Given less than 1% chance of success

[Possibleendo2022]

I written a couple of posts about my experience with endometriosis but to give some quick background, I am 41, have stage 4 deep infiltrating endometriosis and am awaiting a surgery. As they want to put me on zoladex to induce that they hope to be a temporary menopausal state I have been looking at my fertility options.

My AMH is 0.2, I have had an AFC scan which couldn’t see anything on one side and 2 follicles on the other. My cycle is extremely irregular and I have been told that I have less than 1% chance of IVF being successful.

Of course I’m looking for success stories from people with similar stats however I am also looking for stories from anyone who has explored donor eggs and how they got their heads around this idea. This is all new to me and I’m very much feeling like a failure who has run out of time.

[Backagain987]

I am so sorry you find yourself in this position. I am slightly different, I had big fibroid problems and although my AMH was high, I clearly had an egg quality issue because I had numerous miscarriages and failed IVF's until I went donor eggs aged 45!

It took me a long time to get my head around donor eggs, I did a lot of grieving about not having 'my own' baby, read up a lot on epigenetics, joined loads of forums, googled for months etc etc. I found the whole process slightly removed because there was no egg collection and even on the day of transfer I thought 'I don't care if this doesn't work I am not sure I have got my head around this'. Fast forward 18 months, we were so lucky the first DE transfer worked and we have the most wonderful daughter. I am very aware she is donor, she doesn't look anything like me, and it feels a bit weird when people say 'I can see you in her' (we haven't told anyone she is DE.. we want her to make a decision when she is old enough whether she wants to share that or not)... BUT and this is the massive BUT.. none of it matters. I am absolutely totally and utterly besotted with her, I love her so much my heart could burst and it's painful sometimes, it is completely and utterly irrelevant she is from a donor egg, she is my daughter - I am her mummy - and from day one I have cared for, fed, (still) breastfeed, settled to sleep, comforted, cuddled, (tried to) discipline occasionally, entertained, pushed round for DAYS, rocked (for hours) to sleep, you get the idea. My husband said to me before she was born 'look how much you love the cat and she isn't genetically yours' and whilst it sounds stupid it's so true!

Honestly I wish I hadn't worried, and googled, and stressed about it for so long. I wish I had gone ahead sooner. Please message me if you have any specific questions! Good luck xx

[Kitkat10]

hi, you are definitely not a failure and also haven’t run out of time.

I have a DE daughter who I had when I was 43 after trying 3 transfers with my own eggs, AMH was 1.1 and AFC was 6-7 but even though I got 3 ‘top quality’ embryos, none were viable so I moved to donor eggs.

I joined the donor conception network to connect with people who were in the same situation or already had DC children.

I read a book called Motherhood Reimagined and I had 2 counselling sessions with the clinic donation counsellor. I have to say the counselling wasn’t that helpful for me but I think that’s because I needed to soul search for myself first to make up my mind about donor eggs.

I don’t know what the future holds for our journey but I do know that as soon as I saw my little girl on the pregnancy test, on the ultrasound screen and when I held her in my arms for the first time, I loved her unconditionally and wouldn’t change a thing. It’s not the course to motherhood I expected when I was younger but it’s actually much better than I could have ever wished for.

I do have an own egg son too, who of course I am very grateful for as well but I love them both equally and see them equally as my children.

It does take some getting used to when first faced with the DE option. It took me about 3 months of thinking about it. I wrote a list of all the things I thought were positives and negatives and then I revisited the list every so often and gradually the negatives like ‘no genetic link’ became much smaller in my mind.

It does take some thought, it is a big decision. There is lots of support out there, good luck, whichever way you decide to proceed. I wish you all the best in your journey xx

[Goldgirl]

Even with donor eggs, I had several implantation failures due to severe endometriosis.

After some research, I decided to follow a vegan + autoimmune diet. I did Vegan for 9 months and then my next 2 cycles were successful. My baby is happy and healthy

Remember to take b12 vitamin

I started fish oil on day 1 of endoprep or cd3

I introduced fish and poultry back into my diet at 9 weeks pregnant

I hope this helps someone

[MontsJ in reply to Goldgirl]

Can I ask how you did vegan + autoimmune? I’m on an AIP diet but as you have to cut out beans, nuts and seeds, there isn’t any other place to get protein from other than meat and some form of protein powder. I’m following Aimee Raupp’s egg quality diet.

[Goldgirl]

I don’t think humans need that much protein. Most vegan foods have sufficient protein. I think animal protein is actually the inflammatory factor or something.

Watched ‘the game changer’ on Netflix and that helped put things in perspective

To be honest I did the vegan diet 100%

My doctor was shocked that the endometriosis and adenomyosis were gone

I actually couldn’t do the AIP diet(except cutting out soy and gluten). Ate nuts and fruits in limited quantities

I ate every other thing, lots of veggies

Drank 4 liters of water everyday for over a year. Lols