First let me thank you for taking the time to reply in such a heartfelt way. Second....how the heck are you after your back and fall???? and how did you get through at work today?
I would never criticise or judge. Life affects us all in different ways(and I'm not into preaching either)
My daughter is probably around the same age as you. She's a really caring,lovely daughter but she grew up (alongside my son) without a dad and is used to me being strong and in control. She can't bear to see me ill and this in itself puts a bit of pressure on me. She's under a lot of stress in her life at the moment so I play it down.
I've also got an ageing mum who relies on me(only child) so much. I have got a great husband but he's not one for deep conversations and just plods on in his own way.
Anyway,that's the jist. Next to you I don't think I can complain as I have had a great life up to the past few years. I've loved,laughed and lived. I did expect it to go on for a lot longer and that's what I can't come to terms with. Another chronic condition with no answers( I also have crohns) or cure!!!
I have decided that this thing will not cause me to get depressed. I have seen a lot of that as I've worked for a mental health registered charity .you have obviously gone through it . It's a big load to carry at your age so don't beat yourself up. I think it's perfectly normal to put a mask on...pride I think. I don't think I'm going to discuss my health with people(except on this fab forum)as they seem to turn my symptoms into some sort of competition ending with their symptoms being much worse! Or telling me I'll get better.. you're right...people don't understand...how could they? I'm stopping rambling now. I really really hope you're not suffering too much. Let me know in your own time .xx