Never be good enough

[charlii]

Love you all but leaving you all and have already left Facebook.

No more pain, guilt and sorrow.....I thank you all for everything and I wish you all the luck in the world xx

[hamble99b]

I've sent you a message charlii,

sandra.

[charlii]

I have read it Sandra x

[charlii]

I thank you Sandra from the bottom of my heart x

[Ginsing]

Charli,

Are you alright this dosen't sound like you - can I help I am here if you want to chat xgins

[Berthy]

I know we've never conversed before but seriously I'm here if you need me..<3

[bbstport]

are you ok ? is there anything i can do x

[Maria-33]

I have not wrote on this site before, so you wont know me.. However, I would like to help if you need to speak, please let your friends help.

[charlii]

Just don't want to be anywhere any more

[Hidden in reply to charlii]

hi charli you don't know me but I've sent you a message

zeb xxx

[Petra]

Hi there Charlii we are all worried about you please reply to someone on this blog,tell you Doctor or a family member or friend even Samaritans.Your blog is quite worrying.If you are ok and have made your mind up then thats ok.We are all here for eachother.Take care lots of love from everyone here and huge hugs.We can get through this together.Love xx

[Wendylulu]

Phone the Samaritans please.. Even if you hold your phone handset and cry down the phone...I've been there..

Love to you x

[Jo61]

Charli - hey - we all have days like this - can I maybe get one of the counsellors I work with to give you a call and lets see if we can see a way through this dark day..............

[Hidden]

Hi Charlii has someone upset you on Facebook ... I know I that happens a lot ... I watch Jeremy Kyle... Is it rl ... Is your OH still working abroad I guess you have been very busy as you haven't been on here for a while .. if you can't face the board you could always pm anyone you get on with to have a chat ... You know with volunteers what is said in pm stays in pm ....

Vg x

[Jo61]

Charli - I have sent you a number of a local (to you) support group - good for days like this - might be worth a try.................

[charlii]

Oh vg, if only if was about someone upsetting me on Facebook.

Please save your concern for people on here who really need it.

That sounds awful, I don't mean to be ungrateful but its oh god, I can't do this.....sorry x

[iluvcatsuk in reply to charlii]

we don't know each other but I'm very concerned about you. Please see your GP or, as someone said, phone the Samaritans. There is always help out there. I suffer with depression and have to take medication. I'm not saying that's what you have but we all know how the pain can really bring you down. Everyone on here cares and want to help. Lots of love and hugs. sheila xx

[kerrykell in reply to charlii]

Charlii are you still there please talk to us we can listen. Xx

[Zforsyth]

Hi charlie

We have never chatted before, but as others on here have said we are all here for you. This place isn't like Facebook. We can all relate on some level as we have the same condition with a few others on top. I have had some very dark times recently and to be honest this site really helped me through them. Being able to rant or just knowing you aren't alone is in this can help. However if you still don't want to chat or private message anyone at the moment try calling Gateway. (I have them on speed dial lol) they have been a great help to me over the last couple of years and you can call them around the clock. Or you can contact the Samaritans by email or phone. A saying my dad always said to me which often gives me comfort now when things are tough is "don't let the bas%#*ds grind you down"

Really hope you are ok. Whatever you are going through we are all here for you x

Zoe

[Jo61]

Charli - please have a think - it sounds to me like you have an amazing family and home and you have been so strong with all the pain you have endured. It would be a shame to lose you and I think there will be many others that think that too - and YOU are worth our concern!

[happycroc]

Hi There Charlie, I have not spoken to you before, but can I say that how ever low you are feeling and the pain you are experiencing or the emotional troubles you are facing, you are a fellow sufferer and that means you are a strong willed and strong minded person who pushes though and carries on no matter what life with throw at you..... there are times in all our lives that we may not see the sky for those blasted grey clouds,,,, but when those clouds dispurse and the sun shines, and the warmth fills your bones, things do not seem so bad.... I urge you to talk, talk to anyone who will listen, you have a wealth of friends here, and you have your medical team to help you.. just remember the sun is not so far away. gentle hugsxx

[comber]

We are members of your family Charli. We laugh with you and we grieve with you. We are a huge family, with huge experience of pain and suffering. Talk to us one on one or all together and you will find that all of your deepest, darkest kicks and poundings by life resonate with us. We've been where you are. We can help you. You are, as we are all trying to help you see, not alone.

[misstitch]

Charli I know we have never spoken before, but I feel very concerned for as many are...please don't give up fighting for yourself. You have so much love on here and probably even more around you and you probably have so much to give to the world. I really really hope you let somebody help you at this really really dark time. Xx

[kerrykell]

Please dont. I know i am new on here but we nearly lost my motherin law on sat through overdose. The trauma that the knock on efect it had on a wider circle was terrible. Please dont do anything daft. Its a long time cure to a short term pproblem.

I now how youu feel we all do. We ar all paddeling the same boat some times we hit the rappids but sometimes its smooth sailing.

Please dont do this

Phone the crisis team at your local hospital

Xxx

???

[pondminstrel]

hi.please message me..i have been where you are..i obviously don't know your reasons for feeling so down,but it can be sorted out somehow...God never gives us a load that we cant bear...I will give you my phone number if you message me pet xxx..

[pondminstrel]

one good thing its 7 hours since your first message and an hour since your last..so that's a good sign...keep chatting xxx

[robcathy]

charli, You sound so low, you need to talk to someone. I will be there for you if you want to talk. I will give you my telephone number if you feel you can talk to me. I too have fibromyalgia and understand your problems, although I am not as bad, as you are. Please talk to someone. Don't consider ending it all. I know it would end your own suffering, but for your loved ones, it would start theirs. My daughters boyfriend ended his life, 8 yrs ago and it was like a ripple effect that goes on for years. Please my friend, talk to someone. Sending you a big hug. Cathy

[angib53]

Charli we havent spoke before , I to know were you are right now please let us help you , talking , venting , crying , whatever you need to do , were are all here for you , xxxxx

[kerrykell]

Does anyone live near charlii. X

[Fibrofoggiest]

Hi Charlii,

I have sent you a message Charlii, I hope it might help.

Foggy x

[Mdaisy]

Hello Charli,

I am so sorry you are feeling so distressed as are many on here are too, as you can see by the messages.It can be difficult living with Fibro and we all understand that and we are very willing to listen to hopefully be able to offer or point you in the direction for some help.

If you are feeling extremely low and experiencing any worrying thoughts please make an urgent appointment with your GP for help during this acute phase or alternatively visit the local A&E.

As others have mentioned the Samaritans can be a way to express your feelings that may be of help as always someone on the end of the phone to listen. Please consider taking to them Charli, here are the contact details for them

Samaritans

08457 90 90 90

[e-mail]

samaritans.org

Please know we are always here to listen here on the community forum and the Samaritans are a phone call away too. We are all thinking of you.

Take Care

Emma

[Maria-33]

I have also been where you are many times and it is not easy to get that thick metal blanket off your mind and body when your life seems just never-ending days of pain, memory loss, to name a few. Fighting to get through a day and also maybe one of the worst things, just finding someone close who understands your daily fight. It is beyond hard for anyone who does not suffer the way we do, to see how bad we hurt, not only from the pain of the illness (and others) but more so from the lose of the person we once new mentally, let alone the physical loss of who we were, looking each day in the mirror to see a stranger. Fighting constantly with every breath of everyday to get the person you once were back. Even a saint would stumble and that is how we have to fight everyday, in amongst everything else we have to do in a normal day and my goodness how extra hard is it when things go wrong and this may only be a minor blip to those with out illness.

