Returning to work

[Mr_Miyagi]

Hello All,

I wanted to reach out to people that might have been, or are in a similar situation to me and how they have dealt with things.

I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but have like most people suffered with the illness for quite some time before I diagnosed. I also have epilepsy and used to have fairly regular seizures, but they are under control more now with a recent medication change.

My question is how people have dealt with a loss of job because either of their fibromyalgia, or some other illness and how they managed to get back to work. I used to be a web developer for the past twenty years, but as the epilepsy got worse before it got better, then I had all the issues with not sleeping and pain just to mention a few things, and my father died in the mix of all this. I had to leave my job as I couldn't function at work what with hardly sleeping and still having seizure which were scrambling my brain for a few days after I had one. For the past four years because of my health, I have not worked.

I now want to return back to work but have no confidence in myself and wouldn't trust working on a customers website without messing it up as I'm always making the most basic of mistakes in day to day life. I also have regular issues with this fibro fog that people call it and I still have lots of days I have insomnia. I feel I'm not the same person I used to be I don't know how to return to work as stupid as that sounds.

I dont think anyone would take me on after my long period of illness as businesses would not be willing to take a risk on someone like me with my health and being out of work for so long because of it. The last business I worked for collapsed and the owner is now overseas, so I have no work reference to obtain which complicated things.

Sorry for what seems like a long post, I just wanted to know if people managed to get back in their careers, or has your illness made it impossible to return to the job you once did and you either no longer work, or have switched careers/jobs to something that works with your conditions.

Many Thanks,

Tony

[Hidden]

Hi Mr_Miyagi , I just popped into the forum for a few minutes and saw your post. I’m not able to help with going back to work advice, but I just thought I’d say welcome to our forum, and to let you know you’ve come to the right place for advice.

Also, to say you’ve had a tough time of it the last few years, and it’s great that you’ve come out the other end and are beginning to find ways of moving on.

The forum is a bit quieter over the weekend, but there are people on here who will be able to help you.

Good luck.

GP. 😊😊

[Mr_Miyagi in reply to Hidden]

Hello,

Thanks for your kind words. I'm sure somebody has been or is currently in a similar situation to me and can perhaps guide me or offer some as advice.

Tony x

[Painny]

Hi Tony,

There is so much to take in your life and what an strength for thinking about work! I’m really sorry how your are suffering and I hope you can work on a project at your own pace but in my view there aren’t that many employers understanding us unless you work for Fibromyalgia Action U.K.

I have been a high achiever and earned a good salary but had to give up work for two reasons. Couple of months ago I applied for a voluntary work but unfortunately I did not pass the interview. I also suffer from non epileptic seizures plus several other conditions and have resigned to the fact that I cannot work but pleased that I have worked for 25 years as a responsible citizen.

It’s a shame that I cannot continue my employment but I carry both the guilt of not working and acceptance of my conditions on a daily basis.

As a sufferer I’d say do not put yourself under pressure unless you know you are capable of doing the work with a support from an employer. How about starting with once a week doing voluntary as a trial? I did but then I would drop on the floor after half an hour😰

You deserve a credit for what you have achieved and I hope all your dreams come true.

Take care and stay safe

[Mr_Miyagi]

Hello,

You mentioned finding a project and working at your own pace and that would be great. But as you said, not many employers are going to be interested in that. Even before I became sick, everything was done against time constraints and I managed OK.

However, there is no way I could work at close to the pace I used to previously. Competition for jobs in the market is quite high where I live and there isn't that many jobs, if any doing what I'm qualified to do. So getting a potential employer to choose me over someone that is as equally skilled but has no health issues seems like a lost battle.

You mentioned something about a shame that you cannot continue employment but you carry both the guilt of not working and acceptance of your conditions on a daily basis. I also have this and it seems like a daily battle to push these negative thoughts out. Thoughts that I have failed even though it's not by my own hand so to speak.

Thank you for your closing words. A few friends have said similar things which is touching. They have also said that I should accept that I'm not healthy and cannot do what I did before career wise, but still am capable and have something to offer.

