IVF or keep trying?

[Sophbee]

We have had the news that my AMH is very low as in 1 which is surprising as I'm only 34 and we have been told our best option for success is IVF ... we have been struggling for nearly 2 years and I did fall pregnant just before Christmas only to misscarry ... we saw the IVF consultant today and although I am desperate for a little one it is all moving very fast and my family think that I should wait ... I am totally confused as waiting and seeing as my sister has suggested means my egg supply is only going to get lower ? But at the same time the success rate of IVF is low isn't it? Also having negative views against the whole IVF from my family so that isn't helping!! Has anyone experienced this or similar?

[Hidden]

Speaking from my own experience I would start with ivf, you can always try naturally in between xx

[AlexHoBo]

Hi @Sophbee, we were in the same situation, discovered that my AMH was low at 34.

I didn't want to start with IVF immediately but after 1,5 year of trying naturally, a few months of stimulation only and one failed IUI we have now started IVF 10 days ago (we're at the stimulation stage) after 2 years of trying.

We did want to make sure we tried all different options before rushing into IVF (changed doctor last year who was way to pushy towards IVF, didn't like it), family was also telling us to "relax" and not to over dramatise... very annoying They are now supportive though and we're hoping for the best.

If you haven't tried IUI yet maybe you can try to do once before jumping to IVF (You did fall pregnant naturally even though you have a low ovarian reserve which is encouraging, sorry about the miscarriage though). Make sure you trust your doctor and get the support needed.

Good luck!!! xx

[Sophbee in reply to AlexHoBo]

Hi Alex .. I did mention to them about iui and they seemed to be against it despite my sister being successful on iui (she also had trouble conceiving but this was 7 years ago before the amh test existed) maybe I should ask again

[AlexHoBo in reply to Sophbee]

Did they say why they were against it? Our doc said the chances were low but to try nonetheless as less invasive and less expensive.... but not worth doing a few I'd say. It might also be less of a shock if you go through IVF afterwards.

[KiraJean]

Hi Sophbee,

I'm 33 and have great AMH and have had trouble conceiving with IVF being no guarantee of success, so I'm not sure being young actually helps as much as consultants say it does. I think the main thing is that you have to be comfortable with the idea of trying IVF before you start it. Maybe take a bit of a break and see how you feel? Remember you need to do what is best for yourself and your partner. Your family may have their own opinions, which will of course matter to you, but ultimately it is your life xxx

[Sophbee in reply to KiraJean]

Thank you for your thoughts... I think I'm going to ask again about iui - I should have really asked today at my consultation but didn't really think about it ... I think you might be right about it being less of a shock. I'll let you know what they say x

[AlexHoBo in reply to Sophbee]

In the meantime try acupuncture, osteopathy, yoga or similar to try to balance your body and have some time for yourself x

[katya38]

Your amh levels can decrease very quickly so if I was you I wouldn't wait xx

[Sophbee in reply to katya38]

Thanks - I hadn't considered that at all .. and now wondering if they had mentioned that before

[emu2016]

I was 33 when I found out I had low AMH. Go straight to IVF, no harm trying in between 😜

Read Zita West's book about fertility and stay in touch on here.

My egg quantity or quantity will never improve xx

[danny137]

Hi 👋🏽 I'm 34 and have a AMH score of 0.64 to even have IVF with your own eggs it has to be above 6. So I only have the option of going straight to donor eggs x If I was you I'd jump at the chance if the consultant suggested it xx hugs xx

[Cyantist]

Usually I always tell people to wait and try if they are unsure but I wouldn't wait if I were you. My AMH was 4.7 and I was told that it was very important I have IVF sooner rather than later in case it dropped further. As katya said the levels can drop relatively quickly.

Will you be funded by the NHS? CCGs are making their criteria for funding ever harder. Some areas won't fund low AMH levels so if it dropped more you might miss out. When I had IVF last year, my area would only fund if you were under 35, which is ridiculous, so I only just made it. They have now decided to drop the number of cycles from 3 to 1 and increase the age limit, but I suspect if they need to do any more cost saving they'll reduce the age limit again.

