No help

[Manu2015]

Hello everyone I don't know what to do my gf ain't supporting what so ever with my fibromyalgia

[Hazel_Angelstar Administrator FMA UK Staff]

Is it maybe that she doesn't understand fibro enough to support you. Perhaps she would read some information. Look up letter to normals - excellent article in describing what having fibro is like to family and friends x

[Manu2015 in reply to Hazel_Angelstar]

I'm tried showing her info about fibromyalgia she's not interested in reading it

[Newquay in reply to Manu2015]

Sorry but that's not excepable at all put up or shut up I say.

She would at least try for your sake.

I really hope she changers her mind.

[Sorebones]

Your gf is probably scared to death as she doesn't understand the hell that is fibro. She could be a bit of an ostrich and be burying her head in the sand afraid that if she acknowledges your Fibro she may not like what she finds in the info you offer her. A lot of people can't deal with illness on any level your gf could be one of them.

Go with that at first. Ask her how she feels about your fibro? Ask her why she doesn't want to know more.

If you get no further forward you may have to rethink your relationship. Fibro is hard enough to endure, we don't need an unsupportive partner. Harsh, sorry. You asked.

Hope things improve for you 😺

[Manu2015 in reply to Sorebones]

It's a sorebones I'm going to talk to her tomo about it

[stumpedok]

I think sore bones has given you some good advice. We need to remember that when a diagnosis of a long term illness is given it affects not just the sufferer but those nearest to them. Maybe try putting yourself in her shoes for a minute to try to understand it from her position? I don't know how long you have been together, whether you had any plans to start a family etc .....A diagnosis of a long term illness changes the landscape of a relationship. You clearly expect her to be responding to this new situation in a certain way and are annoyed that she isn't. Perhaps worth remembering that neediness can be off putting to some. I agree with Sorebones. ...you need to be talking together about this and thinking about both of you (beware the me,me,me scenario - this isn't all about you). What about looking at wider family/friends support rather than expecting it all to come from your girlfriend. ...However harsh this might sound, reality is that not all partners are up to supporting a long term ill partner....It sounds like you need to find out where she stands.

I hope you get the outcome you are hoping for.

[Manu2015 in reply to stumpedok]

Thank u for the advice stumpdok I don't want it to be all about me but I'm finding it hard to deal with I just want my gf to support me

[Keeleybee]

I personally did say to my husband it's forever and I'm probably to get worse so you have a chance to run for the hills..... Luckily he didn't but I did try to think of him in this situation. I try like mad to not show how much I hurt and make things normal as possible.

iv had a fair few health issue's, operations and cancer scares and for the first time in 3 years he qactually sent me a link about fibro I took this as a big acceptance on his behalf and it took 3 years. I meet him when I was 16 so been together a long time.

I do hope she comes round tho.....

x

[Manu2015 in reply to Keeleybee]

I've had fibro for 5 years in oct and she's still not appected it she even thinks I'm worse cos of fibro course I'm on told her wasent doing my exercises slowly enough and my mucles are really weak nw but she thinks that is stuipd

[Keeleybee in reply to Manu2015]

It makes perfect sense Manu. It proves in itself if you have lost muscle mass/strength you have been in a bad way. I have no strength in my arm's and can't carry alot either.

Do you think she is just being nasty? X

[Manu2015 in reply to Keeleybee]

Maybe cos she always says when I've got a docs appointment that im always at the docs I live there

[Keeleybee in reply to Manu2015]

Well thats not fair on you.

[Manu2015 in reply to Keeleybee]

I know keeleybee

[Sorebones in reply to Keeleybee]

I said the same to my OH. I gave him the chance to go.

He has put up with a lot. I was in and out of hospital with gynae problems in my late 20's, a nervous breakdown......etc etc etc

I too try not to show my pain. OH knows me too well and can see right through me. He never makes a fuss about it, he just does things to help when he sees I'm having a bad day. I always make sure that I thank him for those thoughtful gestures. It's a two way street 😺

[Manu2015 in reply to Sorebones]

Not in my case only thin my gf does is entry bin when it's full but says I should do it sorebones

[Sorebones in reply to Manu2015]

What? Apologies in advance for the following question, but please, tell me why you are with your gf? Are you both happy? Do you love her? I know it's difficult when Fibro brings you to your knees and knocks the stuffing out of you, but you really need to grow a pair 😺

[Manu2015 in reply to Sorebones]

I'm going to speak to her about it tomo sorebones

[Keeleybee in reply to Sorebones]

Yeah I always say thank you and when I say sorry he always reminds me not to. The only thing he moans about is not having any room in bed from all my pillows hahahahah x

[Sorebones in reply to Keeleybee]

Ha ha. That I understand lol. My niece got one of the u shaped pillows I was on about yesterday. She and her OH have a king sized bed, so space not quite so tight. Her OH nearly exploded when she started calling it Sean and told him it was after Sean Bean. I can't blame him there x

[Keeleybee in reply to Sorebones]

Ohhhhh Sean bean is tasty ha!

