This isn't really a health question, but I'm hoping this community of lovely people in a similar position to me might be able to share some wisdom.
I've been in my job for 5 years and I'm SO ready for a new challenge. In truth, I've probably been ready to move for a number of years but I've been TTC for a long time and in the last 2 years, we've also been doing IVF [two egg collections and one failed FET]. My company offers a good maternity leave package (6 months paid) and the role is fairly easy/flexible because I've been there a long time. The pay isn't bad either, but it's also not going up anytime soon.
Some days, I think the best option is to move jobs because who knows if I've ever even be able to have kids? On other days, I think the best option is to stay in my cushy job and focus on my IVF journey. If I change jobs, I'd most likely have to wait years for good maternity leave? Shouldn't I focus on one stressful thing at a time?
I'm heading towards my next FET in March. Wish me luck!
Would love to hear your stories and advice.
x
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Blueberries1934
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Hey, thanks so much for sharing this. I can completely relate to this. We have been trying to conceive our second with IVF since I started my current job, it allows me to work from home and it's a good salary which helps put money towards the ivf but it is extremely stressful and requires me to travel round the world which I don't think is helping with keeping stress levels down. Like you I feel completely trapped in this job because I keep worrying about maternity leave and money. It's the constant what ifs that then stop you from making any decisions. I think having a cushy job is great for keeping your stress levels down but so is your happiness and if you feel like starting a new job with better prospects would make you happy then I say go for it.
I had a long chat with my friends about this and they all said you can't control the what ifs and as you said we don't know if we will be successful in our pregnancy journeys (although hopefully we will). It's so hard to put yourself into another stressful situation when you are already dealing with IVF but I've decided this week that I can't put the rest of my life on hold so I have made the step this week to apply for some new jobs.
Not sure if that helps at all but nice to know someone is also struggling with career decisions.
I'm also heading for a FET in March so please feel free to reach out. Good luck x
defo don’t hold back on the job front would be my advice! BUT I wouldn’t work for a company with a crap maternity policy either so perhaps take your time and find the right job with the right employee benefits too! Xx
I’m in exactly the same position…I’d love a new challenge and a fresh career start but I’m in a director level job that is well paid, ok, nice people and not that challenging/a bit boring. Certainly not my forever job!
However…my boss is extremely supportive of my ivf journey and I can take as much time off as I need no questions asked. I’m having treatment abroad and she’s 100% flexible with me working on flights, at an air bnb for days on end, use of hot desk communal offices abroad (on expenses) or me working strange hours. Equally I can take the time off paid if I prefer. So once I weighed it up I thought I’d stick for now as this journey to us is so much more important than any job - and I can focus on that later. I also don’t know how any other employer may be in terms of support and time off, especially for a new starter trying to learn a business and prove themselves. I wouldn’t want the stress of that during a probation period!
I can very much relate to this! Even though I have bad days at work (who doesn't?), my employer has been extremely supportive and flexible. It's just hard to plan for when (or if) the journey will ever end, and if it's better to change jobs now or if I might have kids one day? Such a dilemma! Best of luck with your treatment abroad x
Heya - thank you for writing this post ! And I’m in the exact same position. I’ve been with my company 8 years and have an incredibly supportive boss plus great maternity perks (and as an American company, even IVF support). I did take a promotion within my role whilst I was actually pregnant (resulted in miscarriage) and I regret it a little, as the job has a lot more travelling, pressure and responsibility, I couldn’t imagine how stressed I’d be if I was in a new company too trying to prove myself and potentially alongside an unsupportive boss.
I think I still have time to change my career - but not much time left to have a family (I’m 38 this year) so I will be staying with them until my journey eventually comes to an end and then I can reevaluate my career. Not sure if this helps xxx good luck xxx
It's very true that stress is linked with fertility... and jobs come with stress! I like your point on having time to change your career but not having time to have a family. Thanks - good food for thought... Good luck with your journey xx
ooo its a really good question and something that people who have been on this journey a long time will be able to relate to.
I moved from a job many years ago that had a really non supportive policy around appointments and I moved before starting my own fertility journey as knew I didn’t want the added pressure of working all the time back.
Not quite the same but I recently started taking on a new work area in my current workplace that involves more travel and busy work tasks and should hopefully have more career opportunities while also starting our first DE round. Why? Because for the last 5 years I’ve been on this assisted fertility journey it’s dominated almost all my decisions and so much of my identity. This has helped me so much to feel connected to who I am outside of fertility battles and I know if this round isn’t successful I have done other things also important to me. It’s also meant my brain has other things to think about and is less stressed doing IVF.
Maybe look around and see what else might interest you but do check the fine print on the benefits package.
"I know if this round isn’t successful I have done other things also important to me" -> love this ❤️
Thanks so much. I agree that the fine print on benefits packages is key... I know some maternity perks are only available if you've been with a company for 2+ years which isn't entirely helpful when you're TTC or in your mid-30s!
I'm in a similar situation, been TTC for over two years and many career ups and down in between. I'd say if you can afford not to worry about mat leave policy go for what's best for you right now, regardless of the IVF journey. This is working for me as I found it more stressful to put things off and delay changes only because I'm going through IVF which is not something I was happy about doing any longer. I'm heading towards a FET in probably the worst time work wise now but I do not longer care. I cannot control how it will go so I've decided to keep doing things that benefit my well-being right now without trying to plan pregnancy etc. but do what works best for you!
I feel I'm starting to head this way. Naively I really thought the first round would work so it's been a harsh reality check that IVF is not a guarantee and this journey could take years, not months. Delaying life is making it harder. Thanks for sharing. Hope your FET goes well x
I've been holding on in my job until my IVF journey ends either way. I'm on an older contract with good maternity pay. I'm 40 in August and I think it'll be a pivotal moment for me to make a move.
I'm grateful for my career though as if I wasn't on the salary I'm on I'd never been able to afford IVF or give my son the life he deserves.
So completely get it. If it’s any help, I decided to go for it. I’m still in notice period for the old job right now but I’ll let you know how I go! 😄Scary taking leap into unknown but I do feel its right call xx
yes if I’m honest I would concentrate on one thing at a time. I really struggled to hold my own at work through IVF and I could not have contemplated the challenge of a new job. Plus the maternity package is a real bonus.
Once your baby/ babies are here you have the next 20+ years to focus again on your career if you wish to. From my own experience, I would use your mental energy on the IVF and allow yourself a little ‘cruise’ at work xx
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Over 40yrs 4th transfer 3dpt
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IVF or keep trying? 
Giving up work
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