I strongly believe that my Fibromyalgia is a consequence of severe stress experienced over a period of time. My health literally went haywire and then the FM set in. I had reactive depression/anxiety beforehand. I was feeling good yesterday and today I am very low and there seems no explanation for these mood swings, along with anxiety. I think if my external factors had been ok then my health would not have suffered. Personally it feels we are such complex individuals, along with health complexities. I am still hoping this will go away and in denial.
I found the letter on my blog - if you read it, it tells you how Fibro comes about. I went through all that was written their - years of severe abuse as a child - beatings and soul destroying put-downs by my biological father - then as a teen sexual abuse and torture on top of the beatings - In later life it was the stress of constantly fighting against family members on the "ogres" side likening me to my mother - she was man-mad - a whore I guess. I'm not like that! I avoid guys now and have done for 15 years or more. After how my life was - how the heck could they think that way? I was forever trying to "win" them over. - I lost the battle there so - severed ties completely when my Grampy died. About 12 years ago I then got hit by a car - not seriously - but bad enough I have permanent scarring on my legs. And that accident was the tip of the iceberg. I slipped into a deep depression 6 months after and was suicidal - even wanting to take my girls with me as I was a single mamma and did not want them swallowed up by the system - I even planned how I was going to kill us - and it was then I realised I needed help. I was put on a low dose antidepressant - that bare help but I was too afraid my girls would be taken from me if I asked for stronger so I plodded on through life - until about 7 years ago after months of dreadful pain everywhere on my body - One GP finally realised what was up though never told me - But she referred me to a Rheumatologist who did the 18 point pressure test on me - and I hit every spot - I was diagnosed with Fibro and referred to a pain clinic - the specialist was horrified as to my life story and was surprised I kept going on and kept everything bottled up - as many going through less actually committed suicide unable to cope with daily living - and that's without the Fibro. - I still think about suicide - but that's all I do - think about it - Despite having the Fibro.
I'm a Gramma to an 8 month old - so he is my reason for still being here - him and his future siblings!
In the last 18 months I finally had the courage to ask for a higher dose of antidepressants and they are helping much better. Housework has slid a lot - I've stopped fretting over that now - I just do a little here and there on my good days.
Gentle hugs,
Carol
P.S. I may have prattle on a bit more than needed - but - well - Knickers! It's all out there now!
Without my sense of humour...I'd not be here now - to be able to make fun at myself, my life and all things in between? Is what kept me going and now with my Grandson I'm so glad I never lost it!
As to the first smilie? (without + signs of course) It's : + - + P
Bless you Carol, your life seems like it was very much like my own, such a bad start too.a breakdown, near homelessness, childrens home and more i think i
was always prone to depression, and having to struggle.
i think another house move (insecurity) was the last straw that started mine off.
I know so many people are out there who went/are going, through similar stuff - Oh, and you helped my fibro fog lift for a split second! I WAS homeless for 5 months with a 5 month old baby - through no fault of my own - how I didn't have severe depression or even Post-Natal Depression from the stress of it I'll never know! - It's only AFTER having the accident as I said, that it kicked me hard - Many medical professionals tell me I'm a strong woman to have kept going as I've done - I had to be strong - I'd have drowned in misery and despair otherwise.
I moved house 3 years ago and regret it - am trying to move back "home" - long story behind why I moved in the first place - maybe for another day - I miss my friends - I have none here so loneliness is a kicker - but regular visits from my daughter, her wonderful hubby and my grandson help keep me sane!
I can empathise why anyone who's been where we have - we must all remain strong again now in our fight with Fibro!
You are a very brave person to put all that down about your life , I to was sexualy abused as a child which messed up my life. Suicide a temps and think about it every day to, it's only my children and grand kids that keep me going. I think being depressed and having a under active thyroid a long with genial anxiety disorder and BPD hasnt helped with the fact of getting Fibro. Sorry to go on a bit , please take care thinking of you xx
You've not gone on a bit! I can - and do - gone on and on and on! Hehehe -
So sorry to hear you went through all you did too - and what you are going through now - and Fibro alone, brings out so much "illness" within it's confines and it really can be soul destroying - I have 2 daughters but sadly my eldest I've not seen for 3 years - another story for another time perhaps - I grieved for her as though she died for 2 of those years - It was only way I could cope - If not for my youngest and her hubby and their son to keep me going - well you know how it goes - Thank goodness for our Kids & Grand Kids hmmm?
