unsuccessful SSR - devastated

[Terrierlover123]

Sadly, my husband’s SSR has not gone as planned today. To cut a long story short and the explanations - we were told initially after ‘we have some sperm but not as much as we hoped’. Sadly after thawing this, it wasn’t able to be used and it has been injected with something - I don’t know what, my brain is too jumbled to think, and it still hasn’t responded.

We have been advised to contact the Virologist to see if there is something that can be done after this. Has anyone else been in a similar boat? I know there’s another treatment we can try. Sadly, I am also trying to come to terms with the fact that even this may not work and to consider what our other options may be.

Has anyone else been in the same boat? My head is spinning, I feel very shocked. It has been a nightmare of a day.

[Freeway24]

Hi. I don't have any advice but I just wanted to reach out. I am sorry things didn't go well. It must be really tough for you both. When myself and my husband have gone through tests/procedures that haven't gone well we've tried to see it that we've learnt more about our health and that will get us closer to our goal. Not easy though. 😕 it is very clever what they can do so fingers crossed 🤞 Take it easy and lots of self care for you both. X

[Terrierlover123 in reply to Freeway24]

Thank you so much for reaching out to me 😀. It is a very sad situation and I feel a mix of emotions with no one to really reach out to. My husband feels very emasculated at the moment which is completely understandable.

Our next steps are to make an appointment with the Virologist and there may be another procedure we can have called micro-tese. I guess my next steps are to get back on my feet, get my positivity back and start again. Very disheartening when funding something privately as well it feels awful when so much money goes into something and no return. x

[Freeway24 in reply to Terrierlover123]

It's so unfair. Everything costs a fortune. We are scared to add up what we've spent on 6 rounds of treatment. The last one was £8,500. No one understands the devastation of it all if it doesn't go well unless they've gone through it. It must be very tough on his male pride. Allow yourselves time to grieve for the bad news. Your totally allowed to feel so many emotions. I always feel really angry when things don't go well because it always feels so unfair!! I think fertility network have a support group for men. I know my husband feels very isolated with it all. Good luck with your next steps and don't give up hope. X

[Terrierlover123 in reply to Freeway24]

Yes, the costs of IVF are unreal. Lots of money to spend and when it goes wrong, it feels very unjust and unfair. You feel as though you have done something wrong. That is how I took yesterday, what had we done wrong? what could we have done? It is very difficult to comprehend at times. Sorry to hear you have had to go through numerous rounds - where are you with things at the moment?

Thank you so much for reaching out. Time is a great healer and I am sure we will get back on our feet ready to try again soon x

[Freeway24]

Your welcome! I know how hard it all is. We decided to swap to donor eggs. Went to a clinic in the Czech Republic. Had 1st round. BFP but an inconclusive 6.5 week scan. I am very concerned it's going to be a third miscarriage. Got a scan 24th August which feels a lifetime away. I'd honestly rather not be pregnant if it's another miscarriage. It's so amazing us IVF lot manage to keep picking ourselves up after so much disappointment and trauma!! I find the women's messages on here so helpful and they drive me forward. I hope things get better for you. 🙏🤞We are a resilient bunch of people on here!! Good luck with it all. Feel free to PM me if you need to offload. I hope your husband bounces back soon.X

[Terrierlover123]

Oh Goodness, I pray that everything goes well on the 24th August, please update us! I have read some messages and different threads on here which has made me realise I am not the only one and not all hope is lost. My husband has really picked himself up today and I feel like I am the one feeling really down. We have an appointment at 4pm today so I'll update and let you know how I get on. Thanks so much x