I may look into a career in care in some capacity as I know they are in high demand and willing to train you up.

Thanks,

T x

[Painny in reply to Mr_Miyagi]

Hi T

Thank you for your reply. I honestly get your situation about the employers. They are the losers not us! You are most welcome and I sincerely see a lot of potential in you even without knowing it!

I definitely believe the law needs to change when it comes to employment and those severely disabled. There are other countries that give a lot of protection to those who want to be in employment despite disability such as Sweden but U.K. is far from it. The devil is the notion of ‘Free Market’ here in my beloved country.

You are in a right place for sharing your thoughts and getting support from members. I hope you will get the job in the caring profession. We just have to make sure we do things within the limit of our CAN DO.

Best wishes x

[Chloeblue]

Hi Tony I too had a good job and lots of responsibility. Unfortunately due to the random symptoms that would strike I found it impossible to hold down my job. Eventually I had to leave and accept my new way of life. I manage to claim PIP, which helps a little but there’s no substitute for structure to your day and earning a living. Sorry I can’t be more inspirational but accepting helps, take care

[luckylou52]

Hi Tony welcome to the forum. I used to work in the NHS when I was diagnosed by one of the consultants I worked with. Eventually I left, mainly because my mum died at the hospital but also because of my illness. Didn’t have time off but had brain fog so much I’d forget what I was doing. Anyway a few years later I got a job in retail which was ok because the medication was working. I’ve been doing this job now for 6 years but I’ve been off sick for 7 weeks now due to fibromyalgia and won’t be back until 22nd. The only reason for this is I’m expected to lift heavy items for customers and do this on a daily basis so the GP signed me off because my manager won’t just let me do orders on shop floor. I won’t name the firm but so many customers come in for items ordered online that are heavy and I have to pick them. I am trying desperately to get into an office job or just a job where I don’t need to touch heavy stuff but it’s difficult. As you said employers don’t like people who have a lot of sickness but many retailers don’t exactly check references including Sainsburys. Nowadays you don’t have to tell them you have an illness. Plenty of people where I work have illnesses they’ve not told the employer about and some have been lucky with no sickness or only a couple of days off. Although I’m constantly in pain and taking my medication I’m fortunate to be able to carry on working. The brain fog can be really bad so I might be in the warehouse picking at that point but a lot of the younger men will get the heavy stuff for me now.

Maybe try working in another industry part-time just to get yourself in the door as they say. If there are agencies they may find you work and that might help you.

I’m not going to lie it is a very competitive world at the moment after covid but there are some places that are willing to take people on and it is mainly care agencies or retail. Retail has so many part-time vacancies all over the place and it might help boost your confidence. Then maybe you can return to your previous industry feeling much better about yourself.

Good luck with everything Tony

[Mr_Miyagi in reply to luckylou52]

Hello,

Regarding the part of your reply where you mentioned that you don't have to tell potential employers you have an illness. I know this is the case, but for me regardless if I go back into web development or try something new, I'm not quite sure who to explain my absence.

Yes I have legitimately been off work, but I find it's almost inevitable your going to have to mention something about "well I was off work for X period of time due to sickness" and being vague not stating why you were sick. But from my experience if you even got a telephone interview I would have to explain things.

One of my best friends used to be a fork lift operator, but had a stroke whilst at work and lost his job. That was two years ago and whilst he has told me he feels relatively fine, nobody will touch him for his former career, and being now 50 he has found it pretty much impossible to find work. Now he just delivers pizzas for dominos which he finds pretty miserable, but that's all he can get for now. We both live on a city where unemployment is high and I was previously living in Manchester as there was no jobs here, so I had to move where the money/work was.

Maybe I will get lucky and find a position of some nature that's a bit less demanding. I have seen part time care work available, but you need a car as you travel to clients homes. Because if my epilepsy, the DVLA are always sending my a stack of forms and because of how COVID has effected governmental services, I'm still waiting for them to process my new license. Money is fortunately not an issue for me at the moment, but having nothing to wake up for, a purpose you could say is kind of soul crushing.

Tony x