third failed ivf transfer :( I’m abso... - Fertility Network UK

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third failed ivf transfer :( I’m absolutely shattered

PA86 profile image
PA86
42 Replies

hiya,

I’ve just tested negative after my third transfer.

This time I changed Clinics, the clinic was more through, my progesterone levels were good, I have a hysteroscopy, acupuncture. I was put onto clexane. Post hysteroscopy I had polyps removed. I am 34 years old. I already have a son from my very first successful ivf cycle and he is nearly 4. I am absolutely devastated as my gut told me it was positive after two failed attempts. What do I do? Is there a point trying again and if so what do I ask for this time ?

To say I’m devastated is an understatement I haven’t stopped crying. Just feel like a failure. I just want to give my child a sibling as I am an only child. How can this happen and why???

is there any chance the urine pregnancy test was false negative or am I clutching at straws ? I tested after 14 days post transfer. I can’t even call my clinic as it’s a Sunday. What do I do ?

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PA86
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42 Replies
Poop84 profile image
Poop84

hi I'm sorry to hear this. Are your embryos pgs tested? Have your clinic considered era , Alice and Emma tests? I had similar to you lots of cycles that didn't work. But I did all the investigations with my new clinic as it gave me hope of doing all I can to make it work

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toPoop84

No the clinic didn’t do pgt or Emma Alice. They felt when I made the embryos I was 29 years old and they felt the pgt was going to show normal embryos but they said if it failed that would be the next step. Have you had these tests done ? What’s your experience been.

I don’t understand all my tests were fine why is the embryos not sticking. What is the benefit of pgt, Emma and Alice ?

Poop84 profile image
Poop84 in reply toPA86

it was recommended due to implantation failure after I used 2/3 embryos. I had to push and push for it but ended u moving clinics in the end

Poop84 profile image
Poop84

hi those tests show vaginal biome, if you need later implantation ie day 6 transfer more progesterone or less of it etc. I had it done at my new clinic.

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toPoop84

Ok thanks for letting me know . Are you mid cycle now ?

Poop84 profile image
Poop84

hi no I'm not until next year now

HelzBelzUK profile image
HelzBelzUK

So sorry to hear about your failed transfer.. this journey is soul destroying..

My consultant says the Emma and Alice tests are outdated but I suppose could discuss these with your consultant. Have you had a thrombophyllia screen? Had your NK cells tested? Has your partner done a DNA fragmentation test? Have you done a vaginal microbiome?

These are all tests we’ve done for failures/miscarriages. Our next step is to pgta our embryos. I know you’re young but I would personally push for it. Will save you a lot of heartache down the line xx

Good luck xx

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toHelzBelzUK

Thank you. No I’ve not had any of these tests yet. I will have to have a follow up and see what they say.

Zzzzzzaaaa profile image
Zzzzzzaaaa

Hi, so sorry to hear. I'm in the same process now. 1 successful transfer 4 years ago and just now 2 failed ones. Before trying 3rd in December and January I will have tests to thrombofily, era and dns for me and partner. Hope this will show where the problem is.

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toZzzzzzaaaa

Thanks for replying. What did your consultant recommend after 2 failures? Is the Emma and Alice test worth doing ?

Zzzzzzaaaa profile image
Zzzzzzaaaa in reply toPA86

Consultant didn't mention about Emma and Alice, actually I never heard. In December I have to do all blood tests. And then in January ERA. As first transfer was quite easy and quick then doctor thinks maybe the reason could find in ERA test as it is testing endometrial response what can change by years.

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toZzzzzzaaaa

Oh I see m. Best of luck I hope it all works out :) depending what my consultant says I may message you. Is that ok

Zzzzzzaaaa profile image
Zzzzzzaaaa in reply toPA86

I would like to hear what your consultant says. Sometimes more opinions matters :)

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toZzzzzzaaaa

Yes that’s fine I will let you know

Moshine13 profile image
Moshine13

I am so sorry to heard this 😢 It's so heartbreaking 💔 I would say that your test is correct 😔 it is quite late after transfer and it should show with a strong line by this point, I am really sorry 😞

On my 3 and successful transfer, I had changed to good quality supplements and my doctor recommended to have probiotics, as he said that some women can have the microbio in the uterus a bit out of sink for different reasons. I feel this might of been the thing that did it for me...never would know for sure but I think it is definitely worth trying.

Sending loads of love you way and wishing you all the best ❤️ please don't beat yourself up, you aren't a failer, you are doing your best! It's infertility that sucks and it's extremely unpredictable 😕

Sending lots of love your way xxx

Beclp profile image
Beclp in reply toMoshine13

I agree re the probiotics 👍 I added that to my 7th and only successful transfer 🙌

Moshine13 profile image
Moshine13 in reply toBeclp

I am sure that made a difference for me! Glad to heard that it made a difference for other people too ❤️ I think they should recommend it to everyone to be honest, it's a cheap and small change that can make a world of sense difference!!

