Just need some soft hugs today

hi I am in great pain and have been for a few weeks now...don't matter how many pain killers I take I hurt all over. i am even using a pencil to type this out as finger tips are buring so much.

Im so desperate to go back to work..maybe not teaching again but something part time to get me out the house and my mind/body active but then get an episode like this and there is no way i could hold down a job.

i am feeling very sad and sorry for myself.....in need of huggs and positive comments please xxx

28 Replies

  • Lots of soft hugs!xxx

    I am feeling very poorly lately, I think it may be the change in the seasons/weather. I was desperate to get back to work, I loved my job as a Probation Officer, but since I have accepted that its not going to happen and found myself some hobbies to do at home I feel a little better emotionally. DWP does not help by trying to force chronically ill people back to work, it just messes with your head trying to force yourself to do something your body does not want to do.Think of the good things you have in your life, not what you don't have and you will feel more relaxed. Wrap yourself up warm today, watch TV, read a book or listen to some nice music, hopefully tomorrow you will feel a lot better. Gentle hugs xx

  • sorry meant to also add hope you are feeling better very soon sophie22 and yes the change in weather dont help...my fluffy bed socks are finding it hard to keep my tootsies warm today lol xxx

  • Thank you for your kind words and of course your hug :-) . I am really struggling with not working feels like I have had my independence cut...im on esa but have been told to apply for the new PIP thing and it has made me feel worse mentally its like the final straw. 42 and cant work and there are people out there on benefits all their lives that dont work but are 100% healthy...I would change places with them anyday.

    Sorry for the rant just letting of steam xxx

  • I know how you feel, I have work all my life, been told to apply for PIP, took one look at form and nearly had a heart attack, the ESA form is bad enough, what a nightmare!! My OH must be turning in his grave! Bless him! He left me a pension which is now under the poverty line so have to get ESA support. I miss work so much I was a workaholic, but acceptance is a big part of coming to terms with chronic illness, I think! but very hard to do. hope you find something new to fill your time. xx

  • Hi Pebbles

    First of all lots of gentle hugs.

    What did you used to teach?

    I worked for the last 34 years, the last 8 of which was as a Special Needs TA. I miss my job so much I can't tell you.

    I worked in main stream secondary schools and I miss my students so very much.

    Also, going from working solidly all my life, and being a single mum, it's so hard to suddenly go from racing around doing everything at 100 miles per hour to nothing.

    I have been suffering a huge amount of pain recently ~ much worse than usual. I don't know what's going on.

    Try to just give in for a few days and really rest up. Hopefully that might help?

    Also, if you don't already have one, invest in a fleecy onesie with feet. I get very very cold and can't warm up. The onesies are great for keeping warm.

    Primark sell them as do New Look and quite a lot of other shops now.


    Coz xxx

  • thanks for your hugs and kind words too coz1. Sorry to hear you are suffering more lately too. I was a TA in primary helping statement children (one of which is now 20 and still in touch with me as are many of my pupils which I find a great honour to still be respected and contacted when they have needed advise) and taught primary aged children for 10 yrs. I too miss it greatly! I was a very active teacher with lots of PE and drama lessons etc and now find it hard to get on the floor to play with my grand daughter. Its all so very sad. So i hear what your saying about activeness to nothing!

    Onesies i have looked for but cant find in my 'balloned' size. Hubby always brings me in new fleecy pj's and socks so have plenty lol.

    I hate giving in to fibro its becoming an obsession not to but it always wins in the end and i have to spend a whole day if not two days in bed sleeping/drugged up on painkillers. I HATE IT!!

    Thanks for your reply and letting me vent..it does help! Soft warm hugs back hunni ..take care xxx

  • Oh how horrible for you after being left pension to have to go on benefit. i do feel for you too. My OH tells me to come to terms with it and some days i do when i can do housework and potter about over the shops but its getting less and less and my house isnt the same anymore...he tries but a mans house work aint the same is it lol. i read a lot but finding it hard to hold books so have resulted to a kindle which i hate as nothing beats books....so even doing things to help annoys me cos i am doing them because of the illness..making it easier for it to beat me down more, but i know i have to to give myself some form of life. I have to except it and no doubt i will....in time...but at the mo I just tell my self that there are more unfortunate people out there in the world with more to cope with/worry about than me...it helps sometimes!. All the best to you hunni and again thanks for the 'soft' hug xxxx

  • Very gentle hugs to you. I am missing my teaching so I empathise with you. Today I am struggling to walk and it hurts that I can't even teach dance anymore. This just seems like added punishment.



