Work and IVF

[Kat_15]

Hi lovely people

Thanks so much to everyone who has messaged following our failed recent cycle. It really means a lot to me and my hubby so thank you. 💛

I wanted to ask your advice about juggling full time work and IVF. I have a full time job in the NHS which I love but it can be very pressured and stressful at times although I am lucky at the moment I can work from home. I tend to work around 45-50 hours a week on average.

We have been through three egg collections, one FET and one fresh cycle in the last 18 months and we have been trying for almost four years now. I’m 37 later this year so conscious that I want to get going with our next cycle as soon as we feel ready.

For this cycle I was able to take a mixture of leave and special leave (as my boss and some of my co-workers now know but they didn’t previously) which has helped massively with my mental health and coping with the side effects of the drugs.

I can just about juggle IVF and work but I am conscious I can’t keep taking time off every couple of months as it puts pressure on my team and colleagues. I also worry the stress my work creates is not good for my fertility so I am seriously considering asking for a career break or if this isn’t possible leaving my job. It would be tighter money wise but we would manage.

I just feel sad about it as I enjoy my job (most of the time!) and if I were to get pregnant I have dreamt of going on maternity leave like so many other people I have worked with over the years but I have been hoping that would happen for over 4+ years and sadly it hasn’t happened yet for me.

Any experiences or advice? I just feel like our IVF journey is not going to be a straightforward one and would want to do a few more cycles before we think of next steps.

xxx

[Orangeflowers]

Hi, I also work for the NHS. I work centrally now, but when I worked for a Teaching Hospital they had a policy which included paid time off for IVF. Didn't use it as left it a bit late to get started, but if you haven't already, I would check the policy

[Kat_15 in reply to Orangeflowers]

Hello, sorry for my slow reply. Took a little break from here for a while. Yes I’m very lucky my employer gave me paid time off for my first cycle and then unpaid for other cycles which is really good but just conscious I can’t keep taking loads of time off every other month. Just about to start another cycle and have decided just to take a week off this time and just take it easy at work when I can. I’m working from home which makes it a bit easier. If this cycle doesn’t go as planned then we’re going to take a break and then I will decide whether I ask for a career break. Wishing you lots of luck for your onward journey. xx

[ADC2019]

Everyone handles things differently and you need to do what's best for you. When I first started IUI I was encouraged to apply for promotion. I hadn't told my work I was getting treatment and didn't think it would be right to apply then couple months later tell them I was pregnant so I withdrew my app. After 3 unsuccessful attempts of IUI, I decided I couldn't keep putting life on hold and applied for the next promotion, my start date coincided with my 4th treatment and I was so stressed out that week trying to do training, handovers and rush away to hospital appts without anyone noticing i thought i had no chance.That was only time in my life I ever got a BFP but I think it probably helped that I was too busy working to obsess over my treatmemt. (MC @ 11wks). I'm currently in my 2ww for my 1st ivf and its been torture, the only day that has actually been ok was the day I went to office last week. For me I need something else to focus on to distract me from Google and symptom spotting. Good luck whatever you decide to do x

[Kat_15 in reply to ADC2019]

Hi ya, sorry for my slow reply. Took a little break from here for a while after our last cycle. I hope your last cycle went okay, sending positive thoughts to you.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I really appreciate it. It’s so hard to know what to do for the best. I have decided to work through my next cycle apart from a week of annual leave and if that doesn’t go as hoped then take a break for a while before deciding what to do about my job so going to plough on with work for the time being.

Like you, I really enjoy my job even though it’s pretty stressful at times.

Wishing you lots of luck with your journey. xx

[Judy18]

At the end of the day you need to do what is best for you. I work full time (and wfh at the moment which helps) and my boss knows and had been so supportive. During my last treatment i pushed myself to go in when i was feeling awful and don’t think it helped but was worried about what my boss would think. Had a procedure on Tuesday and had to take the Wednesday off and my boss carried on being just as supportive.

If you need time off take it. This is a hard journey and is a real battle. Your colleagues will be fine. Just think- would you support one of them if they were going through this? I bet you would.

