To the Wives, Husband's, Girlfriends, Boyfriends and Partners of anyone who has Fibromyalgia ....

[MKMale]

Hello all,

I have tried writing this message so many times but I always end up a crying mess before I get to the end .. So straight to it!

I have Fibromyalgia !

Fibromyalgia has destroyed any relationship I have had in the last 16 years, including the relationship before my Fibro diagnosis (6 years before and less than a year after) and the ones after (1that lasted 4:years and we even started to arrange a wedding) But Our Fun Filled Friend Fibromyalgia doesn't want me to be with anyone else and eventually they don't see me as a person. They only see me as Fibro k

So as someone with Fibromyalgia and alone I have to say THANK YOU !

I know I am not lucky enough to have someone that is strong enough to see beyond the Fibromyalgia, I do know that there are many on here that are lucky enough to have a truly wonderful person who DOES see the person and not the Fibro.

Sorry for my rambling ...

My point is ..

Even though I am not one of the lucky ones. I feel I must say Thank You for being so strong. Thank You for loving the person and not the Fibro!

And as a footnote ....

To all my fellow Fibro Friends .... Even if you have said it several times today. Please tell your loved ones that you love them and thank them for seeing beyond the Fibro and only see You (the person) and love you.

Hopefully dispite my rambling I have managed to make sense???

I hope today finds you a little better than yesterday.

Blessings Be

Drew

[Trikki]

Hi Drew....I am sorry you feel so sad and alone....I know it's not the same but we are here for you at any time, supporting each other and understanding what Fibro does to us especially in our relationships. Some of us do have that someone special who looks after us, but I know from my experience that there are times when he despairs of me and my condition....unconditional love I suppose. Have you thought about joining a local support group or been referred to your GP for Pain Management where you will meet others....I will certainly remember to tell my OH how much I appreciate his care and support and how much it and he means to me....x

[MKMale in reply to Trikki]

Hello Trikki,

Thank you for your kind words.

I have to say I have been lucky enough to have had great medical support when first diagnosed and have been on Chronic Pain and Chronic Fatigue Management courses years ago.

I have tried a few local groups in the past, but they never seem to last, or don't do any meetings... I am very happy if my post means an extra thank you for your partner... That was what I was hoping would happen.

Blessings Be

[Dizzytwo Moderator]

Hello Drew, its nice to meet you. I have suffered with fibro for 30+yrs and I have often asked myself how would I feel or cope if mine and my hubbies roles were reversed. Honestly I don't know. I would like to think I could be as caring and understanding as he is with me.

It takes a very special person to cope with a loved one with any type of chronic illness not just fibro. But there is people out there who care and can see past our disabilities you just have not found the right one for you but there out there so please don't despair.

Sometimes I think when we are ill we can forget just how hard it can be on our partners,friends and family. Sometimes we can get caught up in our own little bubble of pain and frustration and can not see they are also suffering too.

Hang in there you have found a great source of support and friendship right here so that's a start. I hope we see you popping in and saying hi more often. I hope you enjoy your day xx

Mo

[Creativeness1]

Hi MKMale I hope your OK my friend sending hugs xx

[ukmsmi4]

Oh Drew, I'm so sorry to hear you say that. It's really enough of a struggle as it is isn't it.

I have to admit upfront I am one of the lucky ones. But I do totally understand and agree with what you say. My husband is a brick and I'd be totally lost without him.

I think part of the reason why he is as good to me as he is, is that he himself has chronic illness. In fact he has had to put up with such issues for longer than me. Because of that I feel he better understands the issues I go through. That's not to say that it's easy for either of us. We are both (obviously) only human and tensions can of course rise and on occasion even explode. But we somehow manage to work through things. And he keeps telling me that when we married it was 'for better or worse, in sickness and in health', which is true but I'm very well aware that it's not as easy to put into practice as it is to say.

On the one hand I would say that the fact your partners have failed to understand your issues says more about them than it does about you or your condition. I do believe that, but on the other hand I can see that no matter how kindhearted or caring we are, we never really understand chronic illness and how to live with it every day until we suffer it ourselves.

Life with any chronic illness is difficult both for those who suffer it and those that are close to us. It can change so much for our own lives which must inevitably change life for those around us. And that in itself is tough to cope with. We all want to live as 'normal' a life as possible but that life keeps changing and not always for the better. Chronic illness can take over our lives no matter how hard we try to manage it and work with it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I can understand that living with chronic illness whether it is yours or your partners, is harder than living a healthy normally active life. It takes a lot more work and commitment from both partners to make it work. It's a special person indeed who can cope with that without ever actually truly understanding such issues from their own experience.

And because of all that I 100% agree. We do need to tell our partners as frequently as we can that we are so grateful they are special people to do what they do for us.

As others say, don't forget that you always have us or other support groups which are all full of people who completely 'get it' because they/we are going through it too.

Stay strong Drew, we are here to help if you need us.

Love and hugs, Margaret.xxx 💜🤗💜🤗💜

[MKMale]

Thank You All for your kind words.

I am thankful that I am part of the group and the support from you all.

I know it may not have come across as I had hoped, but I wanted my post to give credit to all the partners of anyone with Fibro to get the credit they deserve.

I will admit that I am feeling pretty low and lonely. I just wish I could change things. But I know that I can't. This is my life now, constant pain, soul destroying with no human contact.

However I have to say Thank You All, for your support and kindness.

Blessings Be

[TheAuthor in reply to MKMale]

Hi MKMale

I am so genuinely sorry to read this my friend and I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck and please take care of yourself my friend.

I always count myself as a very lucky person as I have a wonderful wife and family.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[Kayshasmith1]

My partner is amazing & I tell her every single day how much I love her, going through a flare up at the minute & she's cooked for me, helped me clean my house (I have 2 cats so it can't wait until I get better) & she tickles me back to sleep every single night ❤️

Despite being ill with her chrons at the minute she still has the patience for my fibro, it does cause us arguments sometimes But only because we are both ill & in pain so tempers get irritated not because either of us have done wrong by the other.

She's my spoonie soul mate & I hope everyone is lucky enough to find their own 😁💕

[Onyameba]

Hi Drew, what a strong person you are! Thank you for reminding me of how lucky I am. I don't always see things from this angle and mostly feel sorry for myself when he gets a little tired. Stay strong & gentle hugs. x

[MKMale in reply to Onyameba]

Hello Onyameba,

Thank you for your kind words. I know it's not always easy to see things from the other side. It's easy to think that a simple Thank You, doesn't actually mean much. However, in my opinion often there is nothing more effect than the simple Thank You. When it's said with honest Thanks I know it is the only thing a person wants to be told....

Hope today finds you a little better than yesterday

Blessings Be

[Huskywomen]

Have you tried volunteering or taking up a hobby, volunteering would help you meet people that would most likely to understand as people that volunteer have most likely suffer a disability aswell, I definitely did that is how I started up my husky rescue and ended up with three lovely huskies that seem to know when I am not having a good day and curl up beside me, i.e. today example.

My hobby is collecting salt and peppers, got three display cabinets full of them, I hope this gives you encouragement,

and some ideas. Take care and look after yourself 👍🏻❤️❤️🐾🐾🐾