Long awaited test day... BFN... I'm devastated 😥

Just to let you know I did my HPT this morning and got a BFN. I'm so upset after going through what felt like a very long process and trying my best to do everything right. I know I did all I could so don't blame myself but it's almost worse as I don't know what else we can do to get our dream. Neither of us have been diagnosed with any fertility issues as such but my age is against us. I feel so lost 😢

27 Replies

  • I am so sorry to hear this news as I've been thinking of you all morning. Xo

  • Ah thanks lovely. Good luck for yours tomorrow 🍀 Xx

  • Thank you. Sending lots of xxxooo

  • Oh no I'm so sorry Cheshirekit, sending huge hugs to you xxxx

  • Oh so sorry to hear. It's so frustrating and unfair. Sending you a big hug xx

  • I'm really sorry to hear this. It isn't fair and there's nothing you could have done to change it. Give yourself some time to grieve and recover. Although you probably don't feel like it book a follow up appointment with your consultant. They probably won't be able to give you an explanation but they may be able to tweak your treatment plan if you decide to have another go. I'm over 40 and after our 2nd round resulted in a BFN donor eggs were suggested, bit of a shock to me as supposedly my AMH was good for my age.

    Take lots of care and be kind to yourself.

  • Thanks for your kind words. I had my treatment through my local NHS hospital self-funded. I haven't seen a consultant so don't know where I go from here. I've left a message for the fertility nurse so hope to know more when I speak to her. Xx

  • I'm so sorry to hear this... When everything goes well it's doubly hard to accept it when it doesn't work.

    After our bfn I was in shock as everything had gone to plan.

    We booked our follow up appointment the same day as I needed a plan going forward.

    I've taken to looking at the first round as a trial run and hoping that this time with slight tweaks and additions (scratch and blood thinning injections) that it's worth trying.

    Take time to get your head around it ... My consultant said its just a numbers game.

    Holly xx

  • Thanks Holly, it helps so much to have everyone's kind words and support. We haven't seen a consultant, just the fertility nurse at the NHS hospital where we've had our self funded treatment. I don't think they'll treat us there now because of my age (I'm 43 next week) and at the moment my other half won't talk about what we'll do next. I feel a need a plan though and some hope to look forwards to. Xx

  • Really really sorry honey😖

  • Dear CheshireKit! I'm so very sorry for this failure :( This is really hard to find any soothing words in such a situation. And I know how it is to do everything possible, to go through numerous restrictions and get no result. Our 1st shot with donor eggs was a failure too. And to say I was not prepared for it means to say nothing. It was a disaster as we thought donor egg would have just nice perspective comparing to own eggs, but unfortunately it often takes us more than 1 att to achieve success. I guess I don't know your whole story but this very moment I KNOW what you're feeling. Time is the beast healer here. We have nothing to do about it. Try not to make haste decisions, though time is never on our side in this game. You should take enough of it to recover first before moving on.

    My another sorrow goes for that you don't have exact reasons why it is happening to you, hun. I believe this is harder to struggle without knowing the whole situation. If I've got it right you're in the case of unexplained issue. Sorry, hun, stay strong. I believe God blesses us for long waiting. Sending lots of gentle hugs to you XX

  • Thanks so much for your kind words. It really helps to have everyone's support going through this process. I don't know what we're going to do yet but I feel I need a plan to look forwards to. Thanks again for your best wishes xx

  • I'm so sorry to hear this, it's just desperately bad luck and that's hard to come to terms with. Be really gentle on yourself and list some questions for as and when you are ready for when you meet your consultant. Sending a hug xx

  • Awww bfn's are so rubbish. Big hugs and look after yourself x

  • Oh CheshireKit, i'm so sorry its not a bfp for you 😓 It is hard to deal with when you don't get a positive. Take some comfort in knowing you did all you could, that helped me recover massively. Big hugs to you, and have some time to yourselves to decide what you do next xx

  • Thanks so much baby2016, it's knocked me harder than i expected it to but trying to get on with things xxx

  • I'm really sorry to hear your news :( xxx

  • So sorry to hear this! Take care x

  • Sorry to hear your news. Look after yourself. X

  • Awww im so sorry about you bfn, sending you hugs xx

  • Oooh am so so sorry to hear this babez sending u HugZ xx

  • Sorry it didn't work out this time X

  • Sorry to hear this lovely xxx this IVF process can be so tough sometimes. Take some time to let things settle and do something you. Take care of yourselves. Lots of love xx

  • Ah thanks hon, that's kind of you. It's been tougher than I expected. Hope everything's going well for you, have you had your scan yet? Xx

  • I know it doesn't seem it now but it will get easier, I have been where you are now and it's really hard but take time for yourselves and don't give up. I'm 9wks now and going to my second scan tomorrow. Hoping all ok xxx

  • Thanks lovely Hope all goes well at your scan tomorrow Does it feel real yet? Xxx

  • Thankyou lovely. It's starting to but am still too scared to let it fully feel real just yet. Xxx

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