A pleasure Margaret, I'm big on hugs! - I hit the big 5-0 early December - though I was due on the 25th - hence the name - Hard to believe that's a ½ CENTURY!
My belief has always been that it is a disorder in the brain, involving disruption of the neuro-receptors and neuro-transmitters, causing errors in the messages received and sent out all over the body. It also seems to involve the production of serotonin, that leads to depression, as well as causing 'fibro fog', photophobia, sleep problems and whole load more of the symptoms we all have.
What causes the disruption is unclear, but it is shown that trauma to the neck and stress can play a part, they certainly make it worse.
then look down until you see a tiny number 4 in green and click on it, you will find a whole list of references if you want to do some serious research.
have fun with that, happy hugs, kate
Kate thank you so much for that it is very interesting
and about the best thing I have read on fibro, I
will enjoy reading it all
Thank you viv
mine was brought on by trama i was not depressed before but i did become depressed after this trama so i put this down to my fms development .. in my opinion your brain is a very cleaver thing but a accident or major incident may cause brain patterns to change or miss fire ... I am not a doctor and this is my thoughts .. one thing i know is that my stress level will make it worse and so can being ill or weather ... i think its knowing yourself xx gentle dyslexic hugs
hi well i wont write a life story but will shorten by about 90% lol ihave been married and divorced twice i have had 2 x kids i have had 8 year relationship with bloke whos son caused us alot of stress ihad 2 car accidents with whiplash in a 18 months and a head on collision 6 months after i had accident at work by lifting 25 litre drum anti freeze fromback of a van and damaged all my back i have adispute going on with work tax credit since 2008 i have bben dealing with my parents now do it for me my grandson nearly died at 6 days old with strep b meneigitis was in hospital 10 days and i think i have had fibro bout 3 years but diagnosed last july so that is more or less my life ther is alot more but i dont really want to discus that on here no offence so i am the 1st person to have it in my family love diddle x
• in reply to
Awww Bless you diddle! Gentle hugs sweetie
Carol x
What a life some of you have had, no wonder some of
you feel like you do.
I dont have half the problems that people on here have
the only problem I have is with my son, who decided
that because his girl friend did not like him mum and
dad he would not see us again that was two years
ago, and we have not seen him since that gave me
a great deal of upset, but I feel better about it now
hes not a young boy so its up to him.
I am sure that my Mum had fibro as she seemed to
have a lot of the same problems as I do
Its nice to know how people have reacted to stress
Hi! My fibro came on slowly over about 18 months. It is still slowly getting worse. What worries me is how bad it will get. And yes it worse with stress or wet and cold weather.
• in reply to
Gentle hugs viv,
I fully understand about your son having gone through similar with my daughter - she's 23 now and I just pray she's finally found what she wants from life and is happy. I just hope sometime in the future she wants to be back in my life.
Carol x
Hi Cadee
You ask you self what you have done wrong dont you, was I a bad Mum
dont think I was we are all human and make mistakes,
I loved my Mum to bits and would never have done that to her, I dont
know about you but my husband says dont bother with him, and thats
hard for me I think woman feel differient about there chidren to men
I dont think I would ever not bother.
But I do think that maybe and I hate to say it but he might have contributed
to my fibro but I dont want to blame anyone for it but you do tend to think
about them dont you more so in the middle of the night when you cant
sleep so that just makes things worse.
Your daughter is younger than my son he is 35 a man, I hope your daughter
realises how important you are in her life.
gentle hugs viv
What a lot you have been through cadee, I hope that it is now
in the past I dont expect you can forgive the past or forget and
some of that has made you into the nice person that you are
now,
I believe that everyone has good and bad periods in there lifes
I just hope that you now have good periods and some thing
good to live for like your grandson and daughter that you see
I to went through the grieving period with my son its so hard
Stress defo makes it worse i got my fibro after a case of the shingles i never really recovered from it then had pains and aches and fatigue. I think my depression is due to my fibro as i was such an active person now i can barely move also i lost a family member recently so thats also a factor of my depression hugs suzi xxx
thanks sue I think the same that my depression is due to my
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Interstitial cystitis
Amazed to find someone who sees me as whole person not symptom.
