I don't laugh like i use to any more!

its 2.18 int he morning and i still can't sleep. i am aching like crazy from the waist down my wrists have been hurting and i am constantly dropping things. had to take mum down the hospital straight from the doctors Friday and spent the whole evening there now i am so tired and and feel so down. on top of all that had a big fall out with my son now i just down even want to talk to him anymore i just can't me dealing with all this. it makes me wonder is it me? am i the problem? i'm just so tired, i' dealing with mum, i'm trying to cope with my separation, health, and loss of job; i'm trying to keep my sons head above water and counsel him when he calls and is feeling down while at uni financially i feel as though i am starting to struggle, i'm finding it hard to keep the place tidy this week. i'm crying all the time i feel like a real basket case tonight. but i have to just keep telling myself that its going to be ok, the thing is family don't understand what we go through with this FMS and its even hard to tell them what it actually is. and i am tired of trying to explain it to them they can't even be bothered to go and find out what it is. Anyway as my husband use to say " in this world you paddle your own canoe"

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  • Hi gloglo

    so sorry you are in pain and feeling down but this is how fibro gets you

    how I try to get through it is think of the good things that I have done like

    I care for both m parents and help them as much I can .

    so you have helped your Mum & tried all you can.

    so take it nice and easy for a day or two and try not to dwell on things for to

    long and try and do the harder things by pacing them I try to brake difficult

    jobs into smaller little ones, I vacume one room at a time but very difficult I know

    not allways possible

    Hugs

    Brother Fibromite in Pain

    Rubberman

  • hi Rubberman , thanks you, all you have said is what i actually do. i am proud that i help my mum she has always been there for me now its my turn even if i am not feeling well i will help those i love. I know it will pass but when you are in the thick of it sometimes it just becomes over whelming and you just feel like lying down and giving up but i have to tell myself; i will pass. and i will be able to manage better in a few days time. i am a strong person and to see myself like this just makes me so sad because i know i have a lot to give and at the mo just find it hard to.

    Anyway enough about me how are you doing? is yours under control?

    thanks again for the encouragement love.

    regards

    gloglo

  • Hi dont worry we all have times i our lives when it seems evrything is against us but then it will turn around and we will sort things out we all have those times when you think nothing else can possiblty happen here i really cant take anymore so you are not alone and the good thing is you are sharing it and letting it all out rather than keeping it in , dont you worry too much i know it is easy for people to say but you can only do your best for people and if thats not good enough well sorry but that is all you can give i hoe you manage to sleep love to you diddle x

  • Gloglo,

    Just want to send you a big hug. :)

    Its the tiredness that kills me and i am right grump when i am shatterd. Normal people dont cope very well tired but at least they can have an hours rest and feel refreshed from it.

    When i am that tired everything always seem worse and i cant cope with anything.

    I hope after writing this it has helped you get it all out and hope today will be a bit easier for you, stop thinking about everyone else first and put your self first even if it just for 1 day.

    take care, kel xxxx

  • Hi Gloglo gosh i really do understand i have been suffering for years and trying to keep things going i to look after my mum & dad both are 81 dad is chair to bed bound and mum as cancer and a lots of other problems and to top it i think she has Alzheimer as she ask the same things over and over again i have 7 sisters and 2 brothers sadly one of my sister died at 17,but i seem to be the one who she wont do anything without me wont go unless i take her and i have only ever missed taking her and dad once to all there hospital appointment. i am so lucky that i have a great husband who can cook and clean and understand that family is important again my sister did not understand the girls all stay one night at mum a week,me included,i was took into hospital last year with pneumonia and to be honest it was the first thing that made them sit up and realize that i cant be there at mums 24/7 the rest all work so it was kind of left up to me to do everything for them my mum has been my rock for years so i feel guilty when i am not there,what i really wanted to say before the rant i took to my bed for 2 weeks i was so sore i most likely if i had of pushed myself could have went to mum but i never i had made my decision i was sticking to my plan that someone else could do what i normally struggled to do everyday and suffer at night for it was the best thing i did (i was always the one who looked things up that was wrong with my parents and sister) they all have computers

    so it made them sit up and take a look my twin sister(who is never sick) printed off sheets to let them see what i do go through and it worked as long as go up to mums to see them i really don't have to try to do to much or i am being told off my mum is great she wont let anyone put on me now my advise print off sheets had it to them and say how would you like to be going through this everyday it worked for me (How long it last i don't know) but its hard i am starting to look after myself first not last on a long list.

    Sorry if my comments are to long

  • thanks everyone for your words of encouragement.XXXXXXX

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