happy that i found you

[nazm55]

i am so happy that i have found this site. someone who understands my fears and can relate to my worries. sometimes i wish my meds were strong enough to leave me spaced out i would rather float on a cloud then be here! can anyone suggest something?

[Hidden]

Have you thought about some counselling or some CBT ? It doesn't cure the pain but it can help ease the anxieties that go with it. I found relaxation CD's helpful too and there are even self hypnosis tricks you can learn that can teach coping skills.

It all sounds a bit mumbo jumbo, but if you're like me you'll try most things , as long as they're harmless and cheap !

One of the relaxation techniques I tried did involve floating on a cloud - not literally of course !

Other than that you can always come on here and have a good old rant and get things off your chest , sometimes just talking and having a giggle with people who know EXACTLY what you're going through can help. It's saved my sanity that's for sure .

Hugs

xx

[nazm55]

i have tried relaxation but it never worked cuz i suffer very severe depression and my head would not empty. my OT helped me to try and relax but it was leaving me really low after because i had too much in my head and it all come to the front of my mind instead.

[Hidden]

Have you had any treatments for the depression, other than anti depressants ? I had a course of psychotherapy which didn't get rid of it but helped me to understand why and deal with it. I had the same problem as you in that everything was stuck inside my head , the psychotherapist helped me to deal with some of the traumas that had caused the depression.

I had 2 suicide attempts a few years ago and sadly it took that to happen before I got any kind of proper treatment . That shouldn't be the way it is .

I was assigned a psychiatric district nurse who came on home visits and I have to say she was brilliant ( I think she's the reason I'm still here ) . Most GP's I've found are reluctant to offer anything other than medication for depression because of costs , which is sad because other effective treatments which work in conjunction with anti depressants can help greatly.

Excuse me for saying so , hope I'm not stepping out of line, but it sounds like you really need more help and support than you're getting and I know it's difficult to be heard when you feel really low , I felt invisible and also incapable of pushing for help. I just couldn't be bothered to fight for it.

Hugs

xx

[nazm55]

my gp is aware of all my suicide attempts, but the only offer for help i got was for me to see a psychotherapist, which i went to see once and i had to go up four flights of stairs, after that i kept forgetting about my app which was meant every two weeks foir 6 sessions. i am 27 years old and i have suffered severs depression since i was fourteen and tried to commit siucide and i still have not got the right help but everytime i go to see the gp i feel like im just a moaning old hag and the gp just puts it down to my fibro and tells me its quite common.

[Hidden]

I feel like a moaning old hag too naz, but you know what ? I no longer care . I won't let a GP get away with brushing off symptoms now . At 27 you're far too young to be written off in this way .

Psychotherapy is a long term commitment and to be honest 6 sessions wouldn't have even begun to touch the problem . I went for almost 2 years and on a few occasions when my agoraphobia was at it's worst , the therapist came to me.

I think you've had a really raw deal and it's just not fair. If you've had suicide attempts you should have been assigned a psychiatrist and in some cases a psychologist , they can both help to sort out severe depression in different ways.

I have to say though, mental health services in this country really are a lottery . Seems to me it's those who shout loudest and make the most fuss are the people who get the best treatment offers.

The 6 sessions of counselling offered on the NHS are a waste of time for severe depression, I didn't even like my counsellor but had no option to see a different one, and having the right counsellor is what is most important I think. I went to every session and her suggestion to me at the end was I should go to college because I had " too much time on my hands to think " . Totally unhelpful and a complete waste of my time and the NHS' money .

[nazm55 in reply to Hidden]

that is discusting. you may have a lot of time on your hands, but you cant really do much with them. this is why i dont bother to go to my gp unless its very important. its too much time and effort, cuz you offer yourselves on a plate to be treated and they dont even care. i have walked out of my gp many times crying, because my every day struggles were getting me down, i finally had some one from social services to come and see me and they told me they can not care for me or help me because ido not have a downstairs bathroom and bedroom, the OT has put in for me to move to a parlour type house instead of them adapting my house, because it will cost them too much. and also a downstairs batroom. social services have said they can not help with anything and to contact them when i have moved house

[MissKittycat]

I can second what Jules said... without anti depressants I wouldn't be here either.... I'm just changing mine after a review and finding the new ones really helpful, I really would go to your GP and get them to take another look.

I've also found a brilliant help in MIND, link below, they are really good when it comes to depression, and can help guide you in all sorts of things.

Hope this helps xx gentle hugs xx

mind.org.uk/

[nazm55]

i had a review about nine months ago, and they added and took away some of my antidepressants and anxiety tablets, buti was a mess for weeks and my girls were so scared of me. so i dnt like the thought of being put in a situation where i cant control my rage. i am seeing a pain management clinic every six months, he asks me how im getting on with my meds and when i tell him that i am still in alot of pain cant sleep or get comfortable, he tells me he cant do anymore for me bacause i am on all the right meds. i think why do they even ask?

[Cleaner]

Yes I to am so glad I found this site. It is really helping me reading everyone's blogs knowing that I am not the only one who suffers from depression, Anxiety along side Fibro. I do take meds and don't think I could cope with out being on them now as iv been depressed since I was about 13.

[Hidden]

hi and a very wrm welcome to you i am sure you will wonder what do done without this site soon i do lol evryone is here for you 24/7 it is a truely wonderful place and i love it tryong tpo help people when they are down they helping me when it is my day as we all have hem but you enjoy the site i would go and seee your GP again and would ask to have some antidepressants here is nothing wrong with that we all need help at times i am on 40mg citralopram they are not addictive as far as i am aware , love to you diddle x

[Ang01]

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so low and in pain. I can sympathise with the feelings you are getting, they are not very nice. I felt as though my head was going to explode and I was walking around in a black fog for months and months and like you I didn't want to carry on living like that. My GP put me on antidepressants and over the months I have had them changed a few times although the ones I am on at the moment seem to be helping. I was referred to a psychiatric nurse and she spoke to one of the psychiatrists who suggested Cymbalta as this is meant to help the fibro and the depression. I really think you should go back to your GP, you are not a bother to them, thats why they are there to help you. If you feel it difficult to talk to them perhaps you could write things down and give it to them to read, maybe you would find that more helpful.

I saw a counsellor privately for ages and ages and in addition I also started complimentary therapies. I find reflexology relaxing and calming but in the beginning I had reiki and after each session I began to feel a weight being lifted off me. The therapist told me each time she did a treatment that she could feel whatever it was making me feel that way leaving me. I dont know if you have heard of reiki but it is a very relaxing treatment which also promotes healing. I know it doesnt work for everyone but you could think about trying it, when you feel so low its worth trying anything to see if it helps.

Please dont give up, if you read the blogs on here you will see that you are not alone in the way that you are feeling, most of us have also been in your position and know exactly how you are feeling. I know that may not feel like much consolation at the moment but it may help you to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep talking to us when you are feeling bad and I'm sure you will find some consolation in the responses you get back.

Take care and sleep well, Love Angela xx