My tummy is churning

My tummy is churning,i feel very anxious and panic stricken, i really can't bear the thought of returning to work next week,this is so unlike me and totally out of character,i am finding living with Fibromyalgia a real struggle, i am becoming so exhausted from the slightest of tasks and i do not like it one bit! As some of you lovely people already know i was signed off work due to exhaustion almost 3 x weeks ago for a month,i am seeing my G/P tomorrow and i will undoubtedly be signed off for a further month,this i know will not be well received by my employer and i feel sick and keep bursting into tears, i haven't even told my boss i have Fibro i don't even know how to, i haven't even had so much as a text message in over 2 weeks to ask how i am etc! Pfffft i am a rambling wreck! xxx

28 Replies

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  • Dont know what to say other than hope it works out and stress just makes things feel worse, wish I had a magic wand to wish the pain away, but in the real world we sometimes have no choice but to deal with it, and from looking on this forum some do it better than others and sometimes we can learn from some of the blogs on how to deal with things.

    I was fortunate to have some good support in the early days so it gave me the opportunity to become self employed.

    This was because I could not cope with working /being sick and having to try to explain to others what I felt like.

    So now I can work to suit myself, ok not as much as I would like too but when I have my bad days there is only me to contend with

    I do hope things work out for you and althought I am new myself to this forum I am more than happy to offer any support I can

    soft (((( hugs)))))

    elaine

  • Becoming self employed is so what i want to do,thankyou for taking the time to reply to me means a lot, hugs to you also! xxx

  • I know how you feel, I tried to keep my job for several years and it made me ill, I'd advise getting support, I now visit Mind for my depression and even the local law centre for benefits and work related issues, having someone more official to share this with should help you get through, it gives you independance and not putting so much on those close to you. Well it helped me. Keep looking for what works for you to find help, its not easy but you have us here too.

    Hope you find a way to de-stress and work through this, the feeling of been overwhealmed is not unusual.

    xx

  • Thankyou i will take on board all the advice and support that is given,is so reassuring to have this community,i only came across you by chance a couple of months ago! xxx

  • I dont know how old you are so please dont be offended, but I was put in touch with age concern when I could no longer work. My "minder" as I call her has helped me so much sorting everything out. xx

  • hi you are really geeting yourself so worked up that you are not helping your fibro as the stress is making thaat worse

    i think you need to go to your GP today and if you are signed off ask them to print you off some literature for your employer or ask if they have anything thayt you can give to your employer

    i think you will find the reason your boss is getting mad is prob because he doesnt actually know why you are off if he is just getting a cert every month that says always tired or something similar that really doesnt help you and he is bubbling thinking well we are all always tired as that would wind us all up

    i think you will find if your boss had the facts in front of him as to why you are ill they would be able to read through it and probaably be alot more sympathetic to you so make sure yoy go to see them and explain it all in full good luck lovr diddle x

  • hi Diddle,you are so right the stress is making things worse than they need to be ,thanks for helping me sort in my mind what i need to say this afternoon at the Drs! i tend to get tongue tied and forget what i need to ask etc! I had quite a good few hours sleep even though i didn't go to bed till 4 am! I feel less anxious today,perhaps just been able to share our thoughts helps! Thanks for your support, hope you are having a good day,will log on later today love and hugs,Della xxx

  • Try not to get worked up. The reason they have not txt you to ask how you are doing is because it is against the law for employers to do that. It can be classed as harrassment.

    Try not to worry. You will make yourself worse.

    Hugs

    Jackie

  • I wondered if that was the case! I am a very sensitive person and take things extremely personally! Thanks for the support means so much xxx

  • Aw Della, I know this feeling well, you have the fear of returning to work and the fear of knowing you won't cope with it. Try explaining this to your GP when you go, my GP was really great when I was going through this. She know I was always a workaholic and was always trying to get me to slow down without success.

    Try to keep yourself calm as all this worry will make the stress and anxiety worse. You have had some good advice from others earlier which I hope will be helpful to you. Let us know how you get on, take care, Love Angela xx

  • Hi Angela,thanks so much for replying and caring! Yes i am some what of a workaholic/perfectionist too! Feels a little clearer in what i am going to say to my G/P this afternoon,will be in touch later! Have a good day Love Della xxx

  • Our thoughts will be with you.

    Good luck hun.

    Hugs

    Jackie

  • Thanks Jackie xxx

  • I feel for you so much. Like you I am a sensitive person and ended up having to give up work ten years ago at 50 because I had lots of time off for various reasons and my GP told me I was making myself ill because of the stress because of the way I was treated by my boss, which included constant phone calls demanding to know what was wrong with me and when I was coming back to work.

    Fortunately I had wonderful support from the Occupational Health Doctor. my GP and my husband, so I do hope you are getting some support too where you need it.

    Good luck and llet us know how you get on.

    Caroline xx

  • Hi there Caroline,thankyou for getting in touch and taking the time to offer support, i think i will have to give up my current employment i am finding it difficult enough adjusting to having Fibromyalgia and how best to cope with it, i will return for a brief period just till i get on my feet and sought out an alternative, my G/P wrote out a returning to work form this afternoon for my employer however i doubt it will make any difference to the conditions i have been working under,if need be my G/P will sign me off again, perhaps the fact that i am quite private about my health hasn't helped me in the long run,anyway hope all is good with you, hugs xxx

  • Can relate to your predicament quite well , it is stressful . I am wondering, if you belong to a trade union , whether it would be worth contacting them if this situation is likely to go on. They might be in a postion to offer useful advice and /or support for you if need be, even if you do return to work. Just a thought. Anyway, whatever transpires I do hope all works out well for you . Good luck !