  • Thank you jillylin....its so sad to not be able to do waht your heart loves....and then there is the everyday today 'normal' things that I /we now cant do which for so many years i took for granted or moaned about...like food shopping, cooking dinner, housework chores etc...I can honestly say I miss being able to do those things now :-(

    You take care xxx

  • aw Pebbles! Its very difficult to adjust isn't it when you are not sure what you'll be like each morning when you get up? Planning things becomes more complex to accommodate current pains and health probs and well... when the guys turn up ready to go to the pub and expect me to go ta da! look, quick as a flash, let's go! huh!

    I'm lucky if I can get around the house without falling over at the moment due to vertigo it's driving me insane.

    Like you, I need to keep my brain fed and keeping up with it can be quite challenging at first, ( I found anyway), yet after a while it became easier and easier to find new ways of feeding it, (again, I found anyway!).

    I don't know about you but do you find your brain gets hungry?

    I was completing soduku puzzle book in days and it became obsessive I would be going through them so quickly my OH couldn't believe it. At the same time I'd be working on 2-3 crosswords, the hard ones where you need to get books off the shelf, and then.... I decided to go back to university to do a Masters. I had to do something to regain some kinda balance :) or I'd have gone completely insane. Again, this is my personal experience and I wouldn't be me if I hadn't have experienced it. I could swap so many more life stories but I won't just for now!

    I found this site and lots of lovely people and its helped to fill a void in my life :)

    xxxzebxxx for you I think I shall send big fluffy chocolate scented cuddles blended with white fluffies scented with vanilla ice-cream to help soothe away the sadness.

    Hope you like :)

  • Thank you Zeb for sending all your lovely gifts to me :-D cheered me up no end!!

    I too find myself doing crossword puzzles etc and when going to bed I have a ds that I play ma-jong or puzzle/clue games on as my brain does not settle for ages.

    I started a legal diploma back in March and am on the very last part of it but due to fibro fog and painful finger tips, typing the final assignments is proving to be a little difficult so i know this will be my last study. My dream of working in law after being a primary teacher is no more as the work load will just be too much for me to undertake now. That makes me so sad and angry. My hands are the worst i drop everything as the grip is just not there anymore.

    Anyway..thank you so much for your kind words..and gifts :-) ... I hope the vertigo eases for you.


  • you are very welcome xxx

  • Try and be positive , this flare up will pass over. Go back to your GP, get some other meds to get you through this, thinking of you, lots of love and gentle hugs! I'm here if you need to talk xxx

  • Thank youfor your kind words....I was the one that pushed for a consultant as my doc just kept saying 'oh try these or these pain killers.' i wanted answers to what was wrong with me not mask the pain and forget it so told him to refer me or i wouldnt leave his surgery lol so he did. So going back to him is a joke. He hasnt a clue and not even asked to see me after consultants letter to him of diagnosis. problem with this area is you have to have the doc nearest where you live and there are only 3. the first i cant get in as full...the second was a battle axe and told me it was all in my head and refused to help me further so left and now im with this one. so in a tight spot really.

    Anyway thanks again for your hugs :-)

    You take care too xxx

  • very gentle hugs x

  • Thank you Morwenna.....hope you are well xxx

  • All I can do is send soft hugs how many you have got them all

    I know just how you feel

    so all the soft hugs out there kath

  • Thank you so much xx

  • Hi I know just what u mean so long to get bk to work then , bang back to square one gentle hugs and hope u pass through it quickly ;)

