Would it not be easier to end it all now....I'm not sure I can take anymore harassment without being able to do something legally about it?

[philmeister]

I am sorry to you all on here,you have been a source of inspiration for me [Edited by Admin due to references to an identifiable individual] I cannot take anymore

[Bearess]

Please don't despair - it's not the end of your world - ring the Samaritans - they will help to talk you through your next positive step - please have faith - there are a lot worse events happening in the world today - that's my motto and it helps me through my bad days

[up_urs in reply to Bearess]

Sorry but I have to say I have phoned the Samaritans many times and they do nothing! I know I'm not supposed to say that but that's what I believe!

What people need is proper health care for all which we are currently not getting.

Just an amateur saying nothing on the end of the phone is not the answer - for many people like me anyway.

I prefer substance rather than just kind words. Sorry if this sounds harsh.

If people felt like everything was being done for them by the NHS then that would be the answer.

This is definately not the case and it seems a lot of people for varying reasons don't want to address this simple fact.

[Bearess in reply to up_urs]

Chin up - soldier on - its a lousy day - tomorrow could be much better if you give it a chance

It's obvious it couldn't get any worse

I hope you feel more positive and less bitter soon - fibromyalgia is a rotten illness and people who don't understand it can be a pain themselves at times - there are so many people out there,who are claiming to suffer from this syndrome, that the genuine sufferers are all branded as fraudsters !!!!

Hugs

[Hidden]

Life is allways worth living, things will get better

I am 60 now I believe in life you go through periods

That it is total crap, then periods that are not so bad

It's just part of life give your self a good talking too

I'm sure you have people that love you, and you are

Still contributing to

[Hidden]

Sorry pressed the wrong thing, as I was saying

You must be contributing to life, if you were not

You would not be here.

I have seen people with the most terrible things

And in more pain than I can begin to imagine.

So please don't give up things will get better

Again

[Ginsing]

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. What ever it is nothing in the world is so bad a way cannot be found to improve the situation. We are here if you need to chat. Gins

[Mdaisy]

Hello Philmeister,

I am so sorry you feel the way I do with all this stress lately it has probably exacerbated your Fibro and I see from other posts you were already feeling not so good. Strange as I have had a flare lately.

Have you got a family member or friend who will consider writing a letter about your missed appointment for you ? If so, why not let them do it while you concentrate on you until you are out of the flare & maybe resting your mind for a while. When I am stressed & poorly my mind kind of 'scrambles' if that makes any sense at all.

If no family nearby and you wouldn't like to ask a friend maybe you could find out if you have an Advocacy Service where you live.Here is a link that may be of interest;

healthunlocked.com/fibroact...

We all understand and are all here to listen, as are the Samaritans if you need to talk over the phone. Keep strong

Samaritans

08457 90 90 90

Email: [e-mail]

When you feel up to it make a plan if you with small steps to address the situation, maybe trying not to overload yourself. Although I know it is hard but if you can it may help.

I am wishing you all the best

Emma

[Hidden]

Hey Phil,

I am assuming you are a guy... If you would like another guy to speak to, because it IS different for us, then please drop me a line via private message on here and perhaps I could give you a call to chew the fat? This is so totally demoralising and I get it mate...

Take care of yourself... There's lots to come that will brighten your eyes fella.

Hopefully

Gary x (yes guys can give each other a kiss too)

[Cookie72 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Peachy, just out of curiosity what makes it different for you. im always willing to learn

[hamble99b in reply to Cookie72]

I think many men have said they find it hard to talk about things.

glad to see people here recognise they can.

regards,

sandra

[Hidden in reply to Cookie72]

Hi Cookie,

I think there are some slight differences in the way things are handled, both physically and emotionally. Most guys have grown with many seemingly immovable "man" things and its a tough break to be shut out from that... to say the least. For instance, I have a sports car on my drive that is my pride and joy; however, I've been unable to drive it for two years due to my condition (cervical and lumbar spine issues and FMS of course), but I just can't bring myself to sell it. I also have a career I worked very hard for and grieve a lot about not being able to attend to it... Lots of tears. That, along with sexual issues, serious identity issues, very hard feelings of worthlessness as a man etc etc.

It's a LOT of pressure... Especially when you hear the words "man-up"!

I'm not sure I explained that very well but I hope you get the gist.

Kind regards

Gary

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi Gary

Beautifully put

I started to write to you earlier today, but was worried I might sound condescending.

I thought it was lovely of you to write to philmeister in such a kind and caring way.

Unfortunately for a lot of us Fibro sufferers it's not only our condition (and obviously all the physical pain that goes with it), but the "loss" we have gone through too.

I'm sure I speak for quite a few of us on here ~ it would be great to hear some more from you by giving us a "guys" perspective on things, or even just to chat.

I'm sad to hear what you are going through. Don't forget we are all here to support each other.

Gentle hugs

Coz x

[JSue]

Hang in there. Samaritans are wonderful. And you can call as often as you need to. Hugs xx

[Tattyhead53]

Gary you explained it beautifully. My husbands life came to an instant halt following a car crash that left him maimed for life and subsequently in a wheelchair. It takes a long to to stop grieving for a lost way of life and a long time to build a new life. Even now 16 years down the line we hanker for things we can no longer do and the freedoms lost that we used to take for granted.....yes I lost them too. But it can be done. The mantra 'this too, shall pass' has helped us through. Life can be better

[Fibrofoggiest in reply to Tattyhead53]

Hi tatty, your mantra is one I try to hang on to, don't always manage it, but it is so true.

Best wishes to both you and your hubby.