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toMoshine13

Thank you for your reply. The morning after feels worse. Thought sleeping on it would be ok.

Which probiotics did your dr recommend? Would you mind sharing the name ?

Moshine13 profile image
Moshine13 in reply toPA86

It's never easy after a failed transfer 😞 I hope you feel better soon lovely.Yes sure, the brand I use is yagult. I hope it helps x

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toMoshine13

The drink ??

Moshine13 profile image
Moshine13 in reply toPA86

Yes x

Flowergirlhope profile image
Flowergirlhope in reply toBeclp

Interesting....please can you share what probiotics you used? Xx

Beclp profile image
Beclp in reply toFlowergirlhope

Hey I used a brand in Australia called blackmores women’s flora but it’s the exact same as optibac for women

Flowergirlhope profile image
Flowergirlhope in reply toBeclp

Hey thanks so much for that thats really interesting...been using these on and off but need to probably stay on them......but haven't really heard of anyone else using them so good to know Do you think it helped you?

Xx

Beclp profile image
Beclp in reply toFlowergirlhope

I took the everyday for 3 months leading up to my transfer. I can’t say for sure if that’s what made it successful but I had read a study that showed higher levels of these bacteria in the womb significantly increased implantation.

Stevie85 profile image
Stevie85

So sorry that you are going through this. It's so crushing.I was in the same position as you when we started IVF. Three failed transfers and we thought we had tried everything. What ended up working for us was ICSI. I don't know if that's an option for you? Because I kept having failed implantation my clinic also put me on blood thinners, which apparently helps with this. I was on Inhixa. They also upped my progesterone as I was convinced it wasn't high enough. I kept bleeding before test day even came around. I also tried a new supplement called Impryl. It's pricey but came highly recommended and is supposed to help with egg quality.

Hope you are okay. It really is soul destroying and so hard to keep going. Sending lots of love xx

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toStevie85

Thanks for replying.

Never really consider led icsi. Will have to ask consultant on follow up

Thierry101 profile image
Thierry101

sending loads of love, I have had 3 failed cycles and you’re right, it’s absolutely heartbreaking and soul destroying 😞❤️

I’m due to have my 4th transfer in around a week, I have PGT-A tested the embryo, had the era, Emma and Alice tests done, done the natural killer cells tests etc and changed clinic too, maybe worth looking into those tests?

Sending so much love xx

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toThierry101

Thanks for replying I guess that will be the next option for me to do pgt testing. What worries me the most is that what if all my embryos come back abnormal. I have 7 left

Thierry101 profile image
Thierry101 in reply toPA86

What about the Emma, era, Alice? It’s given me huge peace of mind that we are transferring on the right day: but did pick up a ‘bad’ bacteria that needed treating with strong antibiotics and I’ve taken probiotics for this too.

I did get 3 out of 5 of my embryos come back abnormal when I pgta tested but they were all high graded embryos, so that has saved us heartache from inevitably failed transfers.

It’s so hard to know what to do xx

Bimsie1310 profile image
Bimsie1310

Sorry to hear this. I've had 4 failed transfers so know the pain well! I've now in my TWW for number 5! I changed clinic for this one and asked about the Alice, Emma and Era tests and they don't recommend so I went for PGTA. I am 37 though. I agree that at your age they should be mostly normal but could be worth a check. I also did an at home microbiome test through DAYE then took some probiotics so hoping that has also helped.

MiniCeeCee profile image
MiniCeeCee in reply toBimsie1310

 Bimsie1310 just wanted to say best of luck for this 5th transfer, I’m rooting for you! I’m in a similar situation I think to you, 37 - 4 failed transfers, I’m waiting to have my 5th soon. Started probiotics the last couple of months. Hard to keep motivated isn’t it, but really hope this is the one for you! Feel free to DM me direct if want to chat being in similar situations! x

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toMiniCeeCee

Good luck to both of you I pray this time it sticks and all works out. Thank you for sharing your journey with me :)

MiniCeeCee profile image
MiniCeeCee in reply toPA86

PA86 sending you lots of hope for the future, it’s devastating but hope you find a way to work through what’s next. I’m treating this whole process as a bit of a numbers game, and whilst lts so upsetting when it doesn’t work out time and time again, just going to find the strength to go again. Really hope you get your little miracle x

OnRoundEleven profile image
OnRoundEleven

Dear PA86,

I am so sorry that you are going through this horrendous time. I just wanted to let you know that I had four IVF implantation failures, until my fifth implantation attempt worked, and my son was born. Don't lose hope - it is possible. A friend I met at an IVF clinic, who also has experienced IVF, was actually told by an embrologist that "3 attempts is nothing in terms of the number of cycles". There are numerous women who have to go through a fourth, fifth, sixth round, etc before it works. While there are no guarantees, and not knowing much of your circumstance, I think there should be a reasonable chance if you can face continuing the journey emotionally and financially as it has worked for you before.

