I can't win!

[katie72]

I feel so exhausted constantly, work a 30hour week, so by Saturday im shattered and mainly asleep all day. Now I have my younger 2 wishing I could spend more time with them, and my older two moaning that I don't get round to them much. Then I have my husband that does nearly everything round the house wanting me to be awake more so I can join him on days out with the kids, which I would love to have the energy to do. I feel so awful. Today I went to the gym with the hubby to try and slowly start to increase my muscle tone etc but no everyone wants a piece of me now.

I hate this disease and want my life back.

[rosewine]

Oh Katie this must be horrible for you as you are torn between getting your energy back after a hard working week and being with your family. I can imagine all you want to do is to crawl into bed. Of course the younger ones have to come first as they can't take care of themselves but it must be harder for the older two as well.

I think it is a brilliant idea to go to the gym with your husband as it is a bit of personal time for both of you and hopefully if you build up slowly you will get fitter as well and perhaps the knock on effect will be more energy. Do you like swimming as this could be something you could do together as a family with perhaps the others swimming and you doing some gentle exercises in the pool as the water definately helps with this.

I recently had a course of hydrotherapy and the physio said alot of women had problems in eating enough protein to help build their muscles up. Another lady and I had suspected fibro and he said in our case it would be more or less impossible to eat enough protein and recommended to help us gain more muscle that we could try subsituting our diet with a protein powder and seeing whether that made exercise easier. I don;t know whether this is something that would help you.x

[katie72 in reply to rosewine]

Hi

Thanks for your reply, when I say younger ones I they are 12 and 15, older ones are 23 and 21 and both have their children. My husband is really good in that he has previously took the kids out somewhere, just feels like they all want my attention and they want it now. They don't realise that these things happen gradually. My husband hasn't really spoken to me about my fibro since I got my diagnosis. I feel totally and utterly useless, and am so low.

Kate

[rosewine in reply to katie72]

Kate I don't think men are very good on a whole about talking about things it is as though if they don't acknowledge it it isn't there. My husband has depression and anxiety problems himself and had to give up work early because of it and I think that some days just getting through the day is a struggle for him and so worrying about me as well would just be too much. I know I am often guilty of trying to hide things from him so he doesn't worry but I have taught myself now after 5 years to be much more open and if I am having a bad day saying so so at least he understands if I am not my normal self. I was always the coper in the family and I think he feels rather lost that on some days I could do with him taking over the role. Fortunately, most of the time one of us is feeling better than the other one but I would love a few days when we were both well and could go out and enjoy ourselves more as a couple as I am sure your would love to do with your family.

I thought from what you had said that the two younger ones were younger but they are in the terrible teens and probably going through that stage where they are "mixed up" themselves. It seems a long time back but I think at that age we tend to be rather self centred. A handout about fibro might be good to give them so they can read what you are going through as because most of our illness is invisible to the outside world I think they find it difficult to understand.x

[KT_Rose]

Hi and glad you are reaching out. So many demands upon a mom and wife. Has to be so difficult.

I really like Rosewine's post to you. Great feedback!

It's also difficult to make time for self-care with so many responsibilities.

I hope you and your husband can talk and decide upon a viable plan.

Take care. KT_Rose

[katie72 in reply to KT_Rose]

Thanks KT rose

[ANITARICHARDS]

At 23 and 21 they need to be more understanding and even at 12 and 15 they are old enough to get it. Have you tried to explain things to them. Perhaps they just don't realise how unwell you are or the pressure you feel under from everything. Good luck with it all.

[katie72]

Thanks all. I'm going to do what you have suggested and search for a good handout this afternoon and show them all it tonight. I really appreciate the advice xx

[TheAuthor]

I am so sorry to read of how you are struggling so much and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to your problems and enjoy family life in the way that you desire and deserve.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken