Fibromyalgia Action UK

Family & DLA

Recently I brought up the idea of applying for DLA with my mum and dad. This did not go down well as my dad does not think that I am entitled to it .. Which led to a big argument! I feel like my fibro has got so much worse in the last 4 years since my diagnosis .. Yes I am at University and yes I have been 'trying' to work but not with out crying in pain most nights.

My dad feels that people who are worse off should only get DLA and he does not see me as 'disabled' .. Even though when I was at University I received a temporary blue badge from them so I could park in the disabled bays (as I do not have a blue badge).

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

My family, especially my dad seem to be ignoring my pain and recent problems .. Maybe he is finding it hard to accept that it is getting worse? I know I am the only person who can tell if my pain is getting worse but I don't want to end up applying and then causing more arguments etc.

8 Replies

DLA is not means tested and it is to help us have as normal a life as possible. If things have got worse for you then I say go for it. This is for YOU. You have FMS, not your parents. I'm sorry they are dismissing your pain and feel you don't deserve any help or support. It isn't about being disabled, it is about being enabled.

Gentle hugs



Hi Jillylin,

Thank you for your comment. I will be having a look into it over the weekend :)

C xxx


I personally don't think it's any of your parent's business - do you really have to tell them what you do financially? If you feel you are in need, then you should apply, but don't feel you have to discuss it with your parents.

Older people have strange attitudes to what they see as charity, but bear in mind that you are very unlikely to be awarded DLA or PIP unless you really need it, and it is an entitlement to help disabled people to manage.

Parents find it very difficult to accept illness or disability in their children - it's painful for them to think about, so they tend to ignore it unless there's something specific that they can do.

You're grown up now, so you have to 'do your own thing' without parental approval if necessary.

Moffy x


Apply for it, get the benefits & work guides from

they help you to fill the forms in.

I think you maybe right, that your parents are finding it hard to accept how you are - many do. they're not necessarily being unkind,

If you do get awarded it, it will , as jillylin says, en-able you to live your life :)

and your parents may be abe to see that too.

if you don't get it 1st time, appeal!

let us know and feel free to ask questions.





I agree with Moffy,you do not need your parent's approval or permission, you are an adult and your business is your own and no one else's. if you feel you need extra help and financial support you have nothing to lose. Just try and avoid discussing it with people who don't approve. It simply causes unnecessary stress and you do not want that. Just keep it to yourself. Good luck.


Agreed . . Once you are 18 your parents don't even need to know but get help with the application form as if you don't your claim may not be accepted as with Fibro and ME/CFS the questions are inappropriate for the condition so you need to know how to answer them truthfully but in a way that explains your condition and how it affects you to best effect.


go ahead hun and apply for DLA yes you deserve it if it makes your life a bit better . your over 18 nothing to do with your parents .


It is very hard when parents are if you like " in denial " mine were a bit like that for years and at times I had to walk on egg shells for fear of yet another row! If you need this help then go for it!

My daughter often is very hard on e because she doesn't want Mum to be so poorly ,so she pretends its not happening....and says I just need to be positive! At times the only positive in my life is " I positively feel very ill! " :-(

Hope you can soon sort this out x

Sendng you Rainbow hugs x (((((((((((((((((((((((((rainbow )))))))))))))))))))))))


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