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Fibromyalgia Action UK
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New! Meds and working.

Hi all!

After a long two year battle and various tests and blood tests and everything else you could think of, I have recently in the last few weeks been diagnosed with Fibro.

I am 20 years old and feel as though I cannot keep up with my life outside of my jobs. I am a dental nurse Tuesday's and Friday's 6.40am till 3.30pm and the rest of the time I waitress which can mean getting home as late as 2am.

Because of all the energy I put into work, I am bed bound anytime I am not at work.

I have been put on amitriptyline after finding naproxen doesn't work for me at all. My GP said I must take them between 9.30 and 10pm at night to sort my night sleeping out. Any later, and he said I am not allowed to take them. So whenever I work later than that, I cannot take them. And if I'm on my early start, I cannot take them. So guess who isn't taking her medication that's meant to make my symptoms and life a little easier?

Alongside all my symptoms that make work and life hard, I feel as though I'm not living my life. It's been discussed a lot that I should give up my waitressing and just do my part time nursing. However, I couldn't afford to just outright do this without help.

My other half and I live together. He owns the house, I live with him. We are not engaged or married. However he is on a very good wage but our finances our completely and utterly seperate. But it looks as though just because we live together and due to his wage, I won't be entitled to anything.

I want to manage my symptoms with my medication that I need to be able to take. I need to stop over exerting myself at work. I need time to recover from things. I am missing out on so much in my life. I can't cope at work anymore, I'm in too much pain and too exhausted all the time, I can't keep up.

What do I do?

Feeling alone, in pain and absolutely exhausted - a 20 year old with no one to turn to.

13 Replies

Sorry you feel so wretched. Something's got to give. I'd say give the waitressing and stay with the day job. You need to have a serious talk with your man too.

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You really need to start thinking about yourself in all this, Fibro robs us of any sort of life - easy to say but not to believe. Speak to your partner and explain the situation to him, there's lots of good advice available on this forum, I'm sure admin will point you in the right direction. Would it be possible to cut back on some of your waitressing or maybe consider another part time job with easier hours?

Everyone on here will give you support and there's always someone who is willing to listen to you, please don't feel alone in all this, Linda xx

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Thanks all for your wonderful responses and support.

In an ideal world, I would continue doing my dental nursing two days a week and give up waitressing altogether. It would mean I'm still working at least somewhat and doing what I love, whilst still being able to cope a little better with my symptoms.

My boyfriend is incredibly supportive. He wants to help me financially but I'm not okay with that as I have always looked after myself and paid my own way. And that's ideally what I would still like to do.

I feel alone because people can sympathise but no one can empathise and actually understand how I am really feeling - I put on a good fighting face, but I hate to admit, I am struggling.

And kelsam21 - there's no concern with my housing, we live together and that's how it's gonna stay ☺️ He bought our house with his hard earned money, I could never have been able to afford to buy us somewhere. It is his and I will never take that away from him. He pays the mortgage, I pay the bills. We have a good deal ☺️


Hello LexieLou95

Welcome to the forum :) You may not feel it, but you have been diagnosed pretty quickly.

I feel your pain because I was diagnosed when I was 20 (back in the dinosaur year of 1980 :) )

Have a look at our mother site for more information on Fibromyalgia fmauk.org

There are some pages on there that may help your other half to understand what we go through every day.

As to your medication I take Amitryptyline. My GP has told me on many occasions to take it 12 hours before I want to get up the next day. So I take mine between 6-7pm.

If you are still struggling with pain there are other medications that you can try in addition to the Amitryptyline.

My personal advice would be to you to take a very deep breath and slow down. You are fighting too much which will just add to stress pain and fatigue.

I think it may be a good idea for you to get some advice from our own benefits adviser Janet. I will pop back and give you her details at the end of this message. The question I would ask her is, can you claim anything in your own right? I don't think so, but it is worth just asking the question.

Have you sat down and had a chat with your other half about the amount of work you are working and to see whether there is any chance of your cutting your hours?

Make a list of all the things you need to do (check benefits situation, look at fmau.org etc) and then you know what you need to tackle.

Seeing things written down, and being able to tick them off does help to relieve some stress. From what you are saying it is all building up in your head and causing you to feel lost.

The forum is full of the most lovely, kind friends who will do their best to support and help you.

I really hope some of this helps. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them.

Wishing you less pain and more peace

Lu xx


** Here is the link I promised you for Janet our benefits adviser:


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Hi Lu.

Thank you so much for your caring, detailed and kind response.

My other half is all for me dropping my hours. But it's about me being able to pay my own way. I will definitely speak to Janet, thank you for pointing me her way.

I feel like I'm pushing myself too much and I know I'm suffering for it. You are completely right, I just need to slow down. I feel so confused by everything at the moment.