  • Thank you so much xx

  • Hi and big hugs x iam to flareing and is been a week and achalf , so hugs all round . I had to finish work last sept when I wa s diagnosed . I was a nursery nurse in pre school, I muss it but thers nothing I can do about it, I struggle getting out of be d most days . Iam now on esa , and waiting for a doctor to visit me as I attended a tribunal for dla and the jydge wanted some more info . We go through enough without financial stress on top. Iam now under a pain consultant at the pain clinic , I was under my doc , physio for months and nothing helped , pain consultant has put me on lycria , in the last 3 months I had them upped to 300mg , I also take nortriptyline of a night , pain is there still , its helped with my anxiety disorder ans sleep a bit , see what happenes when I see him on thursday , I have a list of what I need to talk about as I cant remember anything anymore lol I hope you feel a little better soon , hugs and love angi xxx

  • Thank you for your reply and hugs! i am already on esa but have recently applied for PIP they have recieved it and now just waiting for the big 'NO' to come back.

    I have a doc who is not worth even going to see. i have had physio and injections in my shoulder etc and put forward for hydro therapy but the pool broke after 1 session and still is broke weeks later. I have to go for a 'Land' assessment tomo with the landy who should be doing the hydro lessons. cos thats gonna help aint it being prodded and pulled about...but I gotta try to go hubby taking me.

    I take Lyric (pregabalin) twice daily each being 100mg, 8 x 500mg paracetamol, 4 x 300mg ibuprofen, 4 x 30mg of codien phosphate and then a tummy tab thing called lanzoprole (cant spell it lol) that stops the heartburn from them all. So im taking quite a few prescribed things (which i absolutely hate taking) and im still in pain like you.

    How did you get to see a pain consultant? was you referred by the doc or therapist?

    How are you finding the nortriptyline? Is that helping at all during the night?

    I am finding getting to sleep hard at the moment..my brain will not switch off and the pains and stiffness is terrible.

    Hope you dont mind all the questions,

    Sending hugs back for you xx

  • morning pebbles , it was my physio that wrote to my doctor suggesting I go to pain clinic as they couldn't do much for me . so my doc referred me , im on 20 mg nortriptyline they help me to sleep a few hours then im wide awake .how you feeling today ? I hope a little better xx I hate mornings it takes me a couple of hours to get going , like everyone it would be nice to have a break from this even for just one day !! were abouts are you pebbles ? sending you a hug xx angie xx

  • Dear Pebbles 71

    I am so sorry you are in so much pain, and feeling low

    I am sending you the most gentle hugs to wish you better. I don't have much to add as you have had all the advice etc that I could give you.

    So it's just letting you know I am thinking of you and I hope you can get the pain under control quickly . We are all here and are wishing you well.

    Lots of love and hugs wishing u better

    Caroline xxx

  • Awww thanks caroline.

    Yes there has been a lot of helpful advise here. people have been genuinely caring its really nice to know you can vent a little steam off and people know and understand why. Lovely group Im so glad I found it.

    have you managed to control your pain and if so how/what tabs?

    Hayley xxx :-D

  • Hello Hayley, in a word no my pain is not really controlled, and at the moment I think ( hope) i am having a flare. I am under a pain team but when I went to see them I was told, they can't cure me or make me pain free!! I am however due to have acupuncture during October which will help my lower back which is great but most of my pain is in my hips, arms,wrists and fingers.

    I am lucky to have the best GP in the world and he has helped me sort out a cocktail of drugs to try to stop the pain. I take for pain

    MST 40mg twice aday

    Oramorph 5ml /10mg up to 4 times aday

    Pregabalin 75 mg twice aday

    My pain control is still hit and miss, but even when I am having a good day I still fins it too painful to walk very far so I am almost house bound most of the time

    Here's to flares going away

    Hope you are having a better day today

    Love and hugs. Caroline

  • understand how you are feeling. so wish i could do something, anything but always land up in bed. would be so happy to just get back to a class once a week. there are many of us out there. understand and pass on lots of soft gentle hugs.

  • Thanks Nadine...was you a teacher too? i so miss the banter and laughs with the kids. ARGHHHHH makes me want to scream alll the pain and having to change your life around to suit it.

    Thanks for the gentle hugs

    Hope you are well and not suffering to much.

    soft gentle hug back!

    Hayley xxx :-D

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