WHY did I mow the lawn?

[amymoonbeamz]

Silly girl. I thought something productive would be a good idea for the mind, body and soul.

What was I thinking? smh

Dreaming of the days physical activity was fun (and not painful) ☹️

[amymoonbeamz]

I just wanted to feel normal. Now I hate myself.

[Hidden in reply to amymoonbeamz]

Don't hate yourself--- you're doing what we all try to do,make the best, most normal lives for ourselves. Any way you can get help with heavy jobs ?

[amymoonbeamz in reply to Hidden]

My husband normally does the heavy work but he has been so busy with work work that I was trying to help. I sure did pay for it!!

[JacquiRo]

This is t how I planned my life either... but ... ( as there is always one)

Concentrate on the things you can do... that makes you happy... makes you feel normal not on what you can't ... that is what I am trying to do.

I used to mow our lawn at home and would take me over 2 hours ( big lawn) but now have a tractor that I sit on... but still so many problems.

Healing happy thoughts to you Amy x

[SLEEPINGDOG in reply to JacquiRo]

So sorry to hear about your probs Amy; hope things improve for you. I like to set up things to look forward to, but SLE is catching up fast Hating yourself never gets you anywhere. We all get sooo frustrated looking at what we used to do, but can't do now. ON THE SUBJECT OF LAWNS JACQUI :-

I did too, especially but now we've 'downsized' thank goodness and I sold my elderly sit-upon mower, but even this pocket handkerchief lawn has proved impossible. I used to get ½ way through when I first developed SLE and then get my wife to finish it off for me (how are the mighty fallen! I previously mowed the ½ acre orchard in our previous rental home - at the run! ) - dog loved trying to keep up with me, now I've discovered how useful a grandson can be for £1 on a small lawn using a light lawnmower.. Last week we went to the West End to see a show (I've been looking forward to that, but my wife had to push me to the theatre in the wheelchair from the coach in the pouring rain) I felt so guilty about that it took a bit of the shine off the day, then I had to see my Rheumy the next day - fell and twisted my knee on the way - I was going to say it never rains but it pours, but I've already covered that one!

Take care Amy and make a list of day-to-day "look forward to" treats. The Bucket List of BIG treats takes ages to wait for - like next year's holiday. 'Soon' treats works better, I've found. An dear friend in Arizona sent me this somewhat implausible account of his latest exploits. He said:

"

I went to my nearby Pharmacy, straight to the back, where the

Pharmacists' high counter is located.

I took out my little bottle, along with a teaspoon, and set them upon the counter. The Pharmacist came over, smiled, and asked if he could help me.

I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?” Seeing a senior citizen, the Pharmacist went along with it.

He took the spoon, put a tiny bit of the liquid on it, put it on his tongue swilled it around.

Then, with a stomach-churning look on his face, he spat it out on the floor and began coughing.

When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye and asked, "Now, does that taste sweet to you?" The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, "HELL NO!!!"

I said, "Oh, thank God! That's a real relief! My doctor told me to have

a Pharmacist test my urine for sugar!" Take care both of you - and Amy - try to love yourself again!!

John

[amymoonbeamz in reply to SLEEPINGDOG]

What a lovely story! Just made me laugh! Thank you! 🤗

[amymoonbeamz in reply to JacquiRo]

Thank you! 😊

[Shazzzy]

Bit late to be mowing the lawn ! Understand what you mean about wanting to feel normal though. Sometimes It is worth the pain.

[amymoonbeamz]

@shazzzy I'm in California so there is still light! ☺️ You're right. Sometimes it's worth it but I forgot how much I have to do tomorrow for my mum helping set up for 14 for dinner on Saturday. Ugh.

@JacquiRo Thanks. I go through bouts of feeling like I owe myself (and my hubby) a sense of normalcy that equates to doing things I know are now out of my realm of reality and the. I pay for it ten fold.

The worst part of it all is that I have done something to a ligament in my knee from my hypermobility and I took off my knee brace to mow! I should know better. 😬 Now I hurt more than I did before. And my puppy doesn't get a walk now.

Just feeling guilty.

But, the lawn looks fab! (Brighter note...I try) 🙂

[deejames]

Sometimes it better to mow a half or a quarter of the lawn and see how it goes. Pacing is so important.

I can't bend properly so I weed for 5 minuts then drag myself away trying not to see the rest. Past life would have been hours doing it.

Have a good day

Dee

[amymoonbeamz in reply to deejames]

My OCD wouldn't allow for a half mowed lawn 😬😂 I do understand what you're saying though. It's true. I've never been good at pacing.

[Hidden]

Yeah - I still get out and dig weeds and the garden and my shoulders hurt for several days... But I still love the results when it is done!

[MariLiz]

I think we're all guilty of thinking something's a good idea, and then finding out later that it definitely wasn't! I used to love spending hours in my garden, but now I have to put a time limit on what I do. We've recently been cutting back lots of overgrown areas, it's amazing how much some things have grown with all the rain we've been getting!

So try not to feel bad about your mowing, you said yourself, "the lawn looks great"! Just remember next time not to overdo things.

[Hidden]

I was just thinking before I logged on how lucky I moved 3 years, downsizing to a doll's house ( nearly)

The grass cutting was killing me, too. I was finding the mower heavier and heavier to move so I decided to get rid of the grass. I started on the back garden, which is just a patch about 5 metres and 4 metres, below the deck which is the only bit I use. It's taken me over 2 months, whereas a few years ago I'd have done it in a long weekend. Bark and Astro turf, not perfect looking but no maintenance.

I'm gearing up now to get rid of the front, cover the grass in newspaper and weed membrane,mthen gravel.

I decided it was that or constantly pay someone to cut it.

[amymoonbeamz in reply to Hidden]

Oh how I wish I could! I rent (from a friend) and an agreement for lower rent was that we take care of the garden. She will not let me get rid of the lawn. It's beautiful too and I've never had lawn before so it's an adventure I enjoy. It's just my body that doesn't! I guess I just need to ask my husband to step up the help. He does so much already I feel guilty.

[fenbadger]

luckily I'm in a flat and don't have a lawn anymore. I sympathise though. I'm on holiday and should be getting out and about, but am having what's looking like the 4th day in a row indoors. I had quite an adventurous 1st part of the week but am paying for it. With the rain and having to see to mum yesterday, I'm not doing too good. Could we have some of your California sunshine please?

[amymoonbeamz in reply to fenbadger]

Holidays are the best and worst! I'll never forget spending the first five of a seven day honeymoon inside just from the journey there. I completely relate! Then, we enjoyed the last few days and came home and it took two full weeks to recover!

I wish I could trade some rain for our heat and ☀️!!! Best wishes to you.

[pixiewixie]

Don't hate yourself dear amymoonbeamz for wanting a degree of normalcy, after all you are only human. No, please put it down to a learning experience! Yip I have been there trying to bend to weed & a short time later I can hardly walk. Now I am older at least I know that if I try to do the garden I have the consequence of pain, pain, & pain! I know I have it, pain, daily anyway so some days I think "I will do it my way". I have learnt over a period of time do not be too hard on yourself! Please take care & praise your attempts & your coping with all life's learning curves ! X Pixiewixie

[amymoonbeamz]

Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement! It is greatly appreciated! 💕