (I just find it odd that i haven't heard back etc)! Will check these addresses out xx

  • you can find the EHRC on this link my copy and paste screwed up

    equalityhumanrights.com/

  • Hi Della, maybe he is reluctant to contact you while you are on sick leave incase you think he is harrassing you to return to work.

    When I was off sick I used to ring my manager to say I had another sicknote and ask if I could drop it in and have a chat to him while I was there. Would you feel comfortable doing that rather than leave it until you return and then get all stressed about having to meet with him on your first day back? I dont think there is a right and wrong timescale necessarily but go with what feels comfortable to you. Take care, angela xx

  • That is a possibility that he doesn't wish to hassle me,i will keep that in mind rather than let my thoughts get carried away! I have a tendency to fear the worst,i will perhaps see my boss over the coming weekend and hopefully get the opportunity to break the ice so to speak! Thanks Angela xx

  • Hi there Lynn,thankyou for taking the time to reply to me,it seems to be dilemma after dilemma at the moment which isn't helping the Fibro, i noticed that some links i tried were from the USA so i didn't find them easy to follow and gave up! Thankyou for the very helpful advice as i wasn't sure what to do next, i'm beginning to wish i'd just soldiered on,feel very confused about it all. Yesterday i felt quite positive at handing in my get back to work plan,today i feel very downhearted and almost foolish, are these normal feelings to feel? xxx

  • Hi Della, I think it is natural to go through a range of different feelings, one day your up and the next day your down and this comes with the fibro. The last thing I would do personally is "soldier on" because I tried that and it didn't work, I got more and more run down and had a really bad flare up of the fibro. When fatigue kicks in the only thing your body needs is rest and lots of it. I used to feel as though I were on a roller coaster, as soon as I felt more positive about a situation something would happen and the next thing I would feel it had got worse.

    You have had lots of advice to think about. Dont know whether anyone has mentioned about taking someone with you if you decide to ask to meet with your boss, this may help you to feel more positive. Be brave when you approach work and you maybe surprised at the response, if you are like me I always feared the worse and when you eventualy face up to the situation it may not be as bad as you feared.

    Keep your chin up, we are all here for you. Take care, Love Angela xx

  • It is quite a tight nit community at work,we all usually get on very well with one another too even with our boss! i finally heard from him this morning as he phoned me up,he was very nice asking how i was etc,i feel like a weight has been lifted and will be able to gradually go back and won't feel apprehensive on my first day! I have never lost my confidence like this before where work is involved,has been quite a shock for me,yes it's like being on a rollercoaster ride!! Thankyou so much Angela you are a very understanding soul!xx i have to remain positive i will not let Fibro beat me! xxxx

  • hi! there is always the option that if your boss thinks its something stress related, he/she simply may not know what to say to you, and so rather than say the wrong thing he/she says nothing.

    it may be you have to make the first move for the above reason also then you wont be worrying about it anymore. you will be in control.

    take care xx

  • HI there i was actually ready to make the first move after long deliberation over the past couple of days,however thankfully my boss telephoned me this morning,it was a positive call and i must admit i feel a huge sense of relief! You are more than likely correct in that my boss probably didn't know quite what to say to me etc! Thanks for advice,much appreciated! xx

  • I have been there! loads of hugs xx

  • Hi Della, so glad things at work seem to be working out for you, often when you fear the worst its not so bad after all. I went through such a range of emotions when I was working and like you I was never short on confidence in the past but there is something about fibro that seems as though it is trying to bleed you dry. I am not the person I used to be be am so glad to say that sometimes I feel the flicker of the old me coming through.

    All the best and much love to you, Angela xx

  • It is certainly draining,and seems to like you say, "bleed you dry",eurgh! Was a nice surprise to get a phone call this morning and did uplift my spirits especially towards going back, i still intend to venture out and become self employed,small steps for now,in future i will listen to what my body is telling me and instead of rushing round trying to do everything all at once i will take time out for me to relax and not worry about the next job that needs to be done! Thankyou so very much for all your support through this Angela,much love to you xxx

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