Feeling better!!

Hi all my dear friends. Thank you so much for all your kind words and the support from you all is much more than a girl could ask for .

He /hubby did apologize an jour after and I get it now ..he's fed up with the whole situation that I'm not myself anymore and I can not go out and do the things I normally could do .I said why didn't you just fell me this.

He said but that wouldn't change the we as y you are.. You're always sick one week then maybe good for a few days and we can never do things like we did before. I apologized too.

I said I'm sorry that I can't all the time and the illness us torturing MD just as much as you.he said I know...can't you just get better somehow.

I said huni it don't work that way.he's trying to understand but I believe that he to realize andvthsts what hurts the most .

We did book a date night for Tuesday for dinner and a movie.god willing .I will go and make the best of it

Thank you all so much for the kind words listening and ideas. I truly wish you all have the inner strength to continue on helping others and being so supportive theveay you helped me.

I wish nothing but the best of health and great warm vibrations to all of you.

Sweetdreams1234.

14 Replies

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  • Wishing you both what you need following the dream :-)

  • So pleased for you - hope you have a fun, fibro free, date night :-)

  • I hope you have a good date night.

    As most of us with spouses or SOs (that's OHs on the east side of the pond) know, it is hard for them to accept our infirmity since they met us when we were most vibrant. Even though they may try to understand, they have trouble accepting that it isn't likely to just go away. (some GPs are like that too, grrrr) Maybe it is even harder for us because we so often feel helpless and guilty.

    It's a leap of faith. If we don't appear that ill, it takes more trust and faith. If you had cancer or some visually/physically obvious disease, it would be easier to wrap his head around it.

    Keep those lines of communication open and enjoy as many moments as you can. I am glad you are feeling better!

  • That's a really good outcome. I wish others could do that. Clearly he needs support. We sometimes forget what it's like to be the partner. As much as we say for better for worse, sickness and health, you do sometimes feel left out. Have a great evening and I wish you both the very best. Tell him so, please. He's not alone. :)

  • if only we could -just get better-!

  • So pleased for you.

    Hugs sue xx

  • Have a good night hun xx

  • Your post made me go and ask my husband if he felt the same, with the result that we had a really good discussion about it all, and about our individual needs for support as well as looking after each other. So thank you for that - I'm sure we needed to do it.

    But months ago we reached the decision that we would retire early - because he only gets one day a week off and I can't guarantee to be OK on that one day. Once retired we can take advantage of the better days and it will be OK to just stay home and pace myself on the others. We're going to be very broke for a little while but I don't care because we'll have TIME. Anyway I LIKE beans!

    Seriously I am very glad you shared your fears and distress, and that we could help, but also thank you for helping us and reminding us all that we have to take care of each other.

    PS If any of you live in Southport, that's where we're headed!

  • Hi, I can totally understand him being fed up with your illness I think my husband is sick of mine, it might stop us having kids a big thing when you have none aged 41, nearly 42. I feel a failure most days. Have you been put on proton pump inhibitors for gerd? I'm just about to cut mine without doctors consent. It's really tough been constantly ill but it's worse standing by and watching! I'm glad you're ok, I'd ask your doctors if you need c.b.t - highly recommended, it deals with the stress!

  • I think men often feel it's their job to solve problems. That's why they find it hard to watch someone cry and just hold them in the way a woman can. I know my OH used to get really frustrated (still does sometimes) and I would feel he was angry with me, when really he was angry with the situation and with himself because he thought he should be able to fix it. He felt guilty as much as resentful because he felt he was failing me.

    I think the biggest thing to remember, for all of us, is to keep talking to, and listening to, our partners.

    Hope you have a really good evening but don't feel pressurised to enjoy it, try to relax and just enjoy being together.

    Mim xxx

  • Hi sweetdreams :)

    Sorry that I missed your original post but am pleased that you are feeling better now and that you and hubby talked things through :)

    Wishing you wellness and I'm sending fluffie hugs for comfort and support to you :)

    {{{{{{{ sweetdreams }}}}}}}

    xxx sian :)

  • All the best for you! Enjoy your date night 😘😘😘 sometimes that's all they need is a break xx

    Soft healing hugs xx

  • I just want to wish you both all the best of luck.

    Good luck

    Ken

  • Hi Sweetdreams,

    I'm so, so pleased for you & I also want to thank you for your original post. My husband, who is a wonderfully supportive man, hasn't been himself for a few months, so I asked him how he was feeling & the floodgates opened! He said he is so tired & run down because, as my full-time carer, he feels like he's on duty 24/7 (I often wake up crying with pain in the night & I also wet the bed sometimes). He also felt guilty for feeling that way & how sorry he was, he said it's the illness he's fed up with & not me!

    I realised how selfish I've been, it's so easy to get self-obsessed when you have a few things wrong, so I apologised & we've come to an understanding now & he has been so happy today, I'm absolutely ashamed that I didn't spot his unhappiness before it reached a crisis 😔

    For the first time in four years, I made the tea tonight & the most amazing thing is how good I feel to be helping & the fact that I can still cook, yay! We both realise that I will still have days when it's just impossible to move but I know we will face these things together, instead of alone 😀

    So thank you again for being so honest, you have opened the door for me & my lovely husband, who I love with all my heart! I wish you both all the luck in the world & much deserved happiness! Take care of each other, I know I will be doing this now with my hubby!

    Much love & gentle hugs,

    Tracey 😘

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