Fibromyalgia and pregnant

[Racket1992]

Struggling with fibro whilst pregnant with first baby. 29 weeks pregnant and feeling awful. Pregnancy wasn't planned and now feeling guilty because as much as I am in love with my unborn bubba part of me doesn't want to be pregnant anymore because of the pain. I feel like an awful person :;(

[Shadows-walker]

Your not an arwful person your just coming to terms with whats happing with your body , you already love your baby and it will I am sure be a blessing ,I was told at 17 I shouldn't have children but didn't take any notice and I can say I went on to have 3 and they have been such a blessing ,did have a real telling off from my consultant with abbi no 3 but she's been an absolute star ,don't beat yourself up ,take it one day at a time and you will be fine , remember to pace ask if you can go on a pain and fatigue clinic ,take all the help you can and remember be kind and gentle with yourself your hormones are all over the placate ,which won't be helping ,but you will be fine I and all the other mums will tell you I had a husband but I raised the children you will find an inner strength it just comes your instincts will take over just rest now have a nice bath perhaps talk to your GP or husband ,partner, mum but please don't stress it won't help you or your little one ,I would give you a hug if I could .

Take care

Shadow 😘

[Hidden]

Oh sweetheart, pls don't feel terrible, as shadows-walker has said your hormones are all over the place which will be making your fibro pain worse. Do you have enough support?. Pls go and see your GP or nurse and see if they can help.

I know it's ok for us to say that everything will be ok, but I'm sure that it will. We are here for you anytime, if you need to chat

Sending you lots of warm soothing soft hugs,

Elizabeth xxxxxx

[BlueMermaid3]

Hello there

I have had Fibro, Chronic Fatigue, depression and anxiety since I was 20. I am now 54. I managed to work and have 2 wonderful children who are now 18 and 15.

Your hormones will be playing all sorts of games with you at the moment. One minute you will be quite happy and the next near to tears.

It is completely normal for you to be having the feelings you are having. Some people struggle with pregnancy without facing the problems of having Fibro as well.

Remind yourself of the things you are doing well. I know it's hard but try to focus on the positives if you can.

Have you had a chat with your midwife as to how you are feeling? They are very understanding and may be able to put your mind at rest about certain things.

Don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself. Have some nice warm bubbly baths, lots of early nights and get as much rest as you can.

Take care of yourself

Gentle hugs

Lu xx

[Regnofibro1]

I was told I couldn't have kids. Well two beautiful daughters. They are so worth all the pain and everything else. Stay strong sweets and try your best to take it easy. One of the things I found that helped with the pain. It's going to sound weird but it was the only relief I felt. I would prop up a bunch of pillows around in a circle with a hole in center. I would lay face down with my belly in the hole. I would be propped up and just let my belly barely touch the bed..like I said wierd but I have a bad back so it took pressure off back and that in turn helped with pain. That helped with fibro pain as well. You could also try laying with pillow between your legs or under your knees depending on how you are laying.hugs

[TheAuthor]

I am so genuinely sorry to read that you verbalise feeling like an awful person and I want to sincerely assure you that it is completely natural to have these feelings. Fibro can, and does bring out the dark clouds but I know that you are a unique individual and with the right support I hope you can find the strength to overcome these issues.

I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken

[agtf1]

You are not an awful person! X

Not everyone enjoys being pregnant and with the addition of Fibro you are entitled to feel the way you do. It doesn't mean you don't love your unborn baby.

I didn't have Fibro when I was pregnant (my trigger was the pregnancy/birth), but had IVF to get pregnant and whilst I absolutely loved the fact that I WAS pregnant, really did not enjoy BEING pregnant, especially when I developed SPD and could not walk or even move without pain.

Don't feel guilty. Try to look after yourself and get plenty of rest & good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. X

[Racket1992]

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I am going to try and see the gp today. The midwife hasn't been very helpful and has just told me that my fibro and chronic fatigue will get worse towards the end and I have to find ways of dealing with it.

My husband is extremely supportive but works full time and long hours so there is only so much he can help me with. And it's getting to the point I need help with basic things like getting dressed some days !!!!

I was told couldn't have children so the pregnancy was a massive shock even the gynaecologist didn't believe the result so it's a miracle baby because of the pcos. But I have been unwell since the start and have been on anti sickness for morning ( all day ) sickness since I was 7 weeks pregnant.

I am 23 and only got diagnosed 2 years ago and had just got my life back on track so it's been a roller coaster these last few months especially coming off all the meds and going cold turkey.

Your kind words mean so much. I just want October to hurry up so I can get some proper pain relief. XXXX

[BlueMermaid3 in reply to Racket1992]

Hi again

Something I forgot to say was when you're pregnant, people seem to think it's ok to give you their opinions as if they're fact! They also don't hold back on scaring you out of your wits about things.

Many a time I had complete strangers come up to me, touch my stomach without asking, tell me I was too big, not big enough, babies were a joy, babies ruin your life, etc, etc. In the end I just had to let everyone's opinions go over my head. Just because people are telling you that you should be over joyed at being pregnant, doesn't mean you should be skipping around constantly smiling because your pregnant.

Just like Fibro, everyone experiences pregnancy in a different way. I noticed that you seem upset that you're not feeling like everyone says you should be feeling. Please try not to let other people's opinions and thoughts upset you too much.

When your beautiful baby girl arrives you will love and adore her, have no fear.

Just because you don't enjoy being pregnant (which is more than understandable due to your pain) doesn't mean you won't love your baby.

Lu xx

[Hidden]

Your not an awful person just human. Have you thought about getting a tens machine? a lot of people use them during labour to ease the pain perhaps you could borrow one and see if it helps with the fibro pain while your pregnant.

I know it doesn't feel like it now but it will be worth it when you hold your baby in your arms. I miscarried because my body couldn't take the strain of the pregnancy as well as being so ill and I am 37 so may never get to have another baby which I am trying to come to terms with along with everything else so take one day at a time and remember some people who have no health conditions feel like you do during pregnancy because of their changing body ect and you have fibro to contend with as well as everything else so be proud of yourself and know it is okay to have days like this and it doesn't make you a bad person or mean you will love your baby any less.

[Racket1992 in reply to Hidden]

I am sorry to hear that. I hope you do come to terms with everything. Sending hugs.

I am going to look into borrowing a tens machine because did read online yesterday that it may help.

Just hate feeling like this. I know people do feel like this I just wanted to feel excited about being pregnant and haven't and people keep telling me I should be over the moon and everything and that's just not how I'm feeling right now. But I am looking forward to meeting our little girl. I just think I'm only looking forward to it because means less pain. But I hope I'm looking forward to it for the right reasons !!!

[Hidden in reply to Racket1992]

Thank you for the hugs. Who says looking forward to her being here so your out of pain is the wrong reason to want her here already? Perfectly human again, I have a 17 year old daughter and I had a horrific pregnancy with her and I didn't have ME or fibro back then but I was so ill at 6 months pregnant I broke down infront of the midwife and begged her to get me induced so I wasn't ill anymore! I wasn't dealing with any pain just horrid pregnancy stuff so you really are doing great.

[Shadows-walker in reply to Racket1992]

Hi again I didn't add last my pregnancy were arwful spent 9 months being sick and in pain etc ,but for me it was worth it ,you do and feel what is right for you ,it's not for anybody to judge you ,

I am 53 and my children now are 29 ,26 and 22 I was just turned 24 when I had Charlotte the pregnancy were horrid but I kept doing it as you can see ,I had every pain management thing on offer ,my ex was and is a anestic charge nurse I had one of the first tens machines with abbi and it was brilliant also had epidurals with the first 2 ,and of course Andy sickness pills ,as I said take what help you can and if your not happy with the care you are having with your midwife ask for another one its your right to be cared for with compassion ,it's not for to say how how you will be later in pregnancy we are all different ,I can identify blue mermaid it is sound advise ,glad your hubby is good ,you will have bad days but you will I am sure find ways to cope nature has a way ,eat well and healthily ,rest when you can ,try and see if you can go on a pain and fatigue clinic ,I try to be as positive as I can be in my life ,we all have doubts but somehow most things work out ,

Take care

Chris x

[Matrix]

Look you got to stop with the guilt ,I had three children whilst in a very bad way .Its not forever and at the end of t you get this amazing gift .I know how it is because a couple of weeks ago I found some diaries and they were full of the pain I was in so I really feel for you and its ok to feel like that because being pregnant and having fibro ain't for the weak .YOU are not an Awful parent or person you are just doing the best you can ,but rest assured you can do this .Let us know what you have and wonderful it is wont you.

[BlueMermaid3]

I'm so sorry. I keep thinking of other things!

It's 15 years since I had a baby so I don't know if things still work the same way with regard to birthing plans?

I wrote a birth plan for my first baby and the midwives stuck to it almost to the letter. Due to my pain issues I knew right from the start that I wanted every type of pain relief that was available. And I got it!

I started with a TENS machine which didn't work for me, then gas and air and I then had a shot of pethidine. Finally I had an epidural.

I had a 12 hour labour and whilst I can't say I wasn't in pain it truly wasn't unbearable.

The reason I am mentioning it now is because I was wondering whether it might be a good idea to sit down with your hubby (if he is being your birthing partner) and write a birth plan of what you do and don't want. For example I was very much against an episiotomy, so wrote that down and luckily didn't have one.

The point of this is not to frighten you, but to empower you. It is something you will have a certain amount of control over which I am hoping will help you.

If mother or baby is in danger the birth plan goes out of the window but I was thinking it is something you could be concentrating on writing and could help focus you.

As shadow said, ask to see a different midwife, if you don't get on with yours.

Gentle hugs

Lu xx

[Racket1992 in reply to BlueMermaid3]

Thank you. Hubby is home early tonight so if I have some energy I'll sit down with him and write one out. Have found a template online to help me write it.

Didn't realise you can change midwife in def going to look into it because it feels like she is not very understanding to what I'm going through.

Thank you everyone for your kind words support and advice it really has helped so glad I joined the group now xxx thank you !!!!

[BlueMermaid3 in reply to Racket1992]

Hi. There was just a blank page for me to write what I did and didn't want during my birth.

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules for how it is written.

If you want any help send me a pm (private message) if you like. I would be very happy to help you with some ideas.

Lu xx

[Midori]

I feel for you, having a baby in Summer is a wearing process even without Fibro! Don't feel bad about your negative feelings, I was much the same with both my summer babes, Just get through as best you can, making sure the midders keep an eye on your blood pressure, as it can go a bit haywire in a first baby.

And please don't worry about your feelings, the end result will be worth all the hassle and pain.

Blessings, Midori

[Shazzzy]

I just wanted to say how much I admire you and think you are very courageous. At the moment I am finding it hard to do anything and could not imagine having to carry and nurture another human being as well as dealing with the pain and exhaustion. You should be very proud of what you are doing, you are not awful, you are human, and you are doing your best. Big hugs, be very kind to yourself