feeling very lonely,isolated and misunderstood,very private about having fibro but can't carry on with work commitments,what do i do?

Have repeatedly asked for help at work but my boss doesn't seem to care less, was told to go home today and accused of complaining and now told am not needed for the rest of the week! i have given 100% and can no longer do it with no support i am so low seeing G/P tomorrow,HELP!!!

31 Replies

  • hi thankyou for replying to my question,yes i do have fibro was diagnosed 9months ago however have had debilitating symptoms that came and went over a period of 12 yrs or so after a nasty bout of flu! but for the last 2yrs my symptoms have been more intense and constant,i am not a lazy person and work hard at everything i do my body and my mind are telling me it is time to ease up and slow down, seeing my g/p today! once again thankyou! x

  • hi there thankyou very much for replying means so much to know that i have support from others who understand exactly what i'm going through,your advice is much appreciated! yes i do have fibro was officially diagnosed about 9 months ago after 12 yrs or so of being unwell and thinking i was crazy! really don't think my employer going to understand,all he seems to care about is making money! i've always been conscientious in everything i do but i will not carry the work load of others as well as my own anymore it's not right and it's not fair'for once myself and my own health and my family also have to come first! once again many thanks x

  • hi firstly please try to calm down none of this is your fault you are just another victim of this fibro and as sucjh you need help and support in all aspects of your life work resyt and play so glad you seeing your gp make sure you write everything down how you cope at work and home exactly how you feeling and hopefully your gp will be able to sort your meds out which then may help you at work or he may suggest things to say to your employer and you may be able to cut your hours or think of another way round things . good luck with it all and everyone is here for you love diddle x

  • thankyou very much for your much needed and welcome advice! my head all over the place! positive action is required so worried that i will totally break down i'm not one for giving up but i can't carry on with the way things are!xx

  • I found this site only a few days ago and I find it helps a lot to know that there are so many people on here that you dont have to explain yourself to. If you want to carry on working dont let them bully you out !!!! my former employers did x

  • i'm new to this site also, it appears to be a vey supportive and positive place i like that! thankyou for your reply i will take your advice on board!xx

  • Hi della,

    I am sorry you are feeling like that.

    I dont work now i had to give it up. :(

    I hope you get it sorted soon and there is no need to feel lonely no more as you have use now. :)

    Hope you feel better soon.

    sending big hugs, kel xxx

  • hi there! thankyou very much for the reply and your lovely kind words, i will be taking on board all the helpful advice etc and hopefully after some rest and recuperation i will bounce back! hugs back to you!xx

  • thankyou so very much having support is making me feel b righter all ready! i'm so glad i found this group!xx

  • Good advice given della,

    sending hugs to you xxx

  • hugs sent back,thankyou very much!xx

  • take the advice given hun and i really hope you get on well with your gp tell him how you feel i was bullied at work also but that was before i was diagnossed but i dont think that would have made a difference i have since given up working i do struggle financially and i was feeling like you a few months ago since being on here tho and being able to chat rant or cry with cyber friends i feel better for it noing im not alone i hope you feel better soon hun gentle hugs and best wishes to you xx

  • thankyou muchly feels good to know i am not the only one and finally can talk to others who understand totally! your kind words mean a lot!xx

  • yes take great advice cause a lot of us have been there and know what you are going through hugs and best wishes

  • thankyou so very much!x

  • What ever you do don't quite your job, i too was in this position years ago but in the end was paid off due to ill health. But it is hard enough on a daily basis with this illness without having to experience the ignorance at work too, i admire you for being able to work, but don't let it make your illness worse though.

    All the adive you can get on here will help you im sure of it.

    remain stong sweetheart and good luck. xxxxx

  • thankyou so much! i am overwhelmed with the support and kind words given! hopefully i can do the same for someone else one day!xx

  • All sound advice given della, go with how you feel and want to carry on. I'm sure you will bounce back, you will probably find we all bounce pretty well on here!! :)

    gentle hugs

    SusanY x

  • thanks,i have a month of so should hopefully be rested after that then will decide what my next step will be! hugs sent back xx

  • Please don't let this awful Fibro beat you. It may play havoc with your body but keep mentally strong and persevere as best you can. By that I don't mean keep working if it really is too much, but also don't let yourself be pushed into a decision. Make sure you take the time to consider all options fully and choose what is best for you.

