Bad night with bits and pieces

Hi guys, this is the first post I have put In, even though I have answered a couple of posts, so I guess it's my time to write something...

just haveing one of those nights with lots of pain, taking my Fentanyl lozenges, Diazepam and Venlafaxine, but still no rest for the wicked.

All a bit annoying cause if it's not pain from fibro it's pain from the cancer, although I am classed as a survivor I have constant pain all the time because of the type of chemotherapy and the amount in such sort time, messed up my body and on top of that I was diagnosed with fibro 2 years ago but docs say I probably have had that most of my life anyway plus I am a severe asthmatic since birth, etc etc

So they don't even know what pain is what, if it's from fibro or damage from cancer.... guess some of us get it all in life when others don't get even a cold , normally happens to the best of people when the worst people in society don't get nothing, so sometimes I just ask myself what the f*** I must have done in a previous life to deserve this one!!!

Anyway I am going to try to sleep a couple of hours till my pain kicks in again and have to take some more Fentanyl just to ease of the pain enough to rest some more.

Hope all get a reasonable what's left of the night !!

10 Replies

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  • Hi Mandandm

    Welcome to the forum and it is wonderful to make your acquaintance. I have pasted you a link below to our mother site, FMA UK which hosts loads of useful Fibro information:

    fmauk.org/

    I really am so genuinely sorry to read of how you are suffering and struggling my friend, and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to your pain. I want to genuinely wish you all the best of luck, and please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken

  • hi Mandan l feel for you, I guess you have a right to feel bitter. But me I have found, there is good and bad in everyone, whether suffering or not. And no one deserves to be ill, (well perhaps a few) But when I am upbeat and kindly to other people it makes me feel a bit better. when I was having my cancer treated everybody was so nice to me take care Julie xxxxx

  • Thanks Julie (uggycat) it's just one too many nights for me, I have been battling all my life and ten years ago struck down with cancer on top and now at 38 I have fibro, cancer with widespread metastasis, asthma, anxiety, severe eating disorder, plus a ton of other things, so just once in a while I need to let of some steam, that's all.

    I have been living in Spain most of my life (27 years) and have come back to England just over 3 months ago as i have no family in Spain anymore as my parents are dead and here in England I have just a aunt who is helping me sort ESA and things like that, which are taking a long time to sort out because of haveing to be here for a certain amount of time before they will help even though they have recognised me as being special needs.

    Like to get housing done, but yesterday after not hearing from them since I sent the forms in august, they just turned around and said they haven't got anything and I have to start again... more delays, my aunt she is great but has a partner who has managed to fool everyone with a bogus illness and gets benefits and PIP and thinks he know everything amd knows that I have found him out and that my aunt is questioning if he is really ill or just putting on a show so he doesn't have to work and be the center of attention all the timeand just causes problems, so I whant out of the house asap and also because I am a very independent person anyway and do not like to be a burden to anyone.

    Anyway I don't whant it all to look like a great big drama, there are people worse off than me in the world so i just stick it out as much as I can and see what happens, thanks for the message uggycat (by the way I have 2 cats, at least I know they are always on my side of things 😉.

    Thanks for listening!!!

    Mandan

  • Thanks for sharing all that, no one can be worse off than you course your you, and can only feel what your feeling. l have had a life a bit like you. Was in a home when I was three, and was beaten for something that I could not help. still affects me. separated from my brother. could go on and on. was treated for lukemia 2 years ago. Have my check up next week. Been in a rehab, that was so bad it felt like prison. Some one that was supposed to help me nearly stole my house. That's enough I think. But I do know that if I start to get bitter that wil be the end of me. I really hope things get better for you. Nothing stays the same, so just have to hang in there. Perhaps the citizens advice couldhelp with some of your problems they have helped me a lot. xxxxxx

  • I hope you have a more comfortable day, and can get some rest.

    Soft gentle hugs coming your way.

  • Thanks kitten-Kat23, just what the doc has ordered me some, although as soon as I go to the kitchen I will probebley find it a mess and have to clean it even though not my mess to clean in the first place, (? Hi but my aunt not here for 4 days, and I know she likes it all up to date and clean!)

    Anyway i will just rest day and things can get sorted tomorrow..

    Thanks kitten-kat2355 have a lovely day !!

  • Take care x.

  • What a difficult situation with your aunt and her partner...you really don't need a bogus benefit claimant when you are struggling yourself....I hope your day is a good one for you and l hope you get sorted soon....x

  • I am sorry to hear of your health struggles and delays in housing. You are a survivor and you will get through this, just take a day at a time.

    Have you spoken to someone at MacMillan, the cancer charity? They may be able to guide you regarding benefits and welfare as they see this all the time, and then it won't put your aunt in such a difficult position.

    Also a letter from your doctor explaining your health issues is helpful with the housing department and get you up the list more quickly.

    I hope you will have a better day today.

    Kay

  • Welcome to posting lovely to hear from you.

    So sorry that you are in so much pain and it is difficult for them to treat it when they don't know what is causing what. I always think it is worse at night as there are no distractions.

    Yes I have decided I was extremely wicked in a past life. I must have been a mad axe murderer or something. My friend believes that we come back many times and keep on practising getting it right and will eventually come back as a person who has a happy life. I am sure many on our forum would like it to be their turn.

    Do hope that you have been able to get some sleep now😴😴😴. Look forward to your future posts x

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