Love and hugs and take care xxx

[Kat_15 in reply to Judy18]

Hello, sorry for my slow reply. Took a little break from here for a while. How are you? I see you’re in your 2ww, sending you lots of positive vibes and virtually hugs.

I have decided to stay at work for the time being as like you, my manager and director have been really supportive which really helps and I am working from home for the foreseeable which helps. I am about to start my next cycle tomorrow which is a bit of an experiment as I am trying lower dose stims on a short cycle to go for quality not quantity as my body never seems to want to produce many eggs!

If it doesn’t go as we hope then we will take a break before deciding anything about my job etc and when we try again.

Wishing you lots of luck and keeping my fingers crossed for you. xxx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Kat. Thought you might like to read through this info that I normally email to people that need it. Hope it helps.To give you some insight, In the UK, employees have a right to absences for pre-natal and for post-natal care and the right to request flexible working but pre conception care is not a statutory right. Maternity rights under the Equality Act 2010 and protection apply from the date of embryo transfer (often referred to as the implantation of an embryo). If fertility treatment is successful, maternity rights and protection continue from the date of embryo transfer until the end of a woman’s maternity leave. If fertility treatment is not successful, maternity rights and protection apply from the date of embryo transfer and then for a further two weeks after a negative test (which is typically taken two weeks after embryo transfer/implantation).

I hope this has been helpful, here is a link to our factsheet on employment issues which goes into more detail. fertilitynetworkuk.org/wp-c...

As a charity we are really trying to raise awareness around employment issues and have launched a new initiative where we are hoping to work with employers. Please check out the following link for more information -

fertilitynetworkuk.org/fert...

All the best for your upcoming treatment. Diane

[Kat_15 in reply to DianeArnold]

Hi Diane, so sorry for not getting back to your message sooner. This is really helpful, thank you very much for sharing this. x

[Bistbee]

Hi Kat, I really struggled to juggle a full time job and IVF - i went through 3 fresh cycles and a frozen transfer whilst working and it nearly broke me. I decided to try freelance this year and whilst it hasn’t exactly gone to plan (thanks covid) it does mean ive been able to focus more on treatment and the last cycle we did as part of embryo hatching i felt so much better when i was going through it, less tired and hormonal, and we got the best number of embryos to freeze that we’ve ever had! Obviously I don’t know for sure whether it’s having less pressure which helped but it’s been much easier to deal

with. It was a really hard decision to make to step back from my career that i’ve spent 10 years building but i hope it’s going to be worth it in the long term once we get through ivf 🤞🏻🤞🏻 and hopefully i can pick it back up eventually. I think if your gut is saying you want to try and take some time off then listen, only you know how much you can take and I knew that I was at breaking point and something had to change. We weren’t ready to call it a day with ivf at that point so my job was the only option. It been a really hard transition and not having a distraction from ivf at times has felt very overwhelming - the downside is i have lost myself a little without having a focus outside the house (again thanks covid 🙄) but am hoping to get some part time work on a freelance basis soon so i hope that will help whilst not being too stressful when doing our next cycle.

Do you have the option to reduce your hours at all to give yourself a better balance? It might be a start to see how you feel with taking a sabbatical as a fallback option ?

Working and going through treatment is so so hard, people just don’t get it and won’t understand why you feel you need to take a step back but ultimately you need to do what is right for you and your family. I also had worries about the financial side of things but so far we’ve made it work and had to adjust slightly but for the time being it’s doable.

[Kat_15 in reply to Bistbee]

Hello, thanks so much for your very helpful message. I really appreciate it and so sorry I haven’t got back sooner. I took a little break from here after our last cycle. How are you?

Thanks for sharing your experiences and so sorry to hear you have had to go through so much. It’s such a rollercoaster isn’t it! 😩🤪

I feel like something will need to give in the next few months for us. We have decided to go through one more cycle (I’m starting tomorrow) then have a break over Christmas if it doesn’t go as hoped and then decide next steps from there. I think that’s when I may seriously consider taking a career break or applying for a sabbatical.

I know I will be working from home for at least six months now which helps in the interim too.

Glad it has helped you coping with IVF but sorry to hear Covid had a impact on your freelance work. Bloody Covid! It really needs to do one now!

Sending you positive vibes for your onward journey. Thanks again for reaching out. Xx