I always thought the success rate was low, but for my age (also 34) at my clinic the success rate was over 70%.

With us it was me with the really negative view of IVF whereas my family were trying to push me into it. In the end we had tried for 10 years until we finally gave in and gave it a go but it's the best decision we made. What is it your family are against?

[Sophbee in reply to Cyantist]

My in laws are quite religious so are quite against it and my mum well doesn't like drs in general.. my sister went through a very similar thing but she was trying for 7years before she went down the iui route - she's not against it just thinks that we are rushing and is very quick to tell me that she was trying for so long ...

70% success rate for you clinic is great I don't think ours is anywhere near that but not so worried about that as I guess it's a lot to do with the individual.

[Cyantist in reply to Sophbee]

How old was she when she eventually went ahead with the iui? I tried for 10 years but when you start ttc at the age of 23 you can afford to wait that long. If you wait until you've been trying for 7 years you'll be almost 40 and your chances will be lower then. Of course there is a good chance you'd conceive anyway over those next 5 years and out of my long term ttc friends most conceived naturally after they had been trying for 2-4 years but if it doesn't happen you'll probably wish you'd had treatment as soon as you had the chance.

As for the in laws, don't tell them. It's none of their business! None of our family know we have had Ivf and I don't ever plan to tell them.

[Buffy21]

Sorry going to be harsh but this is not your family's life it's yours! I would ask them why they think you should wait?What do they they will happen if you wait? The risks only goes up over 35. My AMH was 4.4 which is normal but on the lower scale. We tried for nearly two years. Got referred in Aug to NHS decided to go private in November started IVF in Jan got pregnant first attempt in Feb now 8 wks pregnant best decision ever!! I'll have the baby shortly before my 40th birthday . I definitely didnt want to wait.

Hope my story inspires you and gives you courage as for low success rate I prove that theory wrong too. Xx

[vic77 in reply to Buffy21]

Your story inspires me. I am 39 two bfns after two icsi cycles and amh of 4.6 when tested last June before first cycle then 9.9 when tested before 2nd cycle..huge congrats to you..hope we are as lucky 3rd time round xxx

[Buffy21 in reply to vic77]

I truly hope you are too. We didn't expect it at all. Paid for 2 rounds up front as it was cheaper!xx

[Sophbee]

Sorry can I ask those of you with low amh do you have any menopause signs? My consultant keeps asking. I'm currently having heavy and long periods have done so for the last year and I've just read that that might be a sign always assumed that periods would be lighter with menopause ? I actually did have some acupuncture before and that seemed to help with my periods but I stopped going as the acupuncturist went on maternity leave.

[danny137 in reply to Sophbee]

No menopause signs from me I've always had a unpredictable cycle but really light I can have 10 days in between to 60 😖

[Buffy21 in reply to Sophbee]

No issues with periods other than bit lighter but I put that down to lots of sport. Before falling pregnant I exercised 5-6 times a week and body fat very low xx

[pm27]

2 years is hardly rushing into IVF. It's none of their business, it's down to you & your OH. Lots of people have strong ideas about fertility treatment but they are usually have been able to have children naturally. We were advised at the beginning of our treatment to only share with people we thought would be supportive, in our case that was my parents, my siblings, mother in law and couple of friends. I also told my work colleagues just in case they needed to cover for me. There is no need to share information with your family or if you do perhaps only tell them very basic information.

Success rates vary but obviously they decrease with age & are dependent on other factors.

Although it all seems to be moving quickly there is a lot of waiting involved in the process. I felt better once treatment actually started.

