Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Support to my partner,who has Fibromyalgia!

Hi there!

My girlfriend suffers from fibromyalgia and anxiety!

There are days when she is so exhausted, but she is so stubborn that she won't give in to it and carrys on day to day. She works full time.

She loves her job too

I have many questions to ask, if anyone could help??

She can become moody and also not very talkative during the day,sometimes kind of distant!!

Is this a common pattern?


17 Replies

Welcome to the forum it is so wonderful that she has such a caring partner.

Yes mood swings unfortunately can be part of fibro. Sometimes coping with the pain and fatigue can be utterly exhausting and leave us totally drained. Just making our bodies move around to do everyday tasks can feel like be like trying to roll a large rock uphill.

You find that even thought processes seem to slow down so making conversation is just too much. We don't mean anything by it and it is no reflection on our loving partners it is just we don't have any spare energy. If I try to explain it in layman terms it can be like trying to operate when you have the flu with all the attendant aches and pains just without the cold symptoms. If she is working full-time even at a job she loves she just can't fire on all cylinders.

Fibro can rob you of the life you expected to have and it can be a bit like a grieving process trying to adjust. Many forum members never had a depressive illness before but trying to cope with everything can cause us to have depression. I am not sure either what medications she is on but again some if these can have the side effect of very low mood. It might be worth looking at the patient leaflet of any meds to see if this is a known side effect, if it is it might be worth persuading her to go to her GP as sometimes an alternative medicine can be offered or just tweaking the dose can have the desired effect.

Have a look in the Fibromyalgia UK site as there is some excellent section in the illness and its effects. Hope this helps you.x


Thank you Rosewine :-)

Yes, she's recently been on different medication.

And yes, it does get her down sometimes, where she gets moody, but I know it's no reflection on me, cause she always apologises for being grouchy!

I just smile and give her a hug 🤗

Is it kinda usual for not wanting to be hugged too? Last week she was really down and I went to hug her, but she said she wasn't in " the right frame of mind just yet for a hug"!!!

I felt I couldn't support her!!!

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I don't know whether you know but many fibromites have very sensitive painful skin and muscles and a big hug can actually be really painful. Bless him my hubby forgot tonight and gave me a big hug before going off to the hospital and it was a bit too squeezy and now my rib cage is zinging. My friends have now learnt to just very gently encircle me and give me just a very soft hug.x


I hope hubby's appointment goes well my friend xx


I could write a book on the NHS at the moment I do wish they would communicate with each other, some days have been a catalogue of disasters and as for the parking 😬.

A night off for good behavior so sitting relaxing for a change letting someone else be the taxi driver. Please pray for him tonight as we are (fingers crossed, everything crossed) that it will be his last day of radiotherapy tomorrow then just all the follow-ups. Don't know yet how long it will be before we know whether it has worked at all but taking each day as it comes.x

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Yes of course I will my friend.

Please let me know how he gets on xx

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Hi Hidden

I just wanted to wish you and your partner a very warm welcome to our lovely forum :)

If you take a look at our mother site you will find a list of the most common symptoms of Fibromyalgia

Sadly I live in constant pain having lived with Fibro & ME for 36 years.

When I am in severe pain the last thing I want is to be touched.

Do you think that your partner would join us here on the forum?

She can dip in and out as she pleases.

Please do feel to ask away your questions. Many of us here on the forum have had Fibro for a long time and we are all happy to give you as many tips and hints as we can.

If you need any help navigating the forum please don't hesitate to give me a shout.

Take care of each other.

Lu x


PS Here is a copy of my easy to follow guide on how to lock your posts. Click on the blue line below:

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Hi there Hidden Welcome to our wonderful forum, I'm sure you will love it and find it invaluable chatting to others who are going through the same as you, or (for you, your partner) at different stages of their lives with fibromyalgia.

I'm sure when your girlfriend sees what support we give each other and friends she would make,, she will join us too, I hope so ☺

I'm afraid anxiety is often something that comes along with fibro. along with lots of other symptoms. Can I ask you how long has she had it for ? Is she on medication for her anxiety or fibro ?.

It is very common for people with fibro to push themselves to hard and then have a fibro flare, which can be solely, an arm really achy & stiff because it's been used to repetitively used for, say, washing a window, to a full blown flare & whole body aches. The scale is vast and everyone is so different and pain and many people with fibro have other conditions to deal with also, which makes it a very complex condition.

The best thing to do is what your doing my friend, looking for as much information as you can & getting support and pls feel free to answer as many questions as you like, there are always someone around to chat to.and i look forward to chatting with you on the forum

Peace, luv n light

Jan xx

It's a good idea to lock your posts to the community, so it's not open to the internet. If you look to right of screen you will see under "Pinned Posts" a link to simple instructions on how to lock it. You will also get more replies on a locked post ☺

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Okay. Thank you. I will go look and be back :-)

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I can't find the pinned posts yet!!!:-(

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Hi Hidden

I sincerely hope that you and your girlfriend are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? Welcome to the forum and it is wonderful to make your acquaintance.

The pinned posts are on the right hand side of your screen my friend.

I want to sincerely wish you both all the best of luck and please take care of yourself my friend.

All my hopes and dreams for the both of you



Thank you 😊

Things are a bit tense at the moment. She has been feeling so exhausted this past two weeks but insists on carrying on as normal, to keep her routine!

She's been snappy recently, but I get that, as she's so tired!!

But I don't argue with her, I let her get it off her chest

I just wish she would let me help more!

The evenings, she is more relaxed 😊

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I am so genuinely sorry to read that my friend and I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck.


Yes, I remember now, there are times when she is sooo sensitive to touch!!!



She's sounds like me bless her I also work full time I love my job but I am struggling to keep it I try so hard to do everything thing keep everyone happy then the pain kicks in my mind goes foggy and confused 🤷‍♀️ so when I get home I sit trying to pull myself together which means I don't talk I am on one settee my husband on the other I love him and hate being moody but he's got health problems so he's the same lol

But it's lovely she's got such a caring partner bless you

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Thank you rose

I don't mind her being on the other sofa, as she stretches out!

The evenings seem more relaxed than the day times!( for my girlfriend I mean). She chats more and isn't so "moody"!!

I love her to bits tho. And I will be there to support her!

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This weekend was the worst I have seen my girlfriend suffer from anxiety!

It was so bad, she would not listen to me about anything I tried to talk about!

It was best I let her be alone and have space,but she has been very distant recently and does not talk to me like she used to!

She's not wanting any support or help!

She's been sleeping a lot more during the day as she hardly sleeps at night!

I've suggested she go see her doctor for some advice on sleeping tablets,but she said it's a waste of time going!


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