I can not feel your pain as we are all different, but I understand how you get to where you are. But please if I can say if you can find a little ray of hope today to bring you through...please please do. I have just lost my nephew who was 29, he thought he had nothing to live for and I can not explain the hurt that is left behind, along with the guilt and this will stay with his, Grannies, Grandfather, Mother, Father, Nieces, Cousins, Aunties, Uncles and his friends for the rest of our lives. I do not blame my Nephew, I love him, but to see how broken his family and friends are especially his little nieces, it has made me think about the time I have been so close to this and to try and find a way so I never get there again.

You have so many people who love you for who you are whatever and so many friends on this site that are ready and willing to help as much as they can...Please be strong you seem such a lovely person. The sun will come out tomorrow, if you can hold on through today

Always here for you...(((xxxx)))

[Hidden]

Dear Charlii,

I see you have problems with your atlas alignment and compression... I too have very serious cervical spine problems and am very aware of the risks and complications. The Vagus nerve can be very damaging to lots of faculties also if involved. I can see how this makes you feel at a dead end.

Your "load" is a very difficult one to carry... you need to find help to carry it honey... you can't expect to carry on in the same way as before now - please reach out for help and me, like many, many others, am willing to try and help you get a handle on things and I might be able to see eye-to-eye with you - considering my knowledge of this area.

Bottom line: find your path again... there are always options. I have just reached out to a global team of specialists that is provided by my wonderful employer... I'll try anything. My vibrant and vital daughter would shrivel inside if anything were to happen to me and on my bad days/weeks/months I only live to fill her heart.... just by being there and for words to aid and comfort her on her journey. I believe you might have similar options.

If you need to run and hide from everything and everyone... Do so. As long as you let the people that care know "where" you are. On that note: please do let all these concerned friends/fellows in suffering know that you are ok please.

Compassion is only true and complete when you offer yourself the same compassion you have for others.

Be kind to yourself.

Your fellow "weirdly-wired from the neck up" fighter...

Gary x

[LaurieLee]

Oh Charlii please please reply to this. I too have been feeling like this over the last few weeks. Yesterday, kept thinking that there is no point anymore. Its all pain. If its not me in pain, its me or others causing pain. Jus too much. THEN I THINK WHAT IT WOULD DO TO OTHERS I LOVE. It jus inflicts more pain to them. I and others are so worried about you, its making me feel sick, please let us know you are OK. HUGE HUGS love Laurie xxxx

[Hidden]

Hi Charlii,

I have gone through phases in the past where I have cut myself off from people thinking I'd be better off alone, but it's not the best place to be, keep in touch with people who can help you as others here have said, contact your gp or anyone you feel can help you and then let us know here that you are ok. Thinking of you xx xx

[summer32]

Dear Charlie, Im new on here so we dont know each other.. from your profile you look like a beautiful vibrant woman and have three lovely kids.. please for their sake and for all the people who love you go to your GP and say how you are feeling

XX

[larissa]

Charli , Please just let us know you are ok xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[chaozz]

Done that been there wrote the book starred in the video still wear the T-shirt. nothing worse than feelin down but don't give up U have a lot going for U supportive family friends etc.we all feel like giving up but then we carry on,think of ur family how upset they would be if they knew how U felt and hadn't told them.so come on dig deep down and find what's left of ur stamina and Talk to Someone either ur doc someone on here what ever .This World needs Every Nice Person it can Muster So Talk to Someone Please.Huge Hugs......xxx

[rosehip]

charli please let me help you , i was sucicdal 18 months ago nothing to do with fibro , i suffered anxiety and severe depression , if you need help please message me. i had the crisis team out i know how you feel and it can get better .. i know your feeling more than just low its more than that i know . please let me help .

[jillylin]

Gentle hugs sweetheart, don't give up. Please talk to someone.