[Sunshine09]

Dont listen to anyone else, you have to do what your partner feel, my advice is don't wait, I did I have al aye wanted kids but for career and different circumstances hubby and I put it off till my early forties never thought there would have been any problems, but I have a very low Amh but normal fsh, we only have a 1-3% chance with ivf but I am taking that!! Hopefully starting next 4-5 weeks, if it's the best shot you have to go with it, and although your Amh is low it's not that low, and your egg quality should be better as to wait till nearer 40, my advice go for it, don't wait xx❤💋🌈 good luck with whatever you decide x

[Sunshine09]

I have all blood tests showing no sign of menopause, normal regular cycles missed two periods in year and a half, so in my head there is still some eggs there, and it only takes 1 ❤🌈💙

[Hannah143]

Hey Sophbee I'm hannah, nice to meet you. Yes it's a very confusing journey and you must stick to what you want, and if that is a baby you should do what you have to do to get there.

My advice to you is don't wait. My AMH is 5.5, it was 6.6 18 months ago so yes it does decline and the older you are the lower it gets and the harder it is to become pregnant. You volume will decrease but also the quality of your eggs. We are all different and will all decline at different speeds but we all get to the same place at some point. I started trying at 37 and I'll be 40 in May! So had three years and many attempts at IVF, so my guidance to you is not to wait.

If you are going to go NHS IVF nothing is fast anyway, it's months from your initial conversation to treatment. I got referred by my doc in Feb and we got our first treatment in November! The wait was a killer! Although you seem to spend a lot of time just waiting on IVF.

It's always hard when you have opposing views in the family, I've had some conversations with my mum when she suggested that it was all to stressful for me and that perhaps it's time to give up trying and deal with fact I won't have kids!! As you can imagine that went down like a cold bag of sick!! She doesn't know what's it's like as she had 2 children, so until you know what's it's like have to face into that decision i don't think it's anyone's place to give that advice, especially my mum!

So totally know how hard it is, but you are a strong, independent lady, who knows that she wants to have a baby and be a Mum.

Follow your dreams 🌈💞🦄🌠

Xx

[72cloud9]

So my story...from 38 trying naturally -have always felt young so kidded myself. 40 miscarried but everyone said don't do IVF as clearly u can get pregnant!! IVF started at 44 as I didn't get pregnant! Now I'm 45 and just about to do my last IVF with 1 last embryo and my thoughts are... I wish I hadn't waited!! I know I'm older than u but my amh was a tad higher than urs,although not by much -it also halved in a year! So I'm not trying to alarm u I just don't want u to leave it 2 late! I really don't want someone else to feel like me.There's still no guarantees but at least u can know u tried everything!! If your sister is on board, maybe have her and us as your confidante and don't tell ur family if u decide to go ahead as u don't need any negative energy during this journey.

If u r still on the fence, maybe just book a consultation to see what is said and see how u feel from there.

Sorry again if my message a bit strong but I'm so mad at myself for waiting and u r still young.want to try & save someone else the regrets I have!!

Big hugs and good luck whatever u decide xxx

[Sophbee]

Annoyingly it's my sister that is the biggest opposition! As I would really like tonne able to talk to her about it she thinks it's all going to fast ... I'm not eligible for NHS so would have to pay if we go for it i would be starting Tuesday

[burkeee]

Hello! This is really a tough decision.You have so much to think over, and, you know, that everyone here is trying to give you their advices, but we cannot be in your shoes. We can only share our experience. I wish you to make a right choice! and don't forget that the time flies very quickly and we are not getting younger. and while you thinking, try to ask yourself - "what will you lose if you tried to do ivf? and what it can bring you?". this question helped me to decide one day.

[Sophbee in reply to burkeee]

Thank you again all for you input ... definitely helping come up with questions to ask myself and the nurses I phoned them earlier and my treatment wouldn't actually start until may/June so ive stopped panicking so much - although I know that will go quick it does give me a little time to make my mind up!

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Time really flies when you're trying. Like all of us on here, I think we all wish we had started sooner. We all find things to beat ourselves up about as well.

I think maybe, having experienced it herself, your sister is keen for you to avoid the unpleasantness that is assisted conception. But no one else can make the decision for you. And it doesn't sound as though she had the same diagnosed issues as you. Once you've made your decision, she might be supportive whilst you go through it. If not, then I agree with the other people on here who suggest not sharing the experience with her. It's hard, but when you're going through this, you need to people to be supportive.