Wish me luck!

Am going to need a fair old bit of support.

I've lived with this condition unwittingly since 1997, managing the original RA diagnosis as well as I could. I'm a big girl. Have been for years. Clinically obese. It has shaped medical attitudes towards me and it took the medics 10 yrs to finally admit to the FMS on top of the RA and it being the main cause of all the pain they couldn't get a handle on.

At the beginning of 2009 I got in the right mindset to start losing serious weight through dieting, under hospital control, having been refused a gastric band (it's a postcode lottery). Nearly 2 years later, I'd shed 5 stones, while working full-time, trying to eat sensibly and manage a divorce & eventual relocation.

By Spring of 2010, I was back in heels after 15 years of sensible shoes and I was feeling more sexy and womanly! Still in loads of pain, but smiling more :-D

I wanted to get enough weight off so that I could start proper dance lessons, although I knew that it would only be achieved with massive levels of painkillers. My partner has always dreamed of us dancing together on evenings out (or holidays abroad, romantic locations etc) and I wanted to match him and enjoy being "normal". While still working, I was buying a new wardrobe of sexy lingerie and clothing, with all that in mind. I was doing my best within the constraints I had.

In Oct 2010 I knew I was going downhill, mentally and physically. In the December, the BIG flare up hit and I haven't worked since. No more daily toning up on the stairs at work (no lifts). I've put back on a good 3st of that weight I'd shed. Have also lost the face I was finally beginning to see, not having seen the "real" me as an adult because of being obese for so long.

My partner, bless his heart, has settled for smooching with me gently, but I can only do that for a few minutes at a time. It's the best I can do right now and I cherish the times he grabs me to smooch wherever we happen to be, embarrassing or not. I shall smile any time we revisit Dunhelm Mill lol.

Inside I'm a slim, vibrant woman trying to get out. Even when she does (yes, the diet is back on again!), she won't be the same woman I've dreamed of being all my life. I don't want to be defined by this condition and by being fat.

Am tired of all the battles, but obesity is one I want to win. The original goal was 10 stones of weight loss. Exactly half my body weight. If I can get back to shedding those regained 3 stones as a first goal, that will be good. My fave high heels are out in the bedroom to remind me.

After thinking I'd escaped the Easter eggs temptation this weekend, yesterday my partner, who's away at the moment, directed me to the chocolate bunnies he'd hidden. My willpower failed and they are now history! I didn't touch choc for 15 years but came off the wagon badly last year.

That's it. No more choc. This weight has got to go! Please wish me luck and, if I may, can I call on you guys for help when things get bad?

13 Replies

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  • you can call any time. I have a weight issue too having had an underactive thyroid for years without treatment and now disabled through accidents and heart condition, now fibro, i understand somewhat your situation and admire your determination and stamina to continue! well done and keep up the good work. xxxx :)

  • Good luck sammicat,

    We are always here for you hun. :)

    If you have done it once then you will be able to do it again, i am a bit on the bigger side and i would love to loose 3 stones but its easier said than done.

    SEnding you big gentle hugs

    kel xxx

  • gud luck but dnt b hard on ur sen,surely now n agen u can treat ur sen...luck at wot uv already achieved...ur a special person 4 been so onest bout ur sen..wish u well xx

  • Hi sammicat15 Well I wish you all the luck there is I too battle with my weight I have lost 2st 10LB so far but like you have lost and gained many times, but this dam FM takes you to so many highs and lows. WE WILL GET there with plenty of PMA (positive mental attitude) I am currently doing slimming world which is great as you don't have to exercise loads to lose weight which is great for us with FM, I also have Osteoarthritis and am going into hospital for my 2nd hip replacement on Friday, bionic or what LOL .. Anyway hope to chat soon sue x

  • My mother was a dancer and of course the old saying for luck before going on set/stage was "break a leg" but I seriously hope that you don't! But I wish you the best of luck, all the same, Sue x

    Well done on your weight loss so far. Hopefully when you're back up and walking again, you'll be able to continue :)

  • you call on us anytime we are all here for youand want it just s much as you do for you to be how you wan to be so good luck and you can do it you know you can love diddle x

  • thanks to everyone for your support and comments x

  • Well Sammicat I can empathise with you, especially the weight problem. If only I could stop eating chocolate, even if I dont buy it myself like you I have kind friends who buy it for me then I just HAVE to eat it!!!. Its good to hear that you have decided to get back on track and I wish you every success. I am waiting for an appointment at the local weight management clinic so I too will be looking for support in the near future so we can all help each other. Good luck to you and take care, Love Angela x

  • give me a shout when you've been for your first assessment x

  • good luck with the diet sammicat but remember the fibro does things to your internal appetite suppressor and doesn't allow your body to register full so it is a long hard struggle when you are fighting on all fronts keep away from sweet things as sugar is fybros no 1 enemy

    I too have a daily battle with food and need to lose 5 stone so i applaud your success and weep with you at your 'gains'

  • thanks, hun xx I'll be your diet buddy should you like one day.

  • Will do Sammicat, dont know how long the waiting list is tho. Interesting what you say about the effect of fibro on your appetite suppressor Quine, I never had a sweet tooth but now I cant get enough sweet foods, particularly chocolate. Will try and wean myself off it if I can muster the willpower xxx

  • ever since i found out i had fibro in sept 2009 my weight has been going up from a size 10/12 to almost 14/16 now and i hated it and want my slim sexy body back. it not like i'm over eating as im not some days the dog eats more than me. i tired weight watchers but that was making me eat more than i was so no weight cames off. untill i was put on meds my weight was fine but on then it gone up. i now getting more pain from the arthritis i have as well in my spine but it now moving into my hips and knees as well and trying to put off going to dr as i dont want any more meds that make weight go on

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