[Hidden]

Charli, please talk to someone it does help to get your head a bit clearer, you are special and deserve to be well.Lots of hugs and healing thoughtsx

[Jo61]

Charli - we would all love to hear that you have managed to get through the day...... much strength to you

[madddyyy]

Its easy for us all to say we have been there, but we do not know what the problem is. Take the advice of many above and ring someone, samaratins, a friend or family or even write it all down, and think back to good memorys and get a few photos and remember good days and forget the bad, fibro drives us to the ground and we need to know the reason we have bad days is so we can enjoy the good ones. PLease talk to someone, and do not let problems hinder you. I have had fibro for near 20 years now, i am only 44 and i have learnt to ebrace fibro, live with it, it can be done, because in the last year i have turned my life around and i am proof. I hope your sorting things out and the good day started already.

[Lizzie559]

Charli, I hope you are alright. Please, please don't give up. Please talk to someone and then sleep on it. Things always look better in the morning. YOU are worth fighting for, and things will get better. Gentle hugs xxx

[oldieB]

Charli It was said earlier that God does not give us loads we cannot bear but He really does want us to support each other and there are so many people who know you and many of us who do not, just know that life IS worth living even with all that Fibro ++brings! My faith has brought me through many hurdles and my prayer tonight is that all the love and concern that has been shared will get you to wait a bit and try some of the support network offered. chat soon

gentle hugsx

[charlii]

I have written a new blog telling everyone who has offered me support what the situation is. My life and my head are in pieces and am currently drinking as much alcohol as I can combined with tramadol and my other meds. I know it's a bad idea but It makes me unconscious so I don't think or worry.

OldieB, I have been praying so much over the past 24 hours and god hasn't listened. Why would he do this to us? We are good honest hardworking people who just want to get by in life and he seems to kick us down constantly. I have nursed my late parents who both died in my arms, I nursed the elderly couple next door for 3 years and I love animals and would do anything for anyone but yet here we are again....it's always us!!!! Why?????

I'm not coping at all and I'm so scared x

[Jo61]

You are so right Charli - the alcohol won't help - the pain will still be there when the booze wears off. You are a good person and you have done so much good for others. It is so unfair that you are suffering so much yourself - but rather than hurt yourself more - can you not find a little more strength and get some real help to ease the pain long term - no one needs to endure long term pain by themselves and we all want so much for you to feel better......what can we do to help you to help yourself.......how can we offer support - there are enough of us here who care - tell us what we can do.............

[MrScamp]

Hope dear Charlie, that you heart is able to hear all those people who are reaching out to you just as you have reached out to others.

Part of your recovery, apparently recovery is possible, will be about setting new rules and boundaries which will help you not only to manage how much Energy is safe for you to expend on others whilst conserving enough to enable you to nurture you and restore your own energy before have overreached and totally exhausted your reserves.

It is a trait in people like us not to listen to ourselves until it is too late. We over stretch ourselves in so many ways and totally neglect our need to balance.

Perhaps God is reaching out to you through all these people (as an example) and I am sure that if you allow yourself to receive even a small amount of the love and care that you have shown to others you will be able to feel Gods presence in your life.

Sending out kind thoughts of waves of healing energies coming your way.

Darri

[nickychalk1961]

Hi charlie you don`t know me but from what I have red you are going through a tough time, i`m no specialist and am not the sharpest knife in the draw(if you know what I mean) but I do know about pain, I am a carer by trade(well I was) until last year when the Dr told me that all the pain that I was in was due to me having Fibromialga, and that I would not be able to do the Job I had loved and done for over thirty years anymore, my world is also falling apart I am on so many painkillers I don`t know how I stand up some days, the only reason I have coped is like all the other lovely people on here have said, by telling the Dr, friends, family and my lovely partner(who is now my carer) how I am feeling I now have a brilliant network of specialists, Dr`s, an OT, physio, psychiatrist the council are even going to do my bungalow so that I have wheelchair access, it does not stop the pain, but it does make life bearable, like the others have said if you do ever want to talk I would love to hear from you, all the best Charlie from Nicky xx