Embroyo transfer failed :(

[Shazb123]

This was my fiest IVF cycle and my only NHS funded cycle. I had a 4ab blastocyst transferred and started testing form 9 days past embroyo transfer until 11 days past embroyo transfer. The tests were all negative and I started to bleed yesterday. I feel so numb and devastated and feel like I cannot do anything. I am really struggling focusing working at work as I work with young children as a teacher I am constantly reminded of my negatives. I am so tired of seeing negative pregnancy tests and cannot believe it failed. I have no frozen embroyos left and feel at a dead end. Really could use some advice and support from others in a similar position.

[Hidden]

I just want to say I’m so sorry it didn’t work it is the worse feeling in the world but I promise you,you will start to feel better jsit ride it out cry if you need to ,be sad do whatever you need to do to get through this and as each day passes you will get stronger I don’t know your position but I alway find making a plan helps me. If you ever need to chat I’m here xx

[Shazb123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your reply. I feel I need to talk my feelings out to others that have had some sort of fertility issue. I am feeling very alone at the moment and I have been looking into my options. I have not tried the drug Clomid prior to IVF so I am thinking about speaking to my GP about this and trying naturally until I am ready for IVF again - if I ever feel strong enough to go through it again. I honestly feel so drained and I think I need some time off work to deal with this. It actually feels like a loss and I need to grieve over it.

[Hidden in reply to Shazb123]

It’s normal to feel like that Iv done this 8 times 🙈you will start to feel better but you need to be selfish and do whatever it takes to get you through this maybe talk to your gp and get signed off for a while the hardest part of ivf is your mental health you need to look after yourself you still have the option of trying naturally in the mean time till you work out where to go from him don’t rush yourself I promise I’m time your feel better xx

[Char2189 in reply to Shazb123]

I tried Clomid for 6 months prior to IVF and was told it’s mainly for ladies who do not ovulate but they said I had nothing to lose so to try it anyway. I took 4 months worth and all it did was made my periods heavy and very painful, had hot flushes and headaches constantly. I think that all avenues should be tried before IVF, it could be worth a try for you, everyone is different and it may work for you. Xxx

[Sunshine92]

Oh lovely. First of all i want to give you a big virtual squeezy hug!

You are essentially me 11months ago. First and only NHS funded cycle failed with a BFN from a 2 day embryo transfer and spotting from day 12 which soon progressed to bleeding & period. I had nothing to freeze & was devastated. I felt like my world had ended. I had put all my hopes on this cycle, did everything I could to prepare my mind & body & look after this precious embryo that unfortunately could not thrive inside me 😔

In hindsight i should have taken some time off work to grieve, instead I just through myself into work and my next steps with a private clinic. I think keeping busy and focused helped me. Talking to other people did too, to get things off my chest as to why i’d not been myself and what I was going through.

Fast forward 11months, i’m 30 weeks pregnant following my second round of ivf at a private clinic! We were fortunate enough to borrow the bulk of money for this round from my parents, and im slowly paying them back.

So much can change in 12months. This might feel like it, but its not the end xx

[Shazb123 in reply to Sunshine92]

I’m happy things worked out for you at the end. I’m trying to be hopeful and make my next steps. I haven’t tried clomid so I’m thinking to try naturally using that, if that doesn’t work I will have hopefully gained the courage for another attempt. I’m gonig to speak to my gp about this

[Sunshine92 in reply to Shazb123]

Absolutely. Its so good to have a plan i think .. gives you something to focus on, to aim for.

What you’re feeling is completely justified. Make some time for YOU xx

[Jezzabelle]

I’m so sorry it hasn’t worked out this time hun. I know exactly how you feel having got a BFN last week. You just need to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to be upset and then start looking forward. Thinking about what I can do between now and my next cycle is definitely helping shift my focus in to a more positive direction. It’s bit of a cliche but time does help xx

[Shazb123 in reply to Jezzabelle]

I’m really sorry you’re in the same boat. I have been looking at my next steps. I’m thinking of changing clinics and get add ins like implantation scratching. I’m thinking to hold off ivf for a while and to try naturally- I’ve never used clomid so I’m going to discuss that with my gp and see what they say.

[Bistbee]

I'm so sorry, its totally heartbreaking and sending you the biggest hug as I know exactly how you must be feeling right now. You need to allow yourself time to grieve this loss, that's exactly what it is. Can you access a counsellor through you're clinic? If so, I would highly recommend talking to someone about your feelings as they will be totally normal for anyone who has suffered through a failed cycle. You need time to work through the emotions and pick yourself back up to focus on next steps whenever you are ready to do so - there's no timeframe on this, you just need to be super kind to yourself. In your first cycle failing, you're not unusual, it happens a lot and although I know that wont make you feel any less angry/frustrated/fed up etc, just know you are not alone in this. Unfortunately a lot of people who've never gone through infertility just wont be able to understand how you feel right now so make sure you're putting the right support system around you, whether thats professional help via your clinic, friends & family or the amazing ivf community on instagram. None of us want to be in this club but we're all here to support each other x

[Shazb123 in reply to Bistbee]

Thank you so much for your kind words 💜

[ttcemmie]

Hi Shazzy. Sorry to hear you had a negative result yesterday on your NHS cycle. Sending you lots of love and hugs. This is a really hard thing to go through. And it just doesn't make any sense. Give yourself time to work through the grief and afterwards having a plan to move forward will help you focus on the future. Thinking of you. If you need time off work, take it. Whatever you need - do it. Lots of love xxxx

[Shazb123 in reply to ttcemmie]

Thank you for your kind words. I keep thinking things over as the embroyo was graded 4ab and what could have gone wrong. I have a follow up appointment with my clinic next week and a Session with the councillor tomorrow. It’s just a lot to take in . I don’t feel myself at all my GP has recommended I take this week off and we can review next week.

[ttcemmie in reply to Shazb123]

Glad you're doing the right things for you - taking a week off, getting a session with the councillor, and arranging a follow up appointment with the clinic. xxx