Fertility Network UK

Options after a missed miscarriage

I found out at my 7 week scan last week that my little bean was no longer growing. I was told I may start bleeding in the few days after but a week later nothing has happened. I am back at the hospital tomorrow to discuss options for managing the miscarriage. Has anyone else been in the same boat and what did they decide to do ? X

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Hi I'm really sorry to hear this. I had a missed miscarriage back in September we waited a few weeks for it to start but in the end we went for medical management as nothing was happening. The EPU gave me tablets to take at home later that day. It all started within a few hours, it wasn't a nice experience but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was about 5 weeks pregnant when it stopped growing. Good luck tomorrow with whatever you decide to do. Sending you much love and hugs xxx

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Thanks for the reply, sorry for your loss. I know how disappointing it can be x

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Hi. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had two this year. I had surgery on the first and medical management on the second. Those and the “wait and see” approach are about the only options. I’m so sorry xx

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So sorry for your loss, I’ve had both medical management 3 times (twice being unsuccessful) and the D&C as a last resort. I found the D&C quicker and a lot physically easier to recover from and had a lot less bleeding but mentally I struggled with being put to sleep and then waking up and my baby being gone. I think it depends on how your process things, medical management can be painful though as it’s basically brining on labour type pains and the medication can make you feel quite sick. Mentally whatever you decide it will take time to deal with but hopefully soon your able to begin grieving for your little bean. Feel free to ask me questions, I hope you decide on the choice that’s right for you xx

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Thanks for your reply, I’m sorry you have had to go through those losses x thank you for your advice

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I had medical management last Friday, whilst it is a waiting game it feels more natural this way, just make sure you have some good painkillers and a hot water bottle, I had to have 11 tablets to complete it and going back today for a scan to check the main part is complete, now just like a heavy period xx good luck

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Hi, sorry about your loss.

The hospital gave me a list of options. I chose medical management as there was fewer risks. On the day of the medical management, I had the miscarriage naturally. A massive air hug x

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I found out at 9 weeks that our baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks. I had been spotting for a few days so opted for the wait and see method. After about a week of just spotting I started with what I can only describe as labour pains, I'm talking excruciating cramps that became stronger and closer together. After a few hours of this the bleeding really kicked in. I was told the pain and bleeding would be like a heavy period, I know this is true for most but it certainly wasn't for me. I had to sit on the toilet or be in the bath for the best part of 2 days with gushing blood (I've since been told I should have gone into hospital as this isn't normal) It then turned into period type bleeding. I had a follow up scan and to my surprise there was still stuff remaining. I had to then have the medical management, this gave me some period type cramps for about an hour (although I was armed with codeine at this point so was fine) i had a bit more bleeding with the tablets, but nothing of any significance. It then started again naturally 2 weeks later. In total I had 4 scans, a ridiculous number of hours in the hospital waiting room and about 6/7 weeks of spotting with on and off bleeding. In hindsight I would have opted for the surgery, but I was terrified at the thought of been put to sleep and I didn't want to be part of getting rid of my baby, which is what it felt like to me initially, there was also an irrational part of me that thought they might have got it wrong and maybe the baby was still alive (mainly why I didn't take the tablets initially also). It is an awful thing physically and emotionally, but everyone's experience is different. If you go for natural or medical, get some codiene if you can, hot water bottle and triple the amount of pads you would have for a standard period just in case. It's so unfair that us ladies who struggle to get our bfp then get it snatched away so quickly. Good luck xx

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I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I agree that everyone’s different and you must decide the least worse option for you. I had a natural miscarriage. At 11 weeks I had spotting which resulted in a scan where the foetus was only 5 weeks. I was sent away and told to come back a week later for another scan to check it had definitely stopped growing. It had, so I was sent away again. I started bleeding a few days later in the middle of the night. It was painful and felt like bad period pain or contractions. I found I had to keep moving around, going to the toilet and used a hot wheat bag. It was hard but I remember feeling quite glad that my body had done what it should do. Emotionally I found it very hard afterwards. I was very angry which I’ve since discovered is very closely linked to grief. Please get some counselling. I wasn’t offered it initially and waited 6 months before going to my GP and being referred. I really think everyone should be offered it. Be very kind to yourself and your husband, take care and I hope which ever way you go, it causes you the least distress. Xxx

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Thanks everyone for your replies. I’m sorry that you have all had to suffer a loss. I have opted for medical management and booked in on Friday to take the first tablet then go back in 31st December to take pessary. I know it is going to be a rough few days and sad to end the year saying bye to my little bean and my hopes and dreams that it was to bring but I can get through this x x

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You CAN get through it.

Make sure you ask about painkillers in case you need them. And as well as looking after yourself, I would advise making sure someone appropriate knows what’s happening so they can look after your partner... he will be busy taking care of you but you won’t necessarily be in a position to take care of him back.

Will be holding you in mind over the next few days xxx

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