Changing work and IVF advice

[melwise42]

Hiya, first time posting but have been reading lots of the advice so thank you .

I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar experience to me. I'm 36, i've got stage 3 endometriosis, and been TTC for 2 years with no luck. After a lap in August, I'm now being referred for IVF due to the amount of damage done by endo, lack of eggs and my age. Sadly not with my lovely consultant as it takes longer as they are short staffed, so being referred to a private clinic that takes NHS patients.

My question is, has anyone changed jobs during this process and what is your experience? My job has been stressful for over 2 years and finding it really hard recently. A year ago we had our first fertility appointment and I thought I should wait to change jobs, now I'm here a year later, still no pregnancy and stuck in a negative job! I keep being advised to stick it out and leave after maternity leave (if it goes successfully) but it's hard having your life on hold for even longer...

More of a rant but wondered if anyone started a new job around the same time as IVF and your experience! I'm also a gardener so the physical toll is also a factor.

Thanks xx

[Millbanks]

Hi lovely,

Sorry to hear of your situation - it's not an easy journey.

I stayed in my job because of the excellent mat leave policy, thinking it wouldn't be too long - 5 years later I am back at work after mat leave....

However when I returned to work my role changed slightly and I love it now! I wouldn't want to leave at all.

Sometimes these things just work out. I think you have to weigh up how miserable it is making you, compared to the stress of starting a new job and potentially not being eligible for mat leave perks. But also be aware that IVF can sometimes take a good long while - and you could be stuck in your stressful job, waiting to be released! Also worth noting that most jobs require you to come back for at least 6 months after mat leave or you have to pay back any benefits. Worth checking that too.

xx

[Twiglet2]

defo change jobs and continue leading your life 🤗 if you end up pregnant and in a new job then it’s a good problem to have but as you have already found out everything with IVf takes ages so I wouldn’t wait to sort out the job situation as it’s more likely it will take another wee while, I’ve been made redundant, moved jobs and been promoted over the years doing IVF and it was all fine 💜 xx

[Endofitall]

It’s such a hard decision. But don’t get stuck in a job that’s making you miserable. IVF can take a good long while (I have endo and low AMH) so you can hold on thinking it’s just around the corner but then find (like me) that it’s years later and you’re still not pregnant and still going through IVF. Sorry to be negative there but the others are right not to put life on hold. I would also say it’s important to be in a job that’ll be supportive and not stressful or strenuous while going through IVF. Best of luck xx

[CardiGrey]

I’m currently doing ovulation induction. A job came up that was something I’d been wanting to do for a while. However, I thought this cycle could be it, so I didn’t go for it. Turns out, it wasn’t and now I really regret not going for it. I do feel that we are often in limbo, but I’ve learnt that life does always have a way of working itself out. As other posters have said, you have to weigh up the pros and cons. Is it worth sticking it out or is causing too much stress? I’m sure things will work out whatever your decision and best of luck with your fertility journey xx

[Ctk123]

I left my job as a teacher when I knew we were heading for IVF as I couldn’t deal with the stress of both work and treatment and having a child is more important to me than my career. Sad that I had to make that decision but given what we’ve been through since starting IVF it was definitely the right decision - my current job have been very supportive and I know my old place wouldn’t have been. Wishing you the best of luck x

[CyclingAddict]

I changed jobs the week I found out I was pregnant after my 6th embryo transfer. This is a difficult one to answer as IVF is often a long journey for many of us (my IVF journey lasted almost 3 years) and waiting until its successful might not be the best idea, particularly if you're struggling in your current role.

In my experience, how your employer deals with it can vary a lot. If you work for a local authority then they are required to provide some maternity leave and benefits. If you work in the private sector, that can be a bit more tricky and I've heard a few negative stories from people who had a bad experience.

Given what you've said, I'd say move jobs rather than stick in at a job where you are being undervalued. But make sure you check companies' maternity policies.

Good luck x

[AdoptedTOWIE]

The week I started my IVF meds this summer, my company went into administration, which was extremely stressful. Fortunately we got bought by another company and I've kept my job and benefits as we got TUPE-d across with contracts.

While I'd say don't put your life on hold with IVF, be careful with your timing. In the private sector (no idea about public) you are legally entitled to maternity leave if you get pregnant before starting a new job, but you do not qualify for statutory pay. You would get a basic maternity pay from the government probably, but this is about as bad as it sounds! Some companies may be nicer about this than others, but essentially you need to have been working there about a month before getting pregnant to be safe. Check out the gov.uk pages on this if you haven't already.

Essentially, you have to ask yourself whether you (and your partner?) would be able to manage financially if you only get very basic maternity pay, and work out timings around that knowledge, if you can. Don't hold yourself and your family back, but be aware of your rights and their limitations.

Wishing you the very best of luck! X

[Keepondreaming in reply to AdoptedTOWIE]

Hi check maternity allowance as if you have made national insurance contributions u can have maternity allowance instead of Mat pay if you have just changed jobs and don’t qualify for statutory Mat pay x

[Keepondreaming]

hi

I stayed in my job for the same reasons. 5 years later we are yet to have a successful pregnancy. My job has now changed and I do enjoy it much more however it is stressful. Looking back I would honestly just move jobs, I wish I had when I was unhappy as no one know how long you will be in this journey. Wishing you lots of luck xx

[melwise42]

Thank you so much everyone for your advice and sharing your experience. This has given me loads to think about but also hope that I don't have to feel trapped in my job...I will be looking at jobs and maternity allowance advice then! I always think we stay in jobs way longer than we should and don't want to make this mistake, especially when you don't want more stress on top of going through IVF. Thanks so much and wishing everyone the best in their continued journeys too xxx

[Purplecarrot]

I have changed jobs twice during the process. The first change brought my stress level down a huge amount at first, which can only be a good thing. It was also shorter hours and they were very flexible with me for appointments etc. I had my EC the second week I was there!I recently changed job again, this time actually doing EC in the week between leaving the old job and starting the new one, so have been needing to bring meds, needles etc with me to work. I'd have had to do that in my previous jobs too though so no real difference - it has been manageable!

How long do you need to be in your job before you qualify for maternity leave?

[LondonBase]

Had eggs retrieved in Dec 2023. My first FET in Feb while looking for a job because I had been made redundant. It didn't work, had my second one 2 months into the job. Ended in miscarriage. Third FET is hopefully in 1-2 months. This is a long process, can take years sometimes, so might not make sense not to change jobs. But I am lucky because I work from home and am 30 mins away from the clinic, so it didn't take that long for appointments.