I'm so going to start naming my pillows! Oh vin diesel will be my pillow one LMAO

[Sorebones in reply to Keeleybee]

ROFL. Don't blame me ha ha. I'll tell Gerard when I get to bed lol xx

[Manu2015 in reply to Keeleybee]

My gf can't understand how one can I can be fine and doing things and another I'm not she's blaming the fibro course I've just started keeleybee

[Keeleybee in reply to Manu2015]

But thats fibro all over mate... One day you manage the next you just can't.!

And they wonder why most of us feel like we're losing our mind's x

[BlueMermaid3 in reply to Keeleybee]

Hello my love (Keeley)

What a beautiful heart you have. Telling your OH that he could leave due to your illness. That was a very brave and selfless thing to do.

It never ceases to amaze me how strong people with Fibro are. I know we have to be. No choice. But nevertheless .... Still truly incredible

Hugs Lu xx

[Keeleybee in reply to BlueMermaid3]

Aw thank you lu, yes I suppose it was selfless I want his life to be happy lu, we also made the decision that I'm just not well enough to have more children which is fine as we have one child would of loved to give him a boy tho. But we just got to make the most of life even if everyday is a struggle x

[Manu2015 in reply to Keeleybee]

Yea that's too true

[BlueMermaid3 in reply to Keeleybee]

It took me 10 years to conceive. I never thought I'd be able to have children. I'm so blessed to have them and count my blessings every day.

You may never have had a boy anyway. My mum had 5 girls!

Knowing your limits is really good. You've made a great decision.

Love & hugs Lu xx

[Shadows-walker]

Hi was seeing my fella for 9 months I tryed to get him to understand how unwell I was in the beginning he said he didn't need to know he said ,he'd be here forever he wanted to marry me but ,he's not he didn't understand how bad a bad day was and sorry when he made my stress levels so bad my body couldn't cope at all ,we broke up 4 months ago and I am still not anywhere as stable as I was I am hoping I get there again, but please put you first at the first sign of trouble ,I know it's hard ,but don't let things spiral out of control as I did , I still have days where I miss him but friends have stepped in ,and are supporting me more ,as are my children as they realised after the fact as well . And I have had a lot of support from here ,HU as well please be careful I don't know how long you have been with yo GF but just be aware ,she may be fine but ignorance is not always best .

Take care be kind to you

Shadow 😘

[Manu2015 in reply to Shadows-walker]

Thank u shadow and sorry to hear that and been with my gf about 8 years nw

[Shadows-walker in reply to Manu2015]

You have a good foundation to sort things out then ,just give her some time to sort her head out try and get her to come to a pain and fatigue clinic with you ,that has helped a friend of mine so much and her husband ,they are stronger because of it ,he gets support now ,and he's brilliant .

Good luck.

Chris

[Manu2015 in reply to Shadows-walker]

Thank u Chris I will try and get her to read letter normals

[seren1970]

When I was diagnosed I told my partner if he wants to leave best to go now he didn't thank god he is finding it hard he is very understanding but he refuses to read up on it he keeps saying I will read it later but later never comes I do feel so sad for him and he nursed he's we for 7 years before she past away 11 years ago we are getting married next year I hope I'm not in a flare x also he did say the other day I need to get used to you being like this which I suppose it's hard for him I think we need to put ourselves in our partners shoes how would we be if they had it sorry to ramble on I wish you luck with your gf maybe she need's time to really take it in

[Manu2015 in reply to seren1970]

Thank u seren1970 and she's had nearly 5 years if she had this and not me I would support her cos I lv her

[seren1970]

His wife sorry for mistakes

[Newquay]

Hiya sorry to here it but try to look at it from her point of view she won't understand.

I was in same position but my husband while he didn't understand he was very good, and let's face it if we who have it don't understand how can they.

Unfortunately my husband collapsed at work and it turn out he has CFS so he understand much more now it was just a pitty he learnt the hard way.

He was a wagon driver and by law not aloud to drive for a living and we had a fight for sick pay but due to a guy call Carl's he said under section 29/35 he was aloud 15 points because he would be a danger to others as well as him self.

All he gets is sick pay come on who would go down from £500 plus a week to £100 jus or the fun of it.

Give her this blog and ask her to read so of it from other people it might help.

All the best

G

[Manu2015 in reply to Newquay]

Ok thank u Newquay

[Manu2015]

She wouldent do that she already thinks that I live at the doc how often I go

[stumpedok]

I m finding your situation puzzling. You say you've been together 8 years and had Fibro for the last 5 of those so why has it all become such an issue for you now? Surely you have both had to deal with your having Fibro years ago? Yet you appear only to be doing a Fibro Management course now as if you have only just recently been diagnosed! All very confusing!

[Manu2015 in reply to stumpedok]

No that's wrong stumpdok I was diagnosed 5 years ago in oct and I didn't know there was a fibro course that I could go on and it's always been a issue cos I had a breakdown 4 and half years ago

[TheAuthor]

Hi Manu2015

I am so genuinely sorry to read this and I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck with finding some resolution and relief to these issues.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken