does anyone else on here, think its there fault there partner is depressed

[diane63]

my husband is very low at the moment.. and because he works full time. cares for me.. runs the house, as our 3 adult kids do nothing to help... we have told them and told them..they do it for a bit then gives up... i am very worried about him... he is a great husband, but if i wasnt ill i could help him, and if i was not this ill, he would be able to have a life... this is what makes me think.. why do i live.. i cause so much pain to others...

[karencw]

Hi Diane, sorry to hear you are feeling guilty, i think we all do from time to time, i have to remind my hubby that the reason i don't work is because of pain, fatique etc etc etc FIBRO. Can you muster some energy just to get out of the house with your husband for tea or even a run in the car and a coffee and have a chat. Getting away from the house is always good and seems to help open people up when the household and family distractions are not there. Thinking of you x hug x

[diane63 in reply to karencw]

aw thanks hun..might try that x

[tramar]

hi diane like you i have a wonderful husband, who works full time cares for me we do have a perssonal assistant who helps my husband with household chores,but he is on antidepressants and like us still suffers with low moods and i feel responsible and to blame because if i wasnt bad he would have his life go out when he wants go away for weekends play golf but now it all depends on how im feeling how bad the pain is and like you i have felt if i wasnt here then he would have his life back instead of it being on hold, seding lots of gentle hugs to you and your husband xxx

[diane63 in reply to tramar]

thats how i feel sometimes to... big burden xx hugs to u xx

[Hidden]

hi it is not your fault you have this and if he had it you would be doing the same for him , so i think you really need to write a rota at home as you asay your kids are adults so they must act as such i dont mean that in nasty way but you and hubby need to call a family meeting and say right mum is not able to these things i am working and we all need to pull our weight and share the load and then between you write down what the rota is to be that way hubby will get a bit of me time to do something he wants love to you good luck love diddle x

[diane63]

i was at doctors yesterday and told him how i felt...my husband was there . all the doc said was.. im sure ur husband does it because he loves u.. x but i was looking for him to try and help us both.. x

[diane63]

oh ur right diddle..... what we get back is.. we are working full time to... i know its our faults... if u were to meet my kids u would honestly think what lovely well adjusted adults they turned into.... but house hold duties just dont seem to be on that...... its like.. i cant cook myself any food.. but they would watch me struggling to make them something if i did it.. ie..nothing much but pasta or put something in oven for them.. x but think we have to talk to them. now i see my husband struggling i am going to have to be strong, and tell them so... wish me luck.. and thanks for answering my questions.xx