    You have to put your interests first 'cos no-one else will!! I've certainly found that out. My employers made me redundant the day I went into Addebrookes Hospital to have a brain tumour removed. Sensitive or what :(

    I tried to go down the route of discrimination but no-one had the enthusiasm to investigate it properly and I was too ill to do anything.

    Don't let yourself be put in that situation if you can help it. Be kind to yourself and do what is best for you. No-one knows your fibro as well as you do.

    Lots of love


  • so hope you are back on the mend from your brain tumour,i have been signed off work for a month to be reviewed when that has come to an end,luckily my g/p is lovely and supportive and caring,i have been told to enjoy a well earned rest and see whether i wish to leave my current job or not(g/p thinks i should walk...) as after 4 yrs of being there it's doubtful any changes will occur! warm hugs sent to you xx

  • Hi Delia, cant add anything that hasn't already been said but just wanted to say you have my sympathy. I have felt as low as you are feeling right now so don't feel bad for sharing these feelings. Take care, Love Angela xx

  • Thanks Angela i'm so relieved that there is somewhere to share thingsxx

  • Having been through this myself I DO sympathise. I was doing a job I loved but it was killing me - I was always ill and it was never minor. I caught a cold and ended up with pneumonia, and a urine infection became a major kidney problem. I was thoroughly over-tired not to mention dazed and confused, couldn't remember anything but was valiantly trying to hide it. Eventually my GP said "you can't do this any more" and I had to stop work altogether (had already gone part-time). Waiting too long to make this sensible decision DEFINITELY has meant that I am worse than I used to be - I pushed it too hard for too long - and I never recovered to the level I'd been at before, so don't make the same mistake and look after yourself.

  • Hi there thanks for replying not only is there the Fibro to deal with but i am asthmatic too so stress isn't good for either things i've had quite a few UTI's not at all pleasant.I don't know if i'll ever go back to work will have to wait and see how i feel after my months break,all i know is it's such a relief all ready to know i can rest and take things easy and concentrate on getting as well as i can be! so hope the pain i'm in at the moment eases off and becomes less prevalent.Take care too xxx

  • I have just been diagnosed and have already felt people don't quite understand probably cause I still look the same! I found a link on action for M.E. which was employers so maybe it maybe helpful for them.

    I am tempted to stay private about my condition just to avoid having to explain it all to someone, I often feel embarressed about it and would rather stay out of peoples way. A quote I heard today which helped me was "The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason you held on so long". Try and find pleasures in something small if you can and savour the moment. Thats what I try and do.

    Here's the link of publications includes M.E. and work and an employers guide.

    Hope that helps

  • Thanks,muchly appreciated,very private about it too feel that if i find it hard to understand what chance have others got who don't even have it!xx

  • Hi

    I work as a nurse and was finding it very hard I was sent to

    occupational health, as who ever you work for has to by law

    help you if you have this condition to make your life better

    for you, my outcome was that I cannot work two days in a

    row as I can not cope with it

    Your employer has a duty of care towards you and he must

    listen to your doctor, so dont give up go to your doctor and

    explain to him

  • I also dont speak to people about my illness as the trouble

    is we tend to look OK although we look tired it is not often that

    we look ill, so people dont understand, its even wrose being

    a nurse as most of them think that there is no such thing as


    Its very hard I think to get anyone who has not got firbo to

    understand, they say they do but them look at all the medical

    books and say OH shes just depressed thats all

  • Hi Vivien,so sorry i haven't replied till now! Thankyou so much for your words of encouragement and understanding,i find it very difficult telling anyone that i have Fibro as they really don't understand,i lack the confidence to stand up and say it! i have a couple of friends who are nurses and yes they are very dismissive of our illness so i just keep my mouth shut,i used to be a Veterinary Nurse so what do i know!!! Thankfully my G/P is extremely understanding! xxx

  • Hi I understand completley how you must be feeling. I was diagnosed with severe fibro and my GP signed me off work for 6 mths, then another 6 mths. HR kept coming to see me and asking how they could help etc, I was desperate to return to work as a locum Pharmacy Technician, but I had to let them make the decision and they had to let me go, it was just too emotional for me and when I think of all the miles I used to drive, there is no way I could do it.

    I grieved for who I was but I rejoice in who I am becoming, I am much more laid back, that could be the M.E/ of course but thats a different story. We are all individuals and Fibro effects us all very differently. Unfortunatley Fibro is not a recognised condition in the UK as it is in the USA.

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