fell over

[michaelb62]

Hi Guys and gals

Just to top the week off nicely i got up in the night to use the bathroom my back and knees had woken me up. I have one of those frames that makes it that you have hand rails sort of thing to push yourself up off the toilet. Anyway it was pain in my back and knees that woke me. I reached the bathroom switched on the light then went to sit on the toilet and don't have a clue what happened then as i was upside down wedged between my toilet and linen basket practically standing on my head but a certain part of me was caught somewhere not sure where but it felt like a razor blade my hand i have recently had surgery on was the one under me so its not the best hand to have to try and rely on as i have already fallen on it before and was going to go to A & E because its so swollen but as i have the brace on it is supported anyway and they wouldn't do anything until the swelling has gone down. I lay there upside down trying to work out how to get up as every move i made hurt the delicate area I mean this does sound like a farce and i'm sure i will laugh about it in time. I somehow managed to push myself up abit and then untwisted myself and got up. I had somehow cut the delicate area on what i don't know but there was some blood but not much. But today i feel like i have been hit ny a bus my left side is absolute agony even behind my ear and neck and all the way down the one side the other side then hurts obviously because of the way i was leaning. I really was scared that i would be there all night and no one would have found me as my daughter is coming round shortly and I'm supposed to be going out tonight with them but there is no way i could sit comfortably it has really taken the wind out of my sails. I also deleted the ex from my phone last night which was a big thing i still love him but i know the feelings aren't reciprocated so somehow i have to move on just take it one day at a time i guess but its really tough and i am off crying again. I didn't know you could cry so much over a broken relationship and i am not sure whether i love homier is it the fear of being on my own that i was relying on him?

Jackie

[Betty67]

Sorry that you are having to cope with so much at the moment. Loneliness can make us do daft things but I truly think that you can lonelier with some one who does not want to be there than when you are simply alone.

Perhaps you need to rethink about getting some medical attention, you can't know that they could not do anything to help, and on a practical note how about getting a medical alert thing to wear.

Gentle hugs x

[Shazzzy]

Hello Jackie, I never knew it was possible to cry so much either til I left my partner of 20 years. But, like Betty says, it is much harder to be lonely whilst still with your partner. Whatever the reasons it can be devastating when you first split up, so I really do feel for you and to fsll over like that must have been really frightening. Have you had a home assessment by social services, they may be of some help, especially if you are alone. Things will improve but for now you must be kind and gentle with yourself, you are in greaving for the end of your relationship and that will take time, all the best,

[TheAuthor]

Hi michaelb62

I am so sorry to read that this has happened to you, and I genuinely hope that you start to have some good luck real soon! You really have so much on your plate at the moment, and this must be awful for you.

I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x

[michaelb62]

Thank you Ken, I am almost at the end of my tether with one thing and another to top if off my right elbow seems to be giving me problems now it just doesn't seem as if anything is going my way. I had to phone one of my sons lat night because i was so close to just ending it all. As it happened he had gone to bed and i had a chat with his girlfriend. She really helped me just having a talk. Its odd because she is not the type of person that is normally easy to talk to but i think she is starting to change she is still only 20 and when we first met her she was very abrupt and i know my son has had words with her on several occasions if she has been rude to any of us. Obviously if we were rude to her he would tell us as well. They did break up for a short time but got back together i still don't know how my son really feels about her as he had moved away from Bournemouth to Leicester so it seemed like he got back with her because of a few things that happened in his life at the time. But i guess that time will tell. They are adults now and can do what they want i would never interfere but if things go bad i am always there for all of them when they need me. I sent my final text message to my ex on Thursday and that is that i have to try and accept that it over there are parts of me that wonder if i loved him or was i afraid of being alone again then other times i looked and him and felt he was a keeper and i thought we were good together even with his disabilities of being deaf and having a type of space phobia?agoraphobia and coped with my health issues. But he has knocked all my self confidence what little there was its gone and i have to try and get it back at the moment i don't want to go out unless i have to which as my daughter has my car for picking me up and getting my shopping etc then i cant just get up and pop out. Somedays are good and some i just cry all day. I cant see what i have to keep me going. I love my children to bits but they have there lives now and i have to let them live it, they will learn from mistakes the same way as we all do when we think what if!! i have done that a lot lately. My hand is still giving me lots of problems really not sure whether i have damaged it but seeing hospital on wednesday so physic will know whether to get it checked or not.f I know all they would do is put a splint on it until swelling has gone even if i had broken it and i have a moulded splint keeping it in place anyway. I sincerely hope 2015 is better than this year. I know there are lots of people out there that have far more problems than any of us. But sometimes you don't see it like that.

I hope you have lovely weekend. Sorry i waffled on too much another thing i need to change.

Take care

Jackie