The key changes for me between my four and fifth implantation was my husband had DNA fragmentation tests, which showed there were difficulties there. As a result of that, and my age (at the time 39 years old), the clinic said we ought to have our embryos PGT-A tested, which we did. We also had immune tests done (I have high CD19 and CD15 levels, and NK cells). We tested for thyroid problems (which we also had). If you haven't already, buy it starts with an egg book off Amazon, which provides great lifestyle information on what you can do to improve egg quality.

Since I had my son, I have done 3 further implantation rounds, which regrettably have failed. I had avoided the Emma, Alice, Era test, but am now going to do this on our next round, as someone has suggested that this failure might be due to an infection that I received during my C-section while giving birth to my son. Maybe something worth considering.

Also, I'd take probitics for your womb. I think Intrafresh is the name of the brand I was recommended.

I hope this helps. All the best.

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toOnRoundEleven

Aww thank you so much for sharing this.

Gosh you have been on a journey but I’m glad you have got your little boy in the end ! It is so hard, emotionally and financially. On Sunday I was really down. I seem to get my head around it today and I totally understand there lot of women who go through this and it is not just me. I just want another baby. I think me and hubby will take a break for few months and get all investigation s completed before we jump in again. I’ll have to think through everything and then go again and give it my all. I really do hope it works for you too second time.

Do let me know about your success with the other testing. All the best :) xx

OnRoundEleven profile image
OnRoundEleven in reply toPA86

Thanks PA86. That is such a kind reply. I wish you all the very best too and keep the faith - sometimes it is rewarded! I have my fingers crossed for you.

Flowergirlhope profile image
Flowergirlhope

So sorry to hear this😭😭it heartbreaking 💔💔 just been through our second loss in September and I honestly wondered if I'd ever stop crying.

We threw everything into this transfer and I got a strong positive....only for it to be taken away from us at 5wks ... exactly the same time as I got COVID!

One thing would ask is have you had NK cells tested? This was a massive factor for me (although this time didn't manage to keep the pregnancy going but he's made a few adjustments for next time that I need!)but I've had a few transfers before and nothing happened and yet all other tests fine! . Although he does wonder if COVID had something to do with it also! 😭

Sending so many hugs🥰🤗🤗🤗

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toFlowergirlhope

Thank you ❤️

No they didn’t suggest NK testing but I think at my follow up consultation they will recommend era, Alice, nk and pgt for sure. I just want to give it my all but I don’t think I can cope with another failure. It is such a cruel journey. I do wonder if the Covid jab had caused long term issues with fertility. I know everyone says no but I have my doubts. Guess we will never know ! All the best … thanks for sharing your journey 😘

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2

I know it feels devastating and difficult at the moment, especially after having quick success the first time but honestly sometimes it just takes getting the right embryo and you may not need to ‘change’ anything. Feels like the definition of madness I know but you have done so much already and to know you can implant and carry a baby as you have already. When you are ready think of the positives, you have embryos left from age 29 and even if you do need another egg collection age is on your side 🤗 in my experience 3 transfers isn’t a lot of attempts, especially all from the one egg collection so lots of hope and positivity for a successful outcome for you (even if it takes a little longer than you planned) 💜 so please feel your feelings but dont throw in the towel just yet all still very normal for IVF xx

PA86 profile image
PA86 in reply toTwiglet2

Thank you. I know you are right. I have got 7 embryos left. I think the worst part is you have ideas in your head that you want your child to have a sibling at a relatively similar age so they can grow up together. Then life gets in the way then you get curve balls thrown at you. When my first one failed I was shocked but I was able to accept that. Then I went again, this time the clinic, I was with at the time, didn’t change any part of the protocol. In fact they transferred an embryo when my lining was 15.8mm thick saying there is evidence base for this ! I knew it wasn’t right but I went along with it. That angered me as I know my lining was too thick. Thank I went to a new clinic in London, had all my investigations, I felt reassured and now it’s failed again and the blow feels worse each time. I know age is on my side still but I’m also worried about my husband sperm because back then he was on a lot of vitamins to improve morphology. Just feel a bit lost. I know I will get through it it’s just picking up the pieces.

Thank you for sharing ❤️

Twiglet2 profile image
Twiglet2 in reply toPA86

I’ve had success with with thick lining but you need to feel comfortable with your treatment. 7 embryos is an amazing amount of chances!!! Keep going lovely 🥰 xx

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