Be kind to yourself

[RWilliamson]

I took the plunge and handed my notice in today. I've always felt so guilty for relying on my husband, especially as my daughter started nursery. He's always very supportive but I still felt like I had something to prove or to feel worth.

I got a great remote job but as the weeks have gone in I've had 3 flares and my mental health issues reared it's head. I've felt so physically and emotionally overwhelmed that I had the darkest thoughts. I've been ignoring the issue until I finally cracked the past few days. After finally speaking to my husband and best friend who told me I'm not a failure, I handed my notice in. Its such a relief!

What are ways you've been kind to yourself and actually accepting you have a chronic condition?

[Alb2]

Well done for having the courage to make your decision. It isn’t easy is it, but I too made that decision recently and like you, the relief is worth it. I am really grateful I am in a position to do so as I know not everyone is, but my job was beginning to takes its toll on my physical health. I decided to start being kind to myself! Wishing you well for the future😊😊

[Jasmeet12]

RWilliamson, I really feel for you. I had to do the same thing. Leaving your career is one of the hardest decisions we have to make because of ill health. I have been not working for a year now and had to do councilling for acceptance for my life as it is now. It is hard work working through the thoughts and feelings because of fibro and the decisions we have to make because of it. But please take each day as it comes and be kind to you... bug hugs

[orange2323]

That's a great move RW as it is not worth putting your health at risk. Mentally nor physically. If we damage ourselves further we are no use to help others. I've just started going swimming again and having a steam all be it slowly and gently. It's a nice switch off and helps whilst I'm in the pool. It's hard accepting our limitations fibro brings physically but it's the mind we must take care of too. I hope you've spoken to your GP about those dark thoughts as CBT could be good for you As you say be kind to yourself. I'm sure your husband and daughter will see the benefits too. Grab yourself a nice relaxing hobby and enjoy. Well done and good luck.

[Chunky6]

hi there. It seems from my own experience and reading other posts, guilt is a big part of living with fibro, which in turn then adds to stress leading to flare ups and on we go!

I recently reduced my hours at work so I could take Wednesdays off. I’m actually working longer days the other 4, so only reduced weekly hours by 3, but by working 2 days, then a day off and then in for another 2, it has really helped my stress levels. I don’t seem to have that miserable Sunday dreading work.

Today should be my office day, but I have a dreadful cold which has triggered a flare up so I’m working at home - feel sick with guilt as I’ve messaged my colleagues 🤢

100% sure you have done the right thing, and flare ups will be a thing of the past x

[Cotswolds25121]

👏👏👏💐💕💕🤗🤗xx

[Coogy52]

I finished work 4 years ago, best thing I ever did, good Luck xx

[Mystique23]

Being kind to myself by accepting I'm never going to have the perfect tidy/spotless home I would like as I cannot keep up with the housework.(with 4 dogs it's not happening) I set myself one housekeeping task a day and feel at peace with that. It helps me to pace myself and allows me time to recharge. Some days I can do more than one task but I've stopped beating myself up about it if I can't do more.

I'm off sick til July but I can't see me being able to return to work, it's much too physical for me. As much as I hate the idea of not being able to return, over the last two months I've accepted that they are likely to dismiss me on medical grounds. I'm actually ok with it now but we will see. I'm being kind to myself by taking this time off sick to reorganise my priorities and trying hard to say no.

Best wishes xx

[Maud-ie]

Well done. Lack of money and managing on less (as long as there is enough) is, in my opinion, less stressful than battling through work. My guilt that other colleagues were supporting me so that the boss(es) didn't see my failings made me feel awful. I wish you all the very best

[Latics1989-90]

HiWell done to you!! Please don't feel guilty. Your hubby sounds lovely as does your little girl. You've got a good friend too😀 Please don't feel you have got to do all the housework etc .

I had to take ill health retirement 5 years ago. My boss had tried everything to accommodate me but it wasn't to be. I loved my job as a dinner lady, classroom assistant and breakfast club worker(this, I had already finished) It took a long time for me to accept mentally but I realized very soon that it was the right thing to do. I have good friends and family and of course all of you on here. I'm still in touch with my friends from work, even more boss!!

Lots of love and hugs Lynne xxxx 💜🫂💟🫂