Fibromyalgia Action UK
40,235 members52,347 posts

Advice needed please

Hi, I'm new to this page & also after years of visiting specialists, doctors & being poked & prodded, ive just in the last 6 months been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I'm only 20 & currently in university in my third year training to be a mental health nurse. However, as you all will know and understand just how hard it is to get out of bed some days due to aches, pains, migraines, stomach aches & fatigue (etc the list goes on), I've been missing quite a lot of uni, now I have a wonderful tutor who has supported my needs to be off & helps me catch up in my spare time BUT the problem actually being my partner. I need some advice on how to try and get my boyfriend to understand, I sometimes feel he just thinks I'm being lazy or can't be bothered going in when In fact that's not the case at all, how on earth can I explain to him what it's really like? I tried the spoon theory but that didn't help to explain the pain I feel just the fatigue. PLEASE HELP:(

5 Replies

Morning and welcome, not much advice really but my hubby is the same, expects me to carry on as normal and still do school run and house work, shopping, cooking, gave up work 3 years ago as couldn't carry on, you could go on the mother site and print off all the information about fibromyalgia , sometimes people take in more when it's written down, love and wishes to you x

1 like

Hi Char_Green95

Welcome to the forum. I too have recently been diagnosed after years of symptoms. I'm sorry to say that my partner is also totally unsupportive! He still refuses to believe me about my condition, will not help me out with anything in the house, will not even look Fibromyalgia up online or read the booklet the rheumatologist gave me! I just get called weak and lazy even though I do everything at home, from looking after the kids, shopping, cleaning, walking the dog! It doesn't help my condition as it just makes me more depressed and stressed! I really hope your partner will take notice and listen.

All the best

Jo x

1 like

Hi Char_Green95. Welcome to the forum. So sorry that you're having to deal with fibro at such a young age and that your partner cannot or will not understand how it affects you.

If you go to our mother site ( you will find a lot of information to help you. Perhaps reading explanations by experts in the field will bring home to him the reality of your symptoms.

I do hope you are able to continue with your studies with your new tutor. Avoiding stress is so important as it increases all the other woes of the disease. Arguing your case with your boyfriend certainly won't help you. Perhaps you could make it clear that you won't argue with him. Give him the information and it's up to him.

I do hope you can find a way through this. There is always somebody here and we all know just what you're going through so don't hesitate, night or day. Our insomniacs spend the night here telling jokes, commiserating and sharing ways to deal with the pain. We're a friendly bunch and you'll always be welcome.

Sending you gentle hugs. Anna xxx


Thank you all for the support! Best wishes to all of you xxx

1 like

HI Char_Green95

I sincerely hope that you are feeling as well as you possibly can be today? Welcome to the forum and it is wonderful to make your acquaintance. I have pasted you a link below to a section of printable booklets that you may find handy? Just give them to your boyfriend to read and hopefully he will have a better understanding:

I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck, and please take care of yourself.

All my hopes and dreams for you



You may also like...