Foggy x

[ladytelita]

*Hugs* It sucks when you feel so low you can't see a way out. Just remember, tomorrow will be a better day.

I recently went through councilling (not for fibro, but for an abusive relationship with my ex). It's taken more than 10 years to come to terms with what he did and I doubt I'll ever totally trust others like I used to but things did get better and easier.

There are people that care and can give you support, including us guys (and gals) here, always ready to provide cyber hugs and moral support. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

P.

[budgiefriend]

Hello, philmeister,

I have suffered feeling trapped, being abused and harrassed while being ill and FOR being ill. I have suffered great losses--almost everything really, and even had to change my name to get away from abuse. But, I did find some comfort in a few very small things.

For one, I told myself that I would not harm myself 'just yet'. It sounds silly to someone who has not had feelings of wanting to end it all because life is so unbearable and you feel there is no way out. But, for me, sort of thinking that maybe I could make it through a little longer and rest and see if there was something I had overlooked that would help make things better.... that made a difference. I couldn't manage to say I would never end it all. But putting it off helped and allowed me to gain a bit of strength to get more perspective on things.

I think I get how it's different for a guy, and I feel really sad about that. Of course I don't know exactly what you are coping with or exactly how you feel.

I am not a member of AA or anything like that, but the concept in their little prayer about 'serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference' has helped me get clarity and insight into many of my worst times. I am glad I know that little prayer, even though I don't believe in God or religion. There is a 'higher' part of us that can offer guidance when we stop, breathe and rest a bit.

One thing that was hard for me was accepting the fact that we cannot change anybody else. We can't convince, persuade them or make them be the way they should be.

Although I am now almost totally bedbound, I must say that I appreciate every day the peace from harrassment and mental torment which I have found, despite the losses I suffered to get it. It was worth it. I am a happy person, despite my pain and my limitations. It took getting away from the unhappy people to realize that, as well as allowing myself to grieve for a few years afterward. I had to shift to enjoying small things and finding friends and activities online, which helped.

I wish for you to have someone who will shine a light for you into the darkness and give you a bit of rest from the pain and torment. I wish more than that, that you will find your way through this, step by step, and that you will come out into a better future.

[hamble99b in reply to budgiefriend]

that is so thoughtful a reply and the last paragraph is almost a prayer.

[philmeister]

Thanks for all your kind words,I think this government has a lot to answer for especially for people like me to even contemplate the easy way out....once again thanks

[Photogeek]

Hi there, I am not sure what your problem is, but blaming the Government or anyone for our problems, does not help. We have to accept things, they are our problems, and keep your energy for making small changes, by ranting at others you waste your time and energy that you could be solving the problem and helping yourself.

I go through times when life is very hard and I think what the heck, "what is the purpose and meaning of my life" . I have had Pleurisy for three weeks, and have to go for Xray and biopsy tomorrow, but I still love life, life is for everyone ups and downs, no one but no one has a perfect life, so take heart, and keep going. Make a little list and try to do

one thing to help your situation tomorrow, be good to yourself, and treat yourself with love and care.

I will keep you in my prayers, and hope you will feel a tiny bit better. I often go to bed having had a downer day, to wake feeling a bit better next day, everything changes, nothing in life stays the same. so this bad time will pass too.

Hannah

[up_urs in reply to Photogeek]

Well the government are responsible for the NHS aren't they? So why can't we blame them?

The scary thing there are very few means to do this.

I have tried everything else for years and no one is accountable.

At least I have an MP now who seems to be doing his best and he has contacted Jeremy Hunt on my behalf. Lets see.

I know there also a limit to what you can say on forums like this as its upsets the status quo.

Lets see how much democracy and free speech we really have!

Watch this space.

[Mdaisy in reply to up_urs]

Hello Up,

In reference to what can be discussed and what cannot please can I ask that everyone refers to the FibroAction guidelines via the link below;

healthunlocked.com/fibroact...

and you can find the HealthUnlocked guidelines by clicking help on the green bar

Hope this helps

Emma

[Photogeek in reply to up_urs]

I agree that we should be critical of Governments. You said you can raise the issues re. Health. With them. You voted And they were voted In democratically. Join a political party to change things. I was making the point that blaming the state Becaause we have depression or Fibo. That's what Imeant , At least you inUK Have the NHS . In Ireland I Haveto pay for every GP visit Plus all my prescriptions which cost me e 150.00a month.

Cheers now and maybe all. Who complain here should start their own political party.

Hannah

[philmeister in reply to Photogeek]

I never voted mainly because they all say what they have to,to get elected so that makes them all the same in my eyes.Whatever government is in does not help the helpless,hopeless or homeless to the extent they should.We did not ask to be in pain every day,I did not ask for a brain heamorage or ataxia or fibromyalgia but I certainly expect more help than I am getting now !!!

[Hidden in reply to philmeister]

Agenda 21 means that whoever is in power is working towards the same means, one way or another. Different approaches can look or sound like completely different policies but essentially are aiming towards the same ends.

The name of the boat can change, but the seas still demand that only certain routes can be taken now.

It IS appalling the way truly vulnerable people are being treated along this course though, as there are always other options. There is a lot of discussion on here regarding the ATOS debarcle and it is ok to highlight the inadaquacies of our government and also to rally against their decisions. Especially when there is money being spent "here and there" which should be used to protect our own.

In the words of Churchill: "never, never, never give in". For me this means: find some help to cope with the processes and "appeal, appeal, appeal"!

Best of luck Phil.

[Photogeek]

Thank you, everyone on this site is so kind.