what about me??

im 37 but i feel 90!! im a single mum and have been single for nearly 5 years, partly due to fm partly due to the last relationship being with a violent man. my son has adhd and aspergers my daughter has hypermobility syndrome.

im not feeling sorry for myself, im just realising how quick life is flashing past, im 38 soon and the chance of finding a man to take on me and my problems, and the kids and theirs, is slim to non existent! i dont go out hardly so im not going to meet anyone, and if i did my baggage is overwhelming!! im concentrating on my 2 lovely kids (9 and 5) but what about me? WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!! x

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  • I feel similar to this although I am in a different situation. I am 27 a week on sunday and I have had a round of texts from friends who want to go out. I have been in a more severe flare up for approx the last 6 weeks however I feel different, I'm not recovering the same this time as I have from others. I live with my husband and my mum but having to tell my friends that I cant get myself out is awful especially after missing out on almost everything since the xmas period. I do not feel like I am living life to my full potential. I am smart and would like my own business but because of concentration issues I am unable to complete the necessary study. I am scared to have any children because I struggle with my niece and then with guilt after all th time having to ask her to be careful or tell her I cant do certain things. I am not the same as I was before this flare up - I have had others before and come out of the otherside but this is different so I am left feeling deflated. (I too have HMS as well as the fibro) BUT we have to count ourselves lucky for the things we do have. If we cant feel sorry for ourselves and let it out sometimes on here then where can we :) xx

  • i understand, my friends go out clubbing and they dont ask me anymore, not because they dont want me to come, just cos they know i will decline! (i got upset as not asked, and they explained this) i have to ask my children for help doing things as i cant, i couldnt even build a snowman with my youngest! its not fair!! they are missing out and so am i ! after each flare up (each one seems to be worse than the previous) i seem to loose a bit of myself if that makes sense? :-( xx

  • Don't give up hope. My sister was in a similar situation 10 years ago. She used walking sticks and had 3 children aged 18, 16 and 6. The 16 year old has autism and she had been abandoned 4 years earlier. She started going to her local church to meet other women and it was on her 1st night out in 4 years that she met her current partner. She outlined her past and current situation and he told her his. Over the course of the last 10 years, both her daughter and autistic son have been to university and gained degrees. Her autistic son actually got highest degree there is even 'tho he is still unable to catch a bus by himself. My sister's condition has deteriorated over the years and she is now in a wheelchair. She is getting married this Saturday.

    Love will find you but you do need to allow yourself time for YOU when you can go out and mix.

  • Nadine I know how you feel, I have three kids, 11, 14 & 19, I work part time and pay the mortgage and bills etc, I take care of my lot but there is no-one here to take care of me at the times i might need it. I have a boyfriend but he lives 145 miles away so we don't see that much of each other. It is so important to take time out for yourself, even more so living with the curse that is Fibro. At times i just want to walk out of the door and not come back, because everything is just too much, but these feelings pass, I feel guilty for having them but its just human nature.

    My escapism is my car. It's powerful, ear-splittingly loud lol and when I drive it i don't give the fibro a second thought. Find something that takes you outside yourself, it will really help.

    As for finding love, don't worry about looking for it, it will find you. I met my partner on Facebook lol. His car is much faster than mine but heyho lol. Chin up girl. Be strong :) xxx

  • barbykins and sammyh67 thankyou!! you both made me smile and a tad more positive, hugs to you both xxxxx

  • as sad as it sounds i was on my own for years with fms and 4 boys ... one who has problems i found a romance and love ... It can happen in the mean time enjoy new things when you can remember to be selfish sometimes you need to be first xx big hug

  • hi there i know exactly how you feel i know im not single but i do know the feeling of what about me chin up hun xxx

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