  • Hi there Daphne,i don't belong to a trade union i don't understand much about unions to be honest! I suppose i should have sought out information about it sooner, i think the sooner i find my feet and no longer have to work there the better everything will be! Thankyou for your help much appreciated! x

  • Hi Della

    All the others have given you good advice. The only thing I would add is that it makes a big difference whether you are working for a small or large organisation. Smaller employers have a lot more to lose if an employee goes sick longer term or has lower productivity when they return to work.

    I'm just another member of this forum so anything I say is just my experience and opinion so I won't be offended if you ignore it or me!

    My niece is a surveyor attached to a smallish company and has been diagnosed with CFS so has had similar problems she hasn't yet told her employer the reason for her absences although the longest has been a week and the odd day here and there but she has been subjected to bullying and feels she gets the more difficult surveys to do. She has joined a union and is now keeping a diary when she feels she has been discriminated against and when her boss has spoken to her inappopriately.

    So I would find out which union or professional body you would be best supported by and join TODAY if you can. They are well used to people joining and soon after making requests for support. They will want a subscription but when I was in UNISON it was £2 a week.

    If it's a larger organisation, they should have an Occupation Health department and although they work for the company, they are fully aware of all the disability rules and legal requirements. They will also have a policy which they must follow. I was in the NHS and they had a very clear sickness absence procedure and a return to work guideline.

    I hope you got a lot out of your GP visit and feel better after your appointment.

    Christine x

  • Hi there Christine,thankyou for replying to my blog,I am new to this forum also and find it a fantastic community with so much support and friendliness,i don't work for a large company it is relatively small and often work my shifts alone! i know nothing about unions etc, i pretty much think my days working where i am are numbered,my G/P thinks i ought to leave and find more suitable employment i am hoping to become self employed which he wholeheartedly supports! Luckily i have a very understanding G/P without his support i would have had a total breakdown i think. A returning to work form was given to my employer this afternoon detailing the Fibromyalgia and what i am no longer to do etc from my G/P,ideally making it easier to discuss my condition better when i go back to work on the 14th May, so far i haven't had a response from my boss! Collegues have asked about me and can not understand why he hasn't been in touch whatsoever to ask how i am! Ah well what will be will be! Thankfully we have the law on our side. Hugs to you xxx

  • What Christine has said in her comment is entirely right. My union was USDAW and to the best of my knowledge I was about the only employee to belong in what was a comparatively small business. But if you do return to work I think I am right in saying a union will make sure your return is gradual ( perhaps working part time to begin with ) and they might make suggestions about how your employer can improve/help with your working conditions. Please let us know when you can how you get on !

  • I will keep you posted! i doubt there will be any transition in place for me to ease back in! The boss is only interested in someone there to cover shifts so he doesn't have to etc, i want to have the freedom to leave of my own accord rather than be medically discharged or dismissed because of being on long term sick, i hate this Fibro our lives have to change so much especially as it tightens it grip ! Thankyou xxx

  • Hiya Della, was just wondering how you got on this afternoon at the GP's?? xx

  • Hi there i got on quite ok this afternoon, my G/p was understanding and supportive as he always is thank goodness! He wrote out a sicknote/returning to work form for my boss i am due to return to work on the 14th May,He stated my condition Fibromyalgia which will now make it easier for me to discuss it when i go back,He also put that i am not to undertake any heavy lifting whatsoever and perhaps do less shifts till i feel able to do more! To be honest my G/P thinks i should find alternative employment with less stress involved,i am hoping to become self employed and my G/P thinks it's a good idea! As yet i have had no response from my employer,i am not too optimistic that anything has changed there,my G/P has said to see him straight away if things don't work out and he will sign me off again. Thanks for your concern at my predicament etc lightens the load! Hope you are well,warm hugs to youxxx

  • Aw that sounds positive then, he does sound very supportive and if he put that on your sicknote then they are supposed to take notice of it. My GP was the same and I must admit I would not have go through the last few years if it wasn't for her.

    The stress is off a bit now you are off for another few weeks and you know he will support you if you need more time off so that must make you feel a bit easier. No probs to give you support Della as I have been there myself more than once. You take care now and enjoy your next few weeks, love Angela xx

  • You're a star! xxx

  • Sounds like you've got a plan Della, I did the same once and lived very well off my self-employd income for a couple of years. Then I did a stupid thing and got a mortgage so when I had another bad flair up of the fibro, not having a partner who might bring in a wage or any other means of support and my insurance company refused to pay out I was in deep doodoo as they say! As long as you have other means of support if it goes pear shaped. Don't want to be negative but forewarned is forearmed. If you have health insurance or mortgage protection insurance and have not claimed on it for fibro so far, they will not pay out because it is a "pre-existing condition".

    So glad you feel positive about the future and your GP sounds fab.

    Keep positive and be well!

    Christine xxx

  • Thanks Christine, i don't have a morgage thank goodness,my husband left me 8 yrs ago,so i'm glad i never took the plunge on that one! i'm trying to keep positive i really am,(very hard when underneath i'm paddling like a neurotic dog!) Anyway bye for now take care xxx

  • I am the Queen of neurotic so you can always PM me and have a good moan x

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