Tulip - thank you, + advice re. pain relief dependence

I did rest well in the 12 days relief. I'm beginning to worry about dependence on opiod-based pain relief. I don't want to face it really, but i'm using fentanyl patches, codeine, oramorph, not because it relieves the pain, relief comes from knocking me out. It scares me. I am addicted now. I know there is no easy way out. Sooner or later, I have an amazing gp, I'm going to have to talk to her. She has returned from extended leave, and I know if I don't contact her she will call me in the coming week. I have such a good relationship with her, and she will know I'm hiding something and it wont take much to work it out. I'm a terrible liar anyway. I trust her to care for me. Just so scared. My late hubby used to say you are only as sick as your secrets! How on earth did I end up in this mess? Yesterdays' chat with eldest daughter, she and her younger sister are wondering what is it I'm hiding? The crunch is coming. I am def. not suicidal or in anyway tempted to harm myself because I feel so very much loved. That's not an issue.

Thank you guys, for listening and for caring. Tuip xx

8 Replies

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  • Hi tulips123

    I want to wish you all the best of luck when you discuss this with your GP. I think that you understand yourself that this will be difficult for you, but you know that it has to be done?

    We are here on the forum if you need friends to talk with and sort things out in your head as, and when, any issues come up for you? Good luck.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • thank you Ken. Support from this site is always so much appreciated. I'm sure I will be back during the coming week! Tulip xx

  • I agree, we're here for you Tulip, and anyone else. there are so many good people here :)

  • absolutely. I feel like there's a cushion behind me! I will be ok. Thank you xx

  • Its my understanding that opoids are only addictive if you aren't in pain? Its something chemical in the body I believe, and in the absence of the stress hormones which pain engenders .... well something like this anyway, sorry about the fibro fog vagueness!

    Dependency is another thing entirely - that can be psychological as well as physical, but either way I don't think you should feel remotely guilty. You are in pain which affects your entire life, and its perfectly legitimate to lean on whatever helps! However, I do think a chat with your GP will restore a sense of perspective and put your mind at rest, the sooner the better.

  • Oh I wish. Opiods, basically a medical form of heroin. Same drug. I know what you mean about physical and psychological dependency. The physical withdrawal can be done in days sometimes, pretty horrendous, but possible. Take the pain out of it for a moment, I'm sure the psychological is a different matter. Perhaps you were thinking of Amitriptyline? I believe that is based on blocking pain signals. It's another one I'm stuck on. I'm not sure it's very effective though, but I am also stuck on it and have been for a few years. What scares me is what else is left? You're right in that I should not feel guilty. Just have to trust gp. I will call her tomorrow, she doesn't work Mondays. Thank you for support. Tulip x

  • Hi Tulip read your post with empathy. I think alot of us if we are honest have this concern especially when yet another drug is added to our long list or the strength of an existing drug in doubled you start to wonder where it will all end. I am glad that your GP who you have alot of trust in is back on the scene and I am sure she will help you review your medication and see whether anything can be changed for the better. You are very brave to want to face this head on and this comes out in your post and I am sure that with everyones help you can face whatever you need to. Keep us up to date with your progress and we are here to support you in whatever small way we can. Soft hugs.x

  • Thank you so much. Very kind, and very much appreciated. I haven't been to bed, I have a mind set on facing it. The longer I sit with it the harder it will get. Tulip xx

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