I don't want my kids to be my carers, but how can I make them more 'caring'?!

[Julie63]

I need help as to how I can let my two teenage children know that sometimes I am just too tired to run them around in the car. That sometimes, yes, it IS too much to tidy up just because they've got friends coming round & yes, I do find their noise stressful & would just like to be left alone, sitting quietly, without all their hassle & noise and acting as a taxi service & cleaner & cook & washer upper, housekeeper who cleans their dirty clothes, picks up after them, and, and, and......... Please help - their favourite - 'yeah but you're ALWAYS tired!', 'I'll do it later', & 'Taxi!', are beginning to wear me out! How can I get them to understand that it's not laziness, or me making excuses, but I AM ill?

Cheers,

A Worn Out, Julie63 x

[Ginsing]

What a rotten predicament you are in. It is hard I have been there I think you need to talk to them and involve them more in how you are, how much energy you have . Explain about the spoon theory and when they are used up there is nothing left till the next day. Let them come on here and talk to us they must worry about you. Others may have more suggestion but from me gentle hugs ((((( )))))

xgins

[ladymoth]

I think you're really up against it if you want teenagers to be more caring and helpful - they just won't! All you can do is strike a bargain. You will do the taxi runs, and allow their noisy friends reasonable access, but only if they pick up after themselves, load the washer, do the dishes, and prepare the veg.

There's no need for you to do any of this if you make a rota and insist they stick to it - even if you were perfectly well they should still help in the house and not expect to be waited on.

They won't like it, and there will be complaints, but if you simply refuse to be their hand-rag, they will have no choice but to behave in a more reasonable manner.

Best of luck ... I did this to my mob, and we all came through without serious loss of life or limb!

Moffy x