With amitriptyline, my GP knows if I take it too early, I won't be able to drive myself home, and if I take it too late, I won't be able to get up. He knows and understands my working situation, but he is concerned at me pushing myself too hard. All my energy goes into work, and work is hard enough with fatigue and pain, and so by the time I get home or have any day off, I go straight to bed and stay there.

Thank you so incredibly much for your warmth and all of the advice. I will definitely make my way through it all!

I already feel I've found a place where I can go where people know exactly how I'm feeling, in all ways ☺️

Thank you so much, once again ☺️

Lexie xx

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I've been on Naproxen for years now. I was told to just take them twice daily (every 12 hours in other words), with nothing about specific times though. Do you kn why your doctor said between 9:30 and 10pm and not any later? Only I looked up the side effects (I wish I hadn't as I take Naproxen and I just found out some odd things I've noticed over the years could be down to them), but confusingly it causes drowsiness OR insomnia, depending on which list of known side-effects you look at (both from reliable websites as well). It does also have some interactions with other meds, so I can't really guess why he said that.

If you can, I would go back and explain that because of the hours you work, you are finding you can't take them and so what is the best time for you to take them?

I hate to say this, but does your doc KNOW the times you work? Only it does sound a little like he has given you times that are suitable for someone who is going to bed between 11pm and midnight perhaps, not someone who is working your hours. I am wondering if he meant two hours before you go to bed, and just assumed you went to bed between 11:30pm and midnight (or forgot that you work so late). I could easily be wrong, as it is only a suspicion I have. But it might be worth checking up on?

I hope it goes better for you, you must be working hard to do those jobs with fibro.

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Hi there.

Thank you so much for your response. It's amitriptyline he's told me to take at that time. He is aware of my hours which is why he's told me I can't take them after that time as I won't be able to get up for work the next day if I'm on an early. And I can't take them earlier because they'll make me too drowsy. He's basically said if i can't take them at that time, don't take them. And so far I've had one night where I could take it in the last two weeks.

I think he's on the same path as me, that I should be giving up my waitressing. He was concerned as to why I'm putting myself through that and I explained I just can't afford to not do it. Which is why I'm in the situation now where i want to give it up for my health, but if I'm not entitled to anything, I have to keep going and I know it will make me worse.

Thank you for your message 😔


Oops, yes of course it is. Sorry, fibro fog I think, or just me needing a brain transfusion...

Now I get why he said at that time. I too thought that perhaps all that work is too much for someone with fibro, but then it affects all of us differently. And to be honest, giving up the work will probably mean a drastic cut in your money and I can understand why no one would want that.

I truly don't know what to suggest, as what is good for your health will not be good for your finances. The only thing I can think of is have you considered trying for a different job than waitressing? One with hours that are more compatible? I doubt the restaurant would be willing to let you change you hours, so sadly it might be the only way round it?

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Hi Lexielou, I would like to say welcome to our forum.I think you will enjoy. I know there are benefits that you may be eligible for but living in the US not sure of qualifications. I wish you the best!! Have a good day.Peck🐤

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Thank you so much, I feel welcomed already 😘

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Hi LexieLou95

Welcome to the forum and it is wonderful to make your acquaintance. I am so genuinely sorry to read of your suffering and struggling and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to these issues.

There is something that you could discuss with your doctor, and this is that Amitriptyline has a sister drug called Nortriptyline and this will not make you feel as tired as Amitriptyline because it does not contain the sedative component. I take this myself and I have found it quite useful.

I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck, and please take care of yourself.

All my hopes and dreams for you



Oh bless you Lexielou, I feel for you so much. I was just like you but I was older, had 3 kids, worked & quite a big house to keep up. I think I was even going to college as well.

I worked in a children's home as a res worker & shifts, same as you & i just used to take amitriptyline when even & what ever time I went to bed, I had to or I wouldn't have slept for days.

You have to have them in your system continuously for them to have full effect. They do help to relax the muscles & calms the mind a bit too. I take them a lot earlier.

What strength are they ?

You know what you need to do already so you are half way there & things will get better as you create coping strategies. It's sounds like you are having a brain overload at the moment, you are very young to be diagnosed with Fibro & it takes time to sink in & actually come to terms with it and then try to manage it.

Why don't you have some time off work sick & decide then what you need to do to improve your life.

Peace, luv n light

Jan x

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Sorry you are having trouble with the whole living with someone thing. I really hate that. My daughter is having that problem also. She lives with her b/f but all bills are 100% separate. yet the government expects him to support her. It is totally unfair in my books. If you lived together as room mates they would not expect them to support you. I have hated that rule since I ran into the problem back when I was a single mom. As for not taking the meds I can understand why. When I took that stuff I was out cold for about 12 hours. It was an awesome sleep but does not work well when you are working the next morning. Have you talked to your doctor about another medication? one that does not